Let me introduce you to my third-born child. In just a few days she’ll be turning 7. As we prepare for the celebration I can’t help but reflect on my pregnancy with her. You see, this child changed me. Come, if you would, on a little journey into my past.
In December of 2000 I gave birth to our first child, a son. I knew the whole time he was a boy, even before I had a positive pregnancy test. The ultrasound never confirmed it, but I knew he was a boy and planned accordingly. Two and half years later the Lord blessed my womb again and I was equally sure that this was another boy. I KNEW this because I was unfit to raise daughters. God certainly saw this same inability as well. I made a deal with my Father that I would raise godly sons for him, warriors for the kingdom.
As I sat in a dim ultrasound room with Daniel and Noah Kaydan waiting outside, the technician asked, “Do you want to know the gender?”
“Oh sure,” I said, knowing that her words would confirm my mother’s intuition.”
“IT’S A GIRL!”
Why was she smiling at me? Did she think this was going to be good news to me? Well, I couldn’t blame her. She had no idea about my defects of femininity. My heart sank. I snarled at God and said in my heart, “You’ve made a terrible mistake.” My husband and big brother came in. As they looked at her dancing on the ultrasound screen and they laughed.
The ride home was quiet. I contemplated. I was afraid. I was afraid of this little girl making all the mistakes that I made. I was afraid to guard her purity. I was afraid that she would walk my path of disobedience. I was afraid I would ruin her.
When she was 11 months old we found out we were expecting again. Certainly God would right the wrong.
Again, as I sat in a similar room, having another ultrasound, I found out I was having another little girl. This time God gently said to my heart, “My dear, it wasn’t a mistake. I made you to raise women for Me.”
“ME?! WHAT? You know what I’ve done. You know what I am.” Again, as only a gentle Father can do, He said, “I know.”
“I know,” He said again. The truth flooded my spirit that day. My Father knew it all, not just my sins, mistakes and failures, but He knew my potential. He showed me that day He created me for more than dodging my past and parenting from a spirit of fear.
We named her Jada, which means “wise” in Hebrew. Wise. God is wise. Who am I to question Him? I girded myself for the challenge of raising two little girls. I was blessed.
A couple more years pass and the rest of the story goes… I had another girl… and ANOTHER girl. Double exclamation marks on my Father’s decree.
So as I plan a party and invite family and friends, the celebration of Jada’s birth means more than another year or a reason to eat cake. It is my reminder that God purposed for me to raise godly women for His glory.
“May our sons flourish in their youth like well-nurtured plants. May our daughters be like graceful pillars, carved to beautify a palace” (Psalm 144:12).
update: 4/20/16 I just found out I am having girl #6