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The Break-Up: When Can I Leave My Church?

"The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ." I cor. 12:12

“The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ.” I cor. 12:12

A dear elder friend and mentor of ours pointed out something interesting about the Apostle Paul’s letters to the church in Corinth. Paul wrote First Corinthians to one church. He wrote second Corinthians to the same one church.

I didn’t get how big that was at first. Probably because these days bodies of believers split up over hurt feelings, opinions, the wrong kind of music, boring Bible classes, stale preaching or because the services are too long.

These guys back then were dealing with:

  • division (ch. 1)
  • incest (ch. 5)
  • suing each other (ch. 6)
  • lust (ch. 6)
  • marriage and divorce (ch. 7)
  • idolatry (ch. 8)
  • disorderly assemblies (ch. 11-14)

They had some major issues. Yet when it came time to write the next letter, Paul didn’t address it to the North Side and South Side church or the church of Paul and the church of Peter. No these first Christians heeded Paul’s warning and stuck together.

I appeal to you, dear brothers and sisters, by the authority of our Lord Jesus Christ, to live in harmony with each other. Let there be no divisions in the church. Rather, be of one mind, united in thought and purpose. 1 Cor. 1:10

No divisions. One mind. United in thought and purpose. Now that’s hard stuff.

Paul didn’t stop there. We are one.  Each part of the body (the church) is necessary. In fact necessary is too weak of a description. Each member has been hand-picked by God and graphed into the body by the blood of his son. Just as God forms the physical body in the womb (Ps. 139:13), he forms each individual body of Christ.

The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ. Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles, some are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same Spirit.

Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part. If the foot says, “I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,” that does not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear says, “I am not part of the body because I am not an eye,” would that make it any less a part of the body? If the whole body were an eye, how would you hear? Or if your whole body were an ear, how would you smell anything?

But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it. How strange a body would be if it had only one part! Yes, there are many parts, but only one body. The eye can never say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” The head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you.”

In fact, some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary. And the parts we regard as less honorable are those we clothe with the greatest care. So we carefully protect those parts that should not be seen, while the more honorable parts do not require this special care. So God has put the body together such that extra honor and care are given to those parts that have less dignity. This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other. If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad.

All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it. (From  1 Cor. 12)

How many times a day do we tell one of our eyes, “I don’t need you!” ? Or how often to you find your arm saying, “I don’t need all the strain this body puts on me. I’m outta here!” Ah… that’s right NEVER! If that is the case with your mortal, physical body how much MORE critical is the unity of Jesus’ spiritual body.

We cannot divide what God has put together without serious repercussions. Why? Because God did it and he said don’t mess with it.

I know it’s hard. It’s hard to suck it up when we get our toes stepped on. It’s hard to overlook someone’s rude comment when we are having a bad day. It’s hard when we don’t think we are being offered the best bible classes for our kids or the most fellowship. It’s hard for me when I feel betrayed or misunderstood. It’s hard for me to put my thoughts and feelings low and lift my brother’s and sister’s high. But that’s just what I am called to do. That’s what you are called to do.

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. Col. 3:12-15

We are called as members of one body to simply live in peace- together.  And guess what… that’s hard too.

Have you ever thought about how big of a deal it was that Jesus made one church for Jews and Gentiles? The only relative comparison I can make in our culture is that if someone went to Mississippi in 1950 and decreed, “There will be no more white churches or black churches. We are all now one body in Christ.” That is hardly done in America today all these years after the Civil Rights Movement.  But the truth is not even racial or cultural lines should divide the body of Christ. That’s how serious “one body” is.

He made peace between Jews and Gentiles by creating in himself one new people from the two groups. Together as one body, Christ reconciled both groups to God by means of his death on the cross, and our hostility toward each other was put to death. Eph. 2:15-16

So I guess the original question remains. When CAN I leave my church? Well, the New Testament never mentions it. That’s right. The bible never talks about it. I think that’s pretty significant.

Now, there are circumstances that sometimes require amputation. Paul tells them in 1 Cor. 5 that there is a terrible sin spreading among the body. That situation of incest where a man had his father’s wife and they were bragging about it. Paul’s words cut like a knife.

You must call a meeting of the church. I will be present with you in spirit, and so will the power of our Lord Jesus. Then you must throw this man out and hand him over to Satan so that his sinful nature will be destroyed and he himself will be saved on the day the Lord returns. 1 Cor. 5: 4-5

How serious do you take being one body?  Do you believe that the body should be cut up? Are you OK with a little nip and tuck here and there? Or are you as committed to your local body of Christ as Christ is to you? Will the only thing that divides you from a church be unrepented sin? Our admonition from Paul is sure.

So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and immovable. Always work enthusiastically for the Lord… 1 Cor. 15:58

Jul 11, 2013Serena
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Comments: 16
  1. Carl Peterson
    9 years ago

    Consider Revelation 2-3. You have local groups where the faithful disciples are clearly in the minority (and dealing with some serious doctrinal issues), but none of them are told to leave that group and start another one. Rather they are told to “strengthen what remains.”

    The only times we read of a church “splitting” is to expand into new territory.

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    • Serena
      9 years ago

      I didn’t even touch the churches Jesus addresses in Revelation or this might have gone on for days. Those passages are strong.

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  2. Rhonda Marcus
    9 years ago

    There are about 50 things in there I would like to say men to. But I will just give it one big AAAAMEN!

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  3. Hayley
    9 years ago

    I have dreamed of forming a group of “my kind of people” with whom I can be comfortable in association without having to cope with the organized system of a local church and bad-spirited people. But how could I justify such a thing? Inspired writers never advised disciples to leave unwholesome [or uncomfortable] situations, even as existed in Corinth, in order to start a “true church”. Every child of God is “my kind of people” whom I must love and accept “warts and all”. I am called upon, not to start a new group of selected friends, but to bear and forbear and to exercise diligence to maintain the unity of God’s people.
    – Cecil Hook

    (I didn’t put this in quotes, because people tend to miss the things in quotations all too often. As a young person, struggling with a passionate “hunger for change” – I have tried to submit myself to this teaching, to this truth. It is REALLY difficult to want to stay in an environment in which I’ve lost my desire to serve. It is REALLY difficult not to explore everything under the sun, even a vast array of denominational or non-denominational churches, to find comfort in Christ. But you make extremely valuable points that are, again, serving as reminders for me to stick it out in the family! I was visiting at a church in Nashville when I heard about your family, and then your name popped up again on my Instagram feed when a friend shared a screenshot of one of your blog posts. I truly believe I was meant to find you and glean from your wisdom. You, indeed, being older and more seasoned than I – are “training” me, a younger woman. God smiles on this as often as I do. Thank you!)

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  4. Jenny Rutt
    9 years ago

    I find it interesting that the only example we have of someone being withdrawn from or “thrown out” is a man who married his own mother and was coming into the assembly bragging about it… The only example. But somehow people are thrown out and withdrawn from for many other reasons… Reasons which cannot be compared to incest on any level. Sticking it out and fighting through dissensions can be very difficult for sure, but withdrawing from someone or kicking them out on grounds of difference of opinion or interpretation is not biblical…and is essentially leaving your church. Abandoning a God appointed part of the body in their time of struggle is not what Paul had in mind when he spoke of “throwing him out”… Sadly this kind of thing happens all too often, leading the one who is cast out away from God in the end because those who were supposed to be God’s people and love as Jesus does did the exact opposite. I know that was a huge run on sentence but hopefully I’m making some kind of sense. 🙂 Main point being, that withdrawal is serious business with untold repercussions, and I believe a lot of the withdrawal that goes on in churches today is in fact leaving your church family out to dry. Showing more hatred than love and forgiveness. Just my thoughts… Love you, Serena

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  5. Stephanie Moody
    9 years ago

    Thank you so much for these thoughts! Refreshing!

    To Jenny, I just wanted to share my experience with withdrawal. I have only ever known of maybe four cases in my life where fellowship of a member with withdrawn. In every case but one, it was for unrepentant adultery or because one entered into an adulterous marriage. And, it was after a very compassionate and persistent effort on the part of elders and other members to convince the erring brother to repent. The remaining body was deeply hurt and saddened over the “amputation.” Again, I’m not arguing. Just sharing my experience.

    Thanks again, Serena!

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  6. Joan
    9 years ago

    Thought provoking and convicting. Thank you

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  7. Maggie Bacon
    9 years ago

    This is a very good article. Very pertinent for today.

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  8. Teresa
    9 years ago

    Interesting. I wholeheartedly agree with you that we are without a doubt called to be one body functioning together with humility and dedication. It is difficult to live in a state of forgiveness and loving our neighbors as ourselves. However, this is the standard to which Christ calls us.

    I do think that there is a HUGE difference between leaving a certain “congregation” and leaving the “Body”. There are many instances in which it is acceptable to change congregations in which we worship. We can find ourselves in a situation where we move to a new location. We can hear God calling us to use our gifts in service to another group of believers in our own community. We can expand our influence by reaching out to marginalized communities on behalf of Christ by forming new places of worship. It seems that the critical difference is our motivation. If we are leaving our current congregation because of petty differences, then that is sin. We are being prideful. If we move on at the direction of our Father, then that is obedience. Our affiliations or communities do not relieve us of our Christ-mandated obligation to function as Body…His Body. Our local congregation is only a part of a world-wide Body of Christ. We are defined not by our congregation, but as parts of the Body.

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    • AJ
      6 years ago

      Very well said, Teresa! God often calls people out of what is familiar to serve elsewhere. No shame in that! 🙂

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  9. Eddie
    9 years ago

    So terrific! AMEN!

    Dare I go you one further….
    Paul says in the first letter to Corinth we have been given the ministry of reconciliation; specifically there, man to God. Do we have the courage to reconcile man to man? 1 John 4:20-21

    The history of the church here would be familiar to many in the states…division on division. But in the last 8 years our church has sought to change that history. We are seeking reconciliation. Our group is made of up of four, formerly divided groups who now worship the Lord together every week, and work together in the community to bring others to Christ.

    This didn’t happen over night….it was purposeful, peace-seeking, efforts of grace and mercy over a number of years. It saddens me when I tell others about this, that they can’t even see this as a possibility where they live.

    Love your work sister!

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    • Serena
      9 years ago

      Ministers of reconciliation! Amen and love that you are actually living it! May the church in your corner of the world be blessed.

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    • AJ
      6 years ago

      How wonderful! God be praised!

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  10. Harold Ballinger
    8 years ago

    Do some that use 1 Corinthians to justify casting people out of the church completely ignore when he writes and tells them to forgive and comfort the man?
    2 Corinthians 2:5-11 NLT
    I am not overstating it when I say that the man who caused all the trouble hurt all of you more than he hurt me. Most of you opposed him, and that was punishment enough. Now, however, it is time to forgive and comfort him. Otherwise he may be overcome by discouragement. So I urge you now to reaffirm your love for him. I wrote to you as I did to test you and see if you would fully comply with my instructions. When you forgive this man, I forgive him, too. And when I forgive whatever needs to be forgiven, I do so with Christ’s authority for your benefit, so that Satan will not outsmart us. For we are familiar with his evil schemes.

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    • Serena
      8 years ago

      My take is that any time we practice any kind of church discipline that the end came is to save their soul. 2 Thes 3:15
      But we can’t sacrifice the body in the mean time. Their leaven will spread and weak Christians will be susceptible. Gal. 6:1 warns that even when we are trying to restore someone we have to make sure we don’t fall into sin.

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  11. Amber
    6 years ago

    That’s why it hurts so much when preachers are tossed out based on opinion disagreements or any reason other than outright sin. We are supposed to be a body. Why do we feel ok firing the preacher? Isn’t he part of the body as well?

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Serena
9 years ago 17 Comments Christ-followers & Culture, Christian Life, The Churchchurch, division, unity2,220
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