The space between my highs and lows is getting longer, but the lows go just as deep. They cut just sharp. They are just as debilitating.
Tonight as I ache I am fighting feelings to run away far. I am struggling to feel like I matter. I being batter by waves. I am wounded.
It is really hard for me to see truth and to hear God’s voice in these moments. I hear the voice of the Accuser loud and clear. He moves front and center while the voice of Truth gets shoved to the back of room.
I check out and crawl inside my heart because the outside world just feels too abrasive. Noise seems too loud. Light seems too bright. Human touch feels repulsive.
Right now I am fighting the urge to go check out in front of the TV or fall into a numbing sleep. What I need to do is fight the lies back. I need to fight my way to the back of the room and grab Truth by the hand. I need to let Truth look me straight in the eyes and speak.
This is what he said.
I see you.
My name is El Roi. I am the God who sees. I still see you.
She said, “You are the God who sees me.” She also said, “Have I truly seen the One who sees me?” Gen. 16:13
I am equipping you for every step that I ask you to take.
Listen to me. You already have what it takes to do this. You have the faith, the strength and you have me.
May he equip you with all you need
for doing his will.
May he produce in you,
through the power of Jesus Christ,
every good thing that is pleasing to him.
All glory to him forever and ever! Amen. Heb. 13: 21
Every pain is working eternal glory.
I know you don’t feel this in these moments. I know it is hard to have hope. I promise you it is going to be worth it. I promise. Trust me.
For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison. 2 Cor. 4:17
If you are suffering in one of your lows too, take a moment away to fight back. Push back the accusations. Reach out for Truth. Listen.