I will never forget the one New Year’s Resolution that changed me forever. It was the one resolution that really ever mattered.
As I closed out 2012, after facing my most trying year in ministry, I felt tired and worn and ready to walk away. Then I gave birth to a little boy, Azaiah Stone. His name means “my strength is Yahweh.” My fire was rekindled. My heart was healing.
I resolved:
2012 saw some of the deepest turmoil of our lives but also some of the most intimate glances of God’s careful provision through it all. I am resolved to face 2013 with a trusting faith that will go through the valley again if He asks me to.
On the evening of January 4, 2013, just 3 days later, that pledge was put to the test. Azaiah Stone DeGarmo died.
This resolution rung through my heart as I tried to revive my baby. This resolution repeated itself as I handed my lifeless baby to the paramedics. This resolution shouted to me as I rode in the ambulance, collapsed into the arms a nurse and watched them try to bring life back to my baby.
Then, when the ER spun in circles around me and I watched the medical team declare his time of death, This resolution anchored me.
Just a few days before I stood at the throne of the Holy One and promised him I would go through the valley if He asked me to. And he did.
He asked me to fellowship in his suffering. He asked me to feel the pain of watching my innocent son die. Not because he is sadistic, but to give me opportunity to experience the power of his resurrection.
That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death. Phil. 3:10
He asked me to trust him in every detail.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Prov. 3:5-6
He asked me be his stage.
And when the Israelites saw the mighty hand of the LORD displayed against the Egyptians, the people feared the LORD and put their trust in him and in Moses his servant. Exodus 14:31
He asked me to declare his name.
I will declare that your love stands firm forever, that you have established your faithfulness in heaven itself. Psalm 89:2
I did.
If you are reading this today, is he asking you to make the same commitment? Is he asking you to take his hand and walk through the valley? Is he asking you to be his stage, to display the power of the resurrection of Jesus Christ? Is he asking you to declare his name?
If he is? What will you say?
