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Why Women Don’t Submit

Angry couple mad at each other in their living roomI’m not talking about the ultra feminist gals out there. I am talking about your every day, run-of-the-mill Christian woman. There are scads of us out there who know what the bible says. We believe what the bible says.

For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. Eph. 5:22

We want to do what the bible says. But when the rubber meets the road this is really, really hard. The concept is hard and the execution is even harder.

Sometimes we don’t do it very well. Sometimes we just don’t do it at all. Here’s why:

We don’t trust men with decisions.

Foolish spending. Bad investments. Career flops. Un-fun vacations.

Women are simply afraid of the unwise decisions we see some men make and we freak.

We want you to provide. We want you to lead. We want to see you flex your get-it-done, you’re-so-smart muscles.

Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. 1 Cor. 16:13

We don’t trust men with our children.

Maybe you aren’t the careless lunatic we think you are. Maybe you really do know how to love, protect and nurture our kids. But when we see you throwing them in the air, feeding them pop corn for dinner and not bathing them it’s tough.

Maybe you do know how to get them to school on time, pick them up at the right place and make sure they get their homework done. But that blank stare that you meet us with when we say, “Did you get the kids?” leaves us with a little anxiety as we wonder if little Johnny is alone, crying in the principal’s office.

We want to see you care for them, teach them, nurture them and encourage them. We want you to be a rock star dad.

As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him. Ps. 103:13

We don’t trust you with our soul. 

Putting our souls into your hands is the most agonizing leap of faith we have to take. We need to see you live a prayerful life. We need to see you walking intentionally with the Lord every day. We need to see you in the word, going to church and nurturing your own spiritual life.

Then… then we will feel safe enough to release our own soul to you.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. Eph. 5:25-26

So why do the whys even matter?

Well, because sometimes we need help. We need help to trust you. We need help to trust the plans of the Lord. We need help to obey.

Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important. Gal. 6:2-3

 

Aug 31, 2015Serena
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Comments: 3
  1. anonymous
    5 years ago

    Very Good. I really do wonder how one is to follow this command when the husband refuses to take over the responsibilities or make the decisions. When you know if you are not the one paying the bills or taking care of things, they will not get done. Do you stand by in submission and allow the whole family system to collapse, hoping he will step up? Or when the Christian husband is not following Christ and instead is gambling, or drinking or using drugs. How do you show respect to the husband who doesn’t respect the Lord? Should we follow them down the path of destruction? Great post on why woman don’t submit, would love to see a follow up on how we can submit in these situations.

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    • Robert Lloyd
      5 years ago

      I’m sorry I don’t see that anyone responded to you. Probably because there is no easy answer. Although it’s important to understand the reason scripture says we shouldn’t be unequally yoked – the reality is there are many people who have either come to Christ after marriage – or who were married to someone who presented themselves one way before marriage. Your questions are tough and I wish I had a solid answer. The reality is when someone wakes up in a tough situation the focus always needs to be prayer and focus on Christ, My grandmother was married to an irresponsible man for over 50 years, and she just prayed and prayed (and probably cried and cried) and toward the end of my grandfathers life he started to change. Before focusing on Ephesians chapter 5 verse 22 – please look at the verse preceding that (verse 21). Biblical, Godly, submission is mutual, Then consider the women are given two verses of instruction related to submission – and the men are then given 9 verses to explain their responsibility in the equation. I may be wrong – but if the man will not live up to his end of the equation – then verses 22 and 23 don’t apply to the woman. Although I believe strongly God’s intent is that marriage should be between a man and a women for life – there are no passages that tell women they should submit to a life of abuse. I do think there is a difference between abuse and irresponsibility…….. think I’ll ask my wife to go to Starbucks and discuss this…….. then I will pray that God will lead you in the matter.

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  2. Robert Lloyd
    5 years ago

    Excellent comments that are very helpful for my message tomorrow. My own wife had a tough time with the “S” word (submit) when we were married 36 years ago for all the above reasons. We were 20 and 21, and I’m grateful she put with me as I (both of us) matured, I remember when she came home from a Tupperware party to find me on the couch with a new Atari and TV we couldn’t afford (I can’t believe I did that – that’s not the “me” of today). And I remembered the time I forgot to pick up our 10 year old after his football practice (again, I can’t believe I actually did that!) All to say I’m fortunate that I’m married to a wonderful women who was patient while we learned to submit to each other, matured with each other, and always kept Christ the center of our lives.

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Serena
5 years ago 3 Comments Marriage, Submission in Marriage, Uncategorized, Wifehusband, marriage, submission, wife2,414
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