Yesterday I fell through one of those trap doors of my heart. I sat in grief, locked in a room with Azaiah name’s on the door.
I struggled. Saints prayed. Then God gently showed himself to me.
I walked through a door last night that I didn’t really want to walk through. It was a place I didn’t really want to go. But God appointed it so I stepped. I may have had my eyes closed and fists clenched, but I stepped in faith. When it was over I felt Azaiah celebrate, “GO MOM! YOU DID IT!” Then this passage came to mind.
Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Heb. 12:1-3
I have a great cloud of witnesses cheering me on as I run the race of my life. Azaiah is one of those witnesses.
So today, with Azaiah as my witness, I will fix my eyes on Jesus. I will remember Jesus endured great suffering. I will remember he didn’t focus on the suffering, but he focused on the coming joy. I will remember. I will not grow weary. I will not lose heart.
Jesus, here I come! I’m running hard.