We don’t like to talk about sexual abuse. We don’t like to acknowledge sexual abuse. We don’t like to think that our trusted pastors, teachers and heroes are actually wolves underneath. So for a very long time, we have ignored it. We have ignored flirtatious gestures. We have pretended that touch didn’t happen. We have closed our eyes when our bodies have been violated. We have blamed ourselves and buried the shame.
I’m a sexual abuse survivor. I am a sexual abuse survivor who is now raising seven children including six daughters. I would like to think my children will be isolated and protected, but the truth is they aren’t. None of us are.
So what do you do when it happens to you?
Scream
Scream loud and long. It is such an outstanding point that God made this the law under Moses. It was God’s way to reveal the difference between an victimization and consensual sex.
Isn’t that the biggest part of the issue today? All of these men are being accused of everything from sexual harassment to rape are saying some version of “she wanted it.”
If a man is caught in town having sex with an engaged woman who isn’t screaming for help, they both must be put to death. The man is guilty of having sex with a married woman. And the woman is guilty because she didn’t call for help, even though she was inside a town and people were nearby. Take them both to the town gate and stone them to death. You must get rid of the evil they brought into your community. Deut. 22:23-24
But…
If an engaged woman is raped out in the country, only the man will be put to death. Do not punish the woman at all; she has done nothing wrong, and certainly nothing deserving death. This crime is like murder, because the woman was alone out in the country when the man attacked her. She screamed, but there was no one to help her. Deut. 22:25-27
Tell
Sometimes we remember things or come to terms with abuse long after the time for screaming but still scream.
Even if you think it didn’t go “that far” still scream.
Even if it is in your family or your church. Still scream.
Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, expose them. Eph. 5:13
Talk. Tell your family. Tell your friends. Tell the school. Tell the community. Don’t keep it a secret and don’t try to fight this on your own.
Seek Justice
When justice is done, it is a joy to the righteous but terror to evildoers. Prov. 21:15
God has given power to the state to the be hands of justice on his behalf. Seeking justice is his will.
Pursue Peace
The unfortunate truth is that justice many not always happen in the courts of men. It will not always happen in the work place. It may not happen in your family or in your church. It may seem like it will never happen at all.
Remember God still loves justice. Let him seek justice.
Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. Rom. 12:19
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