The Day After Your Child Dies

Jan. 9, 2013 Azaiah Stone DeGarmo was laid to rest.

“I just learned that my friend Joe lost his daughter in a car accident last night. I’m taking a minute to stop & pray for his family. I would be honored if you would join me. “

I joined. I will never hear that kind of news the same again. As I bowed my head, tears washed my altar of prayer.

I don’t know Joe, but I know that Joe is having the worst day of his life. Waking up the morning after losing your child is the worst day of your life. You wake up, forgetting reality for a moment. For a split second you wonder if that really happened. Then the truth crushes you all over again. The shock begins to fade into despair.

I didn’t want to face my reality the morning after Azaiah died. I am pretty sure Joe didn’t want to face his today either.

Joe, wherever you are, I just want you to know I am sorry. I am sorry for your tragedy. I am sorry you lost a light. I am sorry you have to face this day. I am sorry you will have to plan a funeral, buy a casket and put your daughter in it. I am so sorry.

I wish I had magic words to give you. I wish I had a formula to ease your suffering. I wish I could tell you it will be alright. It will never be right. In fact there are going to be many days ahead that just feel wrong.

But Joe, I want to share something else with you. There is a hope within me. This hope has given me the strength to survive. There is a love that has given the ability to live again. There is a healer who has come to me in the darkest, most alone moments of my life.

His name is Yahweh, the Great I AM.

Yahweh Shammah: The God Who Is Present

“And the name of the city from that time on shall be, The Lord Is There.” Ezek. 48:35

Yahweh Jireh: The Lord Will Provide

“So Abraham called the name of that place, ‘The Lord will provide’; as it is said to this day, ‘On the mount of the Lord it shall be provided.’ “Gen. 22:14

Yahweh Rapha: God Who Heals

“I will put none of the diseases upon you which I brought upon the Egyptians, for I am the Lord Who heals you.” Ex. 15:26

Yahweh Shalom: The Lord Our Peace

“Then Gideon built an altar there to the Lord and called it, The Lord Is Peace.” Jdg. 6:24

El Roi: God of Seeing

“So she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her, ‘You are a God of seeing,’ for she said, “’Truly here I have seen him who looks after me.’” Gen. 16:13

My son, Azaiah, “my strength is Yahweh.”

Oct 13, 2014Serena

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Joan

10 years ago

In looking back I do not know how my mother did it. She had to go to claim the body of her son on a beach in Jamaica, because he drowned while high on drugs and alcohol. We all watched as the plane landed and the wooden box came down the ramp when after 10 days his body was returned to the states. My sweet mother, a widow of only 3 years, had to make the decision to have an open casket for the wake. I do not know how she did it when his girlfriend of 4 years had never ever been to a funeral in her life of 24 years and she would not leave the casket for one minute. She had to be peeled off of his body when it was time to leave. I do not know how my mother buried her husband and then her son. She would tell me anytime things were hard after that “Just thank the Lord, Joanie just thank the Lord”. Yes, death is part of this life and we can thank the Lord that we have hope beyond this veil of tears. Love your heart Serena.

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