Is There Wedded Bliss After Baby?

Here I am. Twelve days postpartum. We’ve done this a time or two before, but I still find myself wondering, will there be wedded bliss after baby?

Hormones, lack of sleep, the demands of nursing a newborn and the needs of five other kids is taking its toll on my sanity, needless to say my connection to my husband. Really, it has only been twelve days, but I find the chasm set by the newborn sleeping between us is deep and wide.

So I am digging into my mental archives to remember how to jump this hurdle. This is what I have come up with.

  • Recommit to focusing on him… and by him I mean the husband not the baby.
  • Make it a point to do something to serve him
  • Spend time together listening and talking
  • Date. Even if it’s at home after the kids go to bed
  • Release the stress and laugh again
  • Get a shower and get dressed again

I would love to hear some of your suggestions to re-bonding with your husband after baby arrives.

 

Serena
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Comments: 1
  1. Suzanne
    11 years ago

    I don’t have nearly as much experience with this as you do, but I found with both of mine that our bonding together in that first few weeks was over the baby – the wonder of parenting together and expressing mutual appreciation and gratitude for each other in our roles as parents. The bonding came from understanding that this was to be our function for a few weeks, that it was shared time “in the trenches” so to speak and that through our strength as a couple, we would work through the hormones and sleepless nights into a new phase of our lives together.

    I had never been more in awe of my husband than I was in watching him with our newborns – such gentleness, such love, such sacrifice – and I tried to let him know that. Likewise, he made sure to tell me how impressed he was with my stamina and my caring and ability to birth and nurse a baby, not to mention his patience with my emotions from exhaustion and hormones. Not all intimacy is sexual, in my book. It doesn’t have to be all romance and roses for me to completely flip over my husband.

    Having a newborn at home is a bit of a trial, but it is such a shared blessing and such a magical, limbo time where nights and days are turned upside down and schedules and meals get all wonky for a while and everyone is in their pajamas way more than usual. We tried to just enjoy it for what it was, knowing it was the only time in each child’s life that they would be so new to this place and that eventually everything would go back to life as usual.

    I guess all of that is to say, give yourselves a break. Part of wedded bliss is the bliss of creating a new life and caring for it.

    Just my two cents. Praying for rest and restoration for you and your family. I honestly don’t know how you do it.

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Serena
11 years ago 1 Comment Kids, Motherhood, Parenting, Womanhood179