Motherhood isn’t just kicking my butt. It is wiping my bloodied face on the mat. Really!
I have a tempestuous toddler who has seizures.
I have a 13-year-old who was just diagnosed with the most severe case of scoliosis possible.
I have a 14-year-old navigating the waters of independence, self-awareness and emotion.
I have a 7-year-old who has been hiding homework in her back pack.
I have a 4 year old who is… well she’s four!
I have a nine-year old who is prone to withdraw during chaos and I often find myself neglecting her.
I still grieve a son who isn’t in my arms.
I have another 17-year-old son who is 1 year away from leaving my protection.
The past week it has all just been A LOT!
Then guilt berates me. You know that feeling of “I should be enough to handle all this and when I can’t there must be something wrong with me.” I shrink from the truth that it is too much. I don’t want to seem ungrateful. I really don’t want them to think they are too much. I do want them to feel loved by their mother every minute of their lives.
Here’s the bigger truth. Loving people selflessly will kick your butt.
When you give yourself completely over to loving like Jesus it will crush you. It will devastate you. It will pierce your side.
So Mama, when you are crushed, devastated and pierced… remember the end of the story.
Yet God raised Jesus to life! God’s Spirit now lives in you, and he will raise you to life by his Spirit. Romans 8:11 CEV