Women Keep Silent?

Women should be silent… 1 Cor. 14:34

Well, I don’t know what the greater theological meaning of this is. I know there’s a lot of debate in the Christian community about the ins and out of what it’s talking about. But I’m pretty sure that it’s a lot simpler than we’ve made it. And I’m pretty sure it doesn’t describe me.

I’m wondering if this describes me better, “The woman named Folly is brash. She is ignorant and doesn’t know it” (Prov 9:13).

I suppose in the big scheme of things there have been times that my toughness, or as this verse says brashness, grew out of necessity. In my brokenness I built walls of protection around my heart. We all do. If we keep the walls up, people stay out.

My walls were built with defensiveness, loud words, sharp answers, emotional distance and counterfeit strength.

We build walls for all sorts of reasons. We suffer abuse so we build walls. Our homes break up so we build walls. We have been betrayed so we build walls. Our hearts have been broken so we build more walls.

My walls have caused others to think I am callous, abrasive, loud, and unapproachable. I know this because the two people who know me best have pointed this out to me… more than once. But honestly, it hasn’t been a place that I have been willing to go.

The bible says that as a woman I “should clothe [myself] instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God” (1 Pet. 3:4).

Gentle and quiet. I am faced with the challenge of obeying this verse and being precious to God in light of my brokenness and fear. How can I be gentle when it has been my tough exterior that has protected me? Can I open my heart and be vulnerable to quietness in spite of my trepidation? I don’t know. But I think I am going to try.

I think I am going to try because my Lord tried.

But when the leading priests and the elders made their accusations against him, Jesus remained silent. Mt. 27:12

I have always thought that if I remained quiet that it equated my weakness but Jesus was never weak. I have believed my gentleness would give people the opportunity to take advantage of me. But I think the truth is that silence and gentleness require more strength from the depth of who we are. I think being able to stand before accusers and remain silent comes from a divine source of fortitude coupled with peace. It really is the mark of true Christ followers in whom the Spirit of God dwells.

So here I go. I am embarking on this journey into uncharted waters. I may slip back. I may sink. I may regress and build more walls from time to time. But I am going to pack some essential truths with me, to anchor my soul.

Gentle words are a tree of life (Prov. 15:4).
Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls (Mt. 11:29).
Always be humble and gentle (Eph. 4:2).
But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others (Jm. 3:17).

Wish me well… see you on the other side.

Sep 5, 2012Serena

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Comments: 4

Suzanne

9 years ago

Bless you on your journey, Serena.
As a rather strong-willed woman, myself, I can very much relate to this post. The notion of silence has been a constant challenge for me. When I was younger, it was tempting to believe that our culture was right: that this is just misogynist claptrap aimed at the oppression of women. Our culture is, of course, wrong. It is equally wrong to interpret this (as is done in certain circles) to mean that women should keep silent because they are weak or don’t have anything valuable to say.
As I grapple prayerfully with this and study it more, it becomes more apparent to me that our silence is our strength. That because we don’t hold public and authoritative spiritual roles, our strength comes from the things that are achieved with a gentle and quiet spirit. That we teach with our actions and with when we choose not to speak out. That we are given the difficult task of influencing without speech-making. No disrespect to preachers, their function is necessary and holy, but it is sometimes easier to give a sermon than to quietly go about the business of living for God.
Our silence is not meant to be a mere “keeping our mouths shut” or a suppression of our God-given personality, but a mindful, active silence. Whether it is in the face of hurt or insult, or in the day-to-day service to our families and our brothers and sisters and our Lord. It is a disciplined silence and one that actually speaks volumes about who we are and who our Lord is.
We are all, male and female, instructed to be meek, to be humble, to be slow to speak, slow to wrath. The female-specific silence, I have grown to believe is a function of our duty as nurturers.
Obviously, I have a few thoughts about this! Ha! All of it easier said than done. It is a matter of continual growth and challenge. Thank God for his grace in this and so many things. And thank God for you.

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Alicia Lee

9 years ago

Wow Serena! Very well put! I have found myself to be the silent one though maybe not always best either because I may stew inside about things that would be best out in the open. I just never knew how to be a voice (when needed) and have even found myself to be brash as you described. Thankfully I am trying to be more what God would have me to be, though there is still trial and error going on inside me. I love you and am thankful for you…

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Paul

9 years ago

I believe the command of silence and submission – though it flies in the face of culture – produces the fruit of the spirit known as “meekness”. It is unfortunate that modern versions of scripture translate this word to “gentleness” because ‘gentleness’ does not convey the full attributes of meekness. Meekness is a restrained strength – it is well illustrated by the lioness that has the strength and capacity to bite through bone and flesh and tear apart with her claws – yet with baby lions, she can pick one up in her mouth and tenderly set it down unharmed. But meekness is more than that. Meekness is the ability to take ‘self’ out of the picture and hold to what is right even if what ‘I want’ I don’t wind up getting.
It is an amazement to me that God – whose very word both created and now sustains our very universe – does not intervene to destroy us. Yahweh has indeed shown Himself to be the absolute perfection of all that is good! How tall an order for us to try to imitate God made flesh – Jesus the Messiah; our ultimate battle is to conquer self. That applies to man and woman equally because we won’t answer in judgement as ‘men’ and ‘women’, we will answer as individuals according to our talents.

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