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When Mothers Need Ministered To

mom-stressed-kid-mess

  • Overwhelmed by the incessant cries of a colicky baby
  • Potty training an obstinate toddler
  • Sleep deprivation
  • Preschoolers who won’t stay in their own bed… ever
  • Sitting through CHURCH!
  • Cleaning. And cleaning. And cleaning again.

 

These are just a few of the struggles of mother’s with young children. These moms are the silent sufferers in our churches. They are the unassisted and often ignored class who needs more ministering to than we realize.

When I crossed my Rubicon and had baby number 3, the weight of motherhood started getting heavier. One Sunday morning when I was standing in the back of church, a crotchety grandmother asked me how I was doing. I made a split second decision to be honest.

I said, “I’m actually really struggling to find the balance of being the mom of three kids.”

With a snarky laugh she said, and this is an exact quote as it was engraved in my memory, “Oh, get over it, I had five kids in six years.”

OldLady

After I picked my jaw off the floor and put my eye balls back in their sockets, I realized just how neglected mothers are. I wouldn’t wish that feeling of abandonment I was left with that day on any mother.

Well, baby number three turns 11 next month and a lot of things have changed for me. I am now parenting 6 children ages 2 to 15. And my support system rocks! Seriously, these people know how to do it.

This is dedicated to them.

May you be inspired to encourage a mother like they do.

Adopt a kid

Or two or three. God has forged a very special relationship between us and another family in our fellowship. Several years ago, before we lost Azaiah to SIDS, they lost a grandson to the same. When their hearts began to heal, their arms were empty so I filled them with my children.

Now, every Friday is “John and Susie Day.” My little girls look forward to that every week. I am not just getting a break. My kids aren’t just getting looked after. A mutual blessing is being exchanged and I love it.

Do laundry

Not only does Susie take kids, she also comes up once a week do help me with laundry. Folding that stuff is my most frustrating, never-get-to job and the piles start to suffocate me. So she comes up and folds a whole table full of laundry.

During my peak grief season I never had to do laundry. Women from my church came and did it all. For months.  My best friend even came and got laundry when we had lice. That’s love.

Sit with them in church

The other day I realized how spectacular my church family is with this. We have some new families, who were visiting with us for a while, and they didn’t know who our kids were because they rarely sit with me. My kids have special people who love them like their own and give them that one on one attention kids from big families need sometimes, even during church services.

Tell her she is doing a good job

Moms are so self conscious about their lack of parenting skills that a pat on the back goes a very long way. Tell her that her kids are great. Tell her those messes they make are beautiful. Tell her you love to hear their chatty voices in church. Tell her not to worry, whatever she lacks the Lord will provide.

See her

Sometimes all we need is someone to see our struggle and acknowledge it. Tell her you see her. You appreciate her. You pray for her.

Now go… hug a mother today.

Jan 24, 2016Serena
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Comments: 7
  1. Cari
    9 years ago

    This is a great article, Serena. Thank you. I only have two boys, but the day to day demands with a few “breaks” in between is really difficult. I appreciate the validation and the words of encouragement. 🙂

    ReplyCancel
  2. Serena
    9 years ago

    Two boys a full quiver make! I have one and he has provided plenty of challenges. I am praying for you this morning to be invigorated for Mission Mom today.

    ReplyCancel
  3. Sheila
    9 years ago

    Thank you! As the mother of two (youngest is now 17), and no “blood family” near enough to help, I too, felt like I was totally on my own with my children. Today, I’m guilty of not helping young mothers because I still feel so ill-equipped in caring for young children. (Sadly, lots of people are quick to criticize one’s parenting, but not so quick to help. I’m guilty of this too.) I thank God that both of my children love and serve God, their parents, and each other. Thank you again, Serena, you’ve given me something to work on in my own walk.

    ReplyCancel
  4. AJ
    9 years ago

    This brought me to tears. Thank you, Serena. I’m currently pregnant with our fifth (I had two miscarriages so two of them are in heaven) and just having 2 living boys during this pregnancy has been so, so difficult. My husband and I just recently decided to put our 10-year-old in public school next year because home schooling has just gotten to be too much for me. It’s already a struggle not to feel like a failure about that bc I look around and see moms with 5 and 6 kids who homeschool all of them and do a really good job. 🙁 But they are them and I am me: a disorganized, ADHD hot mess and I’m learning to accept that. Still it doesn’t help when I mention to my mom that we are going to put the oldest in school next year and Grandma pipes in and says, “Why?! Your Aunt _______ homeschooled FOUR children!” Ugh.

    So, thank you so much for this. I needed it.

    ReplyCancel
    • Serena
      9 years ago

      Oh my goodness… I have learned A LOT about respecting my limits. I don’t have to push myself to reach some other woman’s potential. I have to live in my skin, with my purpose, under the authority of my God. I have learned that a can of soup is a hot dinner and paper plates are biodegradable. Loving my kids with the same passion God loves me… that’s the goal.

      I’m praying for you and for this pregnancy. May this baby be blessed and healthy and strong!

      ReplyCancel
      • Laura
        9 years ago

        “I have learned A LOT about respecting my limits. I don’t have to push myself to reach some other woman’s potential. I have to live in my skin, with my purpose, under the authority of my God. ”

        I am making this the background of my phone since I’m too chicken to tattoo it on my hand. I am the single parent of 3 year old twins & I really struggle with feeling like a good mom & a good Christian. I often find myself disappointed when people say they’ll help & they don’t. Your words are going to help me be content with what I can do in this season of life, knowing that it will change in time. Congratulations on your new life. I think of your family often & pray for all of you.

        ReplyCancel
  5. Hannah
    9 years ago

    Thank you for this article. I know that everyone is busy, but until I became a mother, I did not realize how much parenting takes of every part of a person: mental, emotional, physical, spiritual. It “lifts up my tired arms” to be reminded that others know, understand, and care. It also makes me appreciate more those who help our little family. Finally, it’s a good reminder to me for how to be there for other mothers.

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Serena
9 years ago 7 Comments Motherhood, Parenting, The Church, Uncategorizedchurch, encourage, mom, motherhood, parenting1,193
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