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The American Boy: From Superhero to Skirt Chaser… Why Our Sons Are Having Sex

boybikeWhen Tommy was in kindergarten his dad said with a nudge, “Hey, that Katie is pretty cute isn’t she?” 

When Tommy was in the 6th grade he went to his first school dance. His older brother told him when he’s slow dancing to touch her butt. He did.

When Tommy was in 7th grade he watched porn on his buddy’s phone. It was all he could think about.

When Tommy was in the 8th grade he went to the movies with a girl who let him go up her shirt.

When Tommy was in the 9th grade the guys in the locker room bragged about sleeping with girls. They rode him for not going all the way yet. The next Friday he met a girl at a party after the game. She was drunk and flirtatious. Tommy had sex with her.

This is the story of The American Boy.

Friends, we have set this ball in motion. We have made masculinity dependent on sexual prowess. We define boys with girls. We have allowed the objectification of young women. Girls have become something to look at rather than someone to cherish. We have purposed women by their ability to arouse. Lust is fed. Sex is expected.

So what? Why does it matter? It matters because God says:

Have nothing to do with sexual immorality, impurity, lust, and evil desires. Col. 3:5

It isn’t about safe sex. It isn’t about preventing STDs or  reducing unwanted pregnancy. This is ultimately about obeying a God who created the universe. It is about surrendering to an Almighty. It is about pursing holiness because the Eternal says, “Be holy for I AM HOLY.”

“I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman.” Job 31:1

We have created a generation of lewd, raunchy, unholy children. So what do we do now? We need to:

1. Stop It

Stop asking our little boys if they think little girls are cute. Dad’s and brothers, stop winking and nudging when a hot girl walks by. Stop making what a girl thinks the measure of success. Stop judging women by their breast size. Stop expecting that they are going to do it because boys will be boys.

2. Protect

We have to intentionally protect our boys from sexual immorality. We need to protect horny, hormonal teenage boys from temptation instead of  leading them to the slaughter. Protect them from porn. They don’t have to search for it.  It searches for them. Protect them from the school gym where the lights are low and they are encouraged to press their bodies against sweet-smelling girls. Don’t count on chaperons to do your job. Protect them from the lure of a dark room alone with a girl. They aren’t safe just because they are just watching a movie in your basement.  Protect our sons from girls who will aggressively pursue and offer themselves.

“So she seduced him with her pretty speech and enticed him with her flattery.” Prov. 7:21

3. Nuture

Men grow men. Our sons need strong men telling them they’ve got what it takes. Our sons need us to tell them they are strong, smart and capable. Our sons need to know they are real men because they have integrity not because they conquered the challenge of an illusive female.

4. Adventure

Feed his need for excitement. Let him live a real adventure.  Show him the thrill of following Jesus is totally better than the thrill of chasing some girl.

5. Intend Him For Marriage 

Speak highly of marriage. Let him see you live a fun, fulfilling marriage. Purpose him for one woman. Purpose him for holiness. It is possible!

Solomon says it best.

Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth.
She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always.
May you always be captivated by her love.
Why be captivated, my son, by an immoral woman, or fondle the breasts of a promiscuous woman? Prov. 5:18-20

God Our Father,
Forgive us for not recognizing you are holy. Forgive us for not creating homes where holiness thrives. Forgive us for not expecting our sons to be holy.  Forgive us making common what is sacred. Forgive us. Convict our hearts and bring change. Please heal the brokenness we have caused. Please clean up the mess we made. Let us lift our  sons up as our unblemished offering to a God who is worthy.
Amen

The American Girl: Princess to Promiscuous… Why Our Daughters Are Having Sex

Apr 7, 2014Serena
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The American Girl: Princess to Promiscuous... Why Our Daughters Are Having SexGod's Not Dead: Not So Good
Comments: 14
  1. Serena
    11 years ago

    Thank you. My husband and another brother helped. A lot!

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  2. Rhonda
    11 years ago

    I’m glad you touched on the “boys will be boys” mentality. That drives me nuts. Boys will be what you train them to be.

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    • LA
      11 years ago

      Absolutely, boys AND girls will become whatever they are taught, whether by word, or example. Thank you for speaking truth. I pray it will ring loudly and clearly in the ears of all parents!!

      ReplyCancel
    • Cato Younger
      8 years ago

      It is nuts, but boys do have a very strong innate drive. Women really have no idea. Boys and men have to fight their own nature 24/7. Do you?

      ReplyCancel
  3. Mike Liebler
    11 years ago

    Very interesting snap shot of The American boy/girl. I think it gives a lot of parents and youth workers something to think about and consider. I just posted a link back to both articles on The Youth Culture Report, thanks. http://theyouthculturereport.com/

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    • Serena
      11 years ago

      Thank you!

      ReplyCancel
  4. Kovu
    11 years ago

    While I agree with a great deal of things that you’ve written, I read this post and cannot help but get the feeling that you are taking unnecessary shots at teenage boys. Yes, our culture has twisted many of God’s truths, especially concerning purity and sex, but if young men have fallen, it is because our parents and the generation before has fallen first. We are all going to be held accountable to God. Therefore, we are called to be a generation of change. Your description of the “horny, hormonal, teenage boys” works more to tear men down that build them up and edify them. Train boys in godliness and manhood and watch God work amongst our generation.

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  5. Tina
    11 years ago

    I have three little boys and this brought me to tears. I want so much more for them. I demand more for them.
    Thank you for the honest picture of what could be.

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  6. Abe
    11 years ago

    Too much emphasis on boys in this article and not the leadership of parents. . Why would any boy save himself for a marriage if their parents aren’t playful together and joyous as a couple? It’s not society, friends, or iPhones that drag our children to sex outside marriage…it is parents and their boring relationships that create an atmosphere of temptation for “more” in boys and girls – because they don’t want to have a boring relationship forever. Love your spouse and be passionate for that person (appropriately) in front of your kids, and they will want nothing less than what you have found.

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  7. Abe
    11 years ago

    Not to mention we have an awful bent toward sin…while your seeking to be a passionate example if marriage, be a similar example for Christ.

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  8. Julie
    11 years ago

    Parents also need to stop letting their daughters dress like prostitutes. I’m embarrasses for some of these girls I see walking around.

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    • Serena
      11 years ago

      I couldn’t agree more.

      ReplyCancel
  9. Sherri
    11 years ago

    I found both this article and the girl one absolutely offensive. Sex doesn’t start with a boy learning how to judge a girl based on breast size. It starts at home with open and candid discussions. The thought of cramming Jesus down my kids throats so they’ll stay way from pre-marital sex is an absolute JOKE!
    You can follow religion all you want, but you know what happens when you cram it down their throats? Rebellion…. And it won’t just be sex at a young age, it will also include drinking, drugs and every other rebellion a kid can think of.
    Articles like this are offensive to the parents who don’t necessarily believe in religion. I plan on having an open home where questions are encouraged so my children can learn in a safe environment instead of going out and figuring it out on their own.

    ReplyCancel
    • Cato Younger
      8 years ago

      Um, this is a Christian website. You don’t have to be here.

      ReplyCancel

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Serena
11 years ago 15 Comments Christ-followers & Culture, Dating, Fatherhood, Home, Kids, Marriage, Motherhood, Parenting, Sex, Uncategorizedgodly parenting, premarital sex, sex and dating, teens12,516
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