When God Lets Your Child Die

“Isn’t your husband a pastor? Why did God let your baby die?” She asked me this with inappropriate curiosity mixed with genuine concern. She verbalized a question that a lot of people probably wondered. She asked a question that I may have even asked myself.

There’s a lot of questions that we wrestle with when our child dies. We wrestle with medical causes. We wrestle missed diagnoses. As we wrestle with our physical responsibility, we may wrestle with the part we played spiritually. Did God curse us? Did he punish us? Does he hate us? We plague ourselves with “what-ifs” and “if-onlys.”

When God lets your child die, the truth is, there are some questions that are best left unasked.  But there are also some questions that you have to have the courage to face if you want to make it through the Valley of Death.

You must face the reality of who God is.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge. Prov. 1:7

I don’t know what killed my son. I do know that God didn’t intervene. He let my son die.

I also know this God is good. He is good. His essence is good. He is an incomprehensible good.  And he must have had a good reason.

I will praise you forever, O God, for what you have done.
I will trust in your good name in the presence of your faithful people. Ps. 52:9

You must face the reality of who God isn’t.

He is not a killer. He certainly is not a baby killer. He is the life-giver.

In the sight of God, who gives life to everything… 1 Tim. 6:13

He is not apathetic.

Moved with compassion, Jesus stretched out His hand and touched him… Mark 1:41

He is not distant.

You must recognize that he let his child die to save yours. 

When the Roman officer who stood facing him saw how he had died, he exclaimed, “This man truly was the Son of God!” Mark 15:39