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When You Are Tired Of Hurting

Women-Victims-of-Abortion

The space between my highs and lows is getting longer, but the lows go just as deep. They cut just sharp. They are just as debilitating.

Tonight as I ache I am fighting feelings to run away far. I am struggling to feel like I matter. I being batter by waves. I am wounded.

It is really hard for me to see truth and to hear God’s voice in these moments. I hear the voice of the Accuser loud and clear. He moves front and center while the voice of Truth gets shoved to the back of room.

I check out and crawl inside my heart because the outside world just feels too abrasive. Noise seems too loud. Light seems too bright. Human touch feels repulsive.

Right now I am fighting the urge to go check out in front of the TV or fall into a numbing sleep. What I need to do is fight the lies back. I need to fight my way to the back of the room and grab Truth by the hand. I need to let Truth look me straight in the eyes and speak.

…

This is what he said.

I see you. 

My name is El Roi. I am the God who sees. I still see you.

She said, “You are the God who sees me.” She also said, “Have I truly seen the One who sees me?” Gen. 16:13

I am equipping you for every step that I ask you to take.

Listen to me. You already have what it takes to do this. You have the faith, the strength and you have me.

May he equip you with all you need
    for doing his will.
May he produce in you,
    through the power of Jesus Christ,
every good thing that is pleasing to him.
    All glory to him forever and ever! Amen. Heb. 13: 21

Every pain is working eternal glory. 

I know you don’t feel this in these moments. I know it is hard to have hope. I promise you it is going to be worth it. I promise. Trust me.

For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison. 2 Cor. 4:17

 

If you are suffering in one of your lows too, take a moment away to fight back. Push back the accusations. Reach out for Truth. Listen.

 

Dec 2, 2014Serena
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Comments: 4
  1. Melissa
    7 years ago

    thanks Serena for your words and willingness to share your struggle, it encourages me while I am in my own.

    ReplyCancel
    • Serena
      7 years ago

      Thank you. I am praying for you in your struggle today. We can do this even when the Liar says we can’t.

      ReplyCancel
  2. Jan B
    7 years ago

    Oh my Serena, You have hit me right in the heart. It has been 5 1/2 years and like you the highs and lows are farther apart, The highs stay pretty equal in intensity to the time before, but the lows, can plummet my soul to depths of despair that never lessens. And I am tired! I am resigned to this being my life, and I am determined to never give up. I have beautiful grandchildren that keep me going.

    Like Paul though, My husband and I are not tied to this world like we once were. I just have to fight the accuser and keep hold of Truth! Hebrews 13:21 is Truth
    At this point in my grief, I am much more private with it, because most do not understand. You have said it well and I know you do understand.
    You give a voice to my pain.

    ReplyCancel
    • Serena
      7 years ago

      Giving voice to the pain is why I believe God has brought me here. There are a lot of people suffering quietly and alone. If I can just assure one person that they aren’t alone it is worth it. Different things trigger my lows than they used to and that’s another battle to fight. I have to learn the new shape grief, depression and anxiety take in my life in every new season.

      ReplyCancel

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Serena
7 years ago 4 Comments Death and Dying, Depression, God, Heaven, Sufferingdepression, hurt, suffering277
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