Jesus said to her, ‘Woman, why are you weeping?’ John 20:15
Jesus I have heard you ask me this same question 100 times. In that past two years I have cried more tears and wept deeper than all of my previous years combined.
I have ached with grief in my bones. I have cried for hours without end. I have vomited from the wretched pain of sorrow.
And yet you say, “Why are you weeping?”
Jesus, I am weeping because my son died. I am weeping because my family isn’t complete. I am weeping because a part of me was buried in the ground. I weep because he is gone. I weep because I have moments I imagine his feet running through my kitchen and the sound of his laughter. I weep because the death of a child is the worst, most indescribable horror. That is why I weep!
So why are you still asking “Why are you weeping?” You know why.
You smile knowingly at me.
You say, “Do you remember what my angel told Mary? He is not here, but he is risen. Mary searched for me that day in the tomb, but she found the tomb empty. Serena, if you go to his tomb you find nothing but a shell of who he was. He is risen and he is amazing. He is full of Father’s glory. He fills our hearts with such joy. You will see him soon. Not yet, but soon.”
“So why do you weep?”
I weep because it hurts.
“That hurt will be eclipsed by the resurrection of all the saints soon. Not yet, but soon. You will be delivered. You will be with me face to face, cheek to cheek. I can’t wait for you to see Azaiah. He can’t wait to see you. He and so many others who are anxiously awaiting your arrival.”
Ok, I say through the fog of tears clouding my eyes. Ok Jesus. OK!
Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning. Psalm 30:5