In the Ring: Homeschool vs Public School

TheHomeschoolMommyWars

Ok Moms! It is back to school time. I hope you’ve been training for the upcoming fight. It is that time of year to go toe to toe with other moms who haven’t chosen the obviously superior venue to educate their kids.

If you want ring side seats there is no place this battle rages any more fiercely than in the church.

I honestly don’t care about the pros and cons or the rights or wrongs of homeschooling vs. public school. It isn’t my business where you chose for your child to learn how to read. Here’s what I do care about, that God’s family remains in harmony.

Mind your own business

There is something inside women that burns to tell other people when we disagree with them. Whether it is health care choices, working outside the home choices or education choices, we like to voice our concern. We are just trying to help. Right?

Guess what? It isn’t your concern. It isn’t my business. Each family has been organized and structured by God to have a father at the helm and a mother at his side. You aren’t in that mix anywhere. Family decisions are best left to the family. So butt out.

Yet we hear that some of you are living idle lives, refusing to work and meddling in other people’s business.  2 Thes. 3:11

Do not judge

There are needs, circumstances and backgrounds that you simply are not informed about.  None of us are in a position to judge other faithful, good-willed Christians.

Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Luke 6:37

Do it 

So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Cor. 10:31

Whether you homeschool or send your kids to public school or private school, do it all for the glory of God!

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Col. 3:17

 

Serena
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Comments: 19
  1. Brent
    8 years ago

    I honestly think a lot of it has to do with mothers looking for confirmation for the choices they have made. To the public school mom, the homeschool mom appears to be a threat because she chose (for whatever reasons) to homeschool. Public school mom must now defend all of her reasons for her choice (at least she thinks she must). To the homeschool mom, the public school mom is a threat because she doesn’t think homeschooling is smart (or at least that is what homeschool mom thinks). Homeschool mom must now defend her child’s homeschool education (or at least she thinks she must). As I Have said in other forums I really don’t care what other people do or what they think about what we do (dads tend to feel more this way I think), and truthfully when I see mothers arguing about their choices it just tells me they lack confidence. Make the best decision for your child (which may include asking for others opinions or thoughts), and then basically just ignore everyone else comments that mostly relate to an attempt at self-confirmation. .

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    • 8 years ago

      This is spot on in my experience, when someone is insecure then they operate in defense mode. So, another mom making a different choice can be a “threat” rather than just what is good for their family. Their is not right or wrong choice, just what is best for your family. “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord”.

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  2. Beckye
    8 years ago

    I think many times people have the best intentions and really want to make sure you have looked at it from all angles. The problem lies in assuming all situations are equal and as they appear on the surface, which leads us to the assumption that the answers are yes or no, black or white, etc.

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  3. Angie W
    8 years ago

    Thanks Serena!
    I have done all 3 styles of schooling and I don’t believe I have been any more or less spiritual, good or right.
    Let’s support eachother in our endeavors to lead our children in the paths of Righteousness!!!
    If we cgoose not to be understanding and compassionate, how can we expect our children to be?
    Let’ shine some Light ladies 🙂

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  4. 8 years ago

    When did we start thinking that other people’s choices are condemnations of our own. This drives me crazy regardless of the topic.

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  5. 8 years ago

    Wow. Didn’t know folks were fighting about this. For my own personal reasons I started homeschooling in January. Does that mean I think everyone should homeschool their kids? NO. I will say, for us it’s the right decision.

    When we first moved to the States, it was the right decision for them to be in public school. They needed to learn the language, and this was the best way to do it, especially since I was overwhelmed with transitioning from one culture/country to the other. My two oldest girls have gone to public school their entire lives, and my oldest graduated and is now going to college. My second oldest will be a senior next year, and she’ll be “homeschooled” for the first time in her life. But not by me, if that makes any sense. She’ll be going full-time to the local community college acquiring duel credits for both high school and college. She’s so excited and so are we. What a money-saver! Did you know you can start your child in college courses once they are freshmen in high school if they’re being homeschooled? I know of homeschoolers who’ve graduated with 60 hours of college credits under their belts! An entire new world I didn’t even know existed has opened up for us. I’m amazed at all the opportunities available to homeschoolers.

    As for my two youngest, they needed me. We moved here when my son was six years old. He didn’t speak or understand English, and I got sick. I was sick for his entire elementary education here, so I wasn’t able to be the “mom” to him that I was to my older two kids. He was THRILLED that I pulled him out of seventh grade to homeschool him. As for my youngest who just turned seven, she didn’t like it so much that I pulled her out. She was Miss Socialite. But that was the problem. She’d go to school, socialize, and then after school bring home a gazillion worksheets that she didn’t complete while at school. This meant working at home in the afternoon and on into the evenings (imagine fixing dinner, trying to work with her at the same time to understand a problem, etc. I’m sure all Mom’s have experienced this, only for us, it was a daily ritual, and add three other kids to the mix). I was already “homeschooling” her, and she never had time to play outside after school. It was pretty much the same with my son. Anyway, she’s now LEARNING (she was about a half semester behind, and homeschooling made it possible to meet her where she was at), and she’s HAPPY. She fought it at first because it meant she actually had to “work,” but now she loves it and has more playtime than ever before!

    We’re also all making up for lost time now that I’m better. I feel like this is what God intended for me to do. This is my role, to teach my children His ways, especially through their education, and I’m loving it! My kids are my new passion. Before this, writing was my passion. And even my “idol,” despite the fact that I was doing it for the Lord. I can remember writing, being lost in a story, when my little son would stand by me, telling me his own story (something that happened at school, or with one of his friends, etc), and I wouldn’t hear him. I don’t want to be that kind of mom anymore. I’ve since learned God would rather I bring my children to His alter, rather than my books that will one day disintegrate in fire, and that also means, getting to bring my children to heaven with me! There can’t be a better profession than that! 🙂

    What other people decide to do is “their decision.” They know what’s “best” for their family. This is what’s best for mine: quality time with Mommy where they don’t have to spend hours of an entire day with strangers who don’t love them as much as I do. We are much happier with this arrangement.

    On a side note: coming from a public school “environment” I’d like to share the differences I’ve experienced with public schools and homeschool. One thing I’ve noticed that’s completely blown me away is the homeschool KIDS. Most of them (I’m sure not ALL of them) are amazingly mature for their ages and incredibly responsible. I went to a homeschool conference in the Spring, and the booth just inside the front door (where they took your money) was manned by KIDS! Two kids, ages 12-14. I couldn’t believe it! I never would have witnessed that in the public school environment. Or at least, what we DID witness were thieves. Thank goodness it wasn’t a huge booth they were manning. Anyway, that’s another story.

    I’ve just been blown away by the maturity levels of homeschoolers, which makes sense since they’re surrounded by adults all day and not a bunch of kids their own age. I also volunteered at public school for my children, and it horrifies me to think I was sending them to an environment where little first-graders took the Lord’s name in vain regularly (my youngest came home from kindergarten saying, “Oh my God!” and in preschool in Holland my son had to hear the F-word being used on a regular basis), and some didn’t bother listening to the teacher. Several of the kids had absolutely NO respect for the teacher or us volunteers. A few examples: walking around the classroom while the teacher gave instructions. When she sent them to the “corner,” they still wouldn’t listen. Pitching ROYAL FITS on the playground during field day. The class left the child there to finish her fit-throwing on the ground as they moved on to the next sport activity. The teacher isn’t allowed to do anything to discipline these children. Her hands were completely tied. As a mom, it was very tempting to “do something,” but I forced myself not to. But what was also sad was the lack of one-on-one instruction these kids got. I went to a teachers meeting where they were discussing this very issue. They were “lucky” if they were able to squeeze in three minutes of time with one student per week. Not per day. Per WEEK. I certainly don’t fault the teachers. I made it clear when I pulled my youngest out of school that it was NOT the teacher’s fault. They’re so bound by government-mandated agendas and regulations, they’re not allowed to be creative and simply “teach.” Instead, they struggle to meet the criteria, and are forced to force our kids into that “box.” That’s how it is here in Colorado, anyway.

    Okay, this is turning into a book.

    From a homeschool mom who’s life, and her kids’ lives, have changed for the better. 🙂

    Sandi

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  6. Amber
    8 years ago

    I have thought the same thing so many times. If I talk about my choice in schooling, I am not automatically condemning your different choice in schooling. Conviction about my choices is great, but the apostle Paul says that if I don’t have love, I am nothing.

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  7. Wayne S. Walker
    8 years ago

    I certainly agree that we should never judge others on this issue. We have always homeschooled and never though less of other Christians who used public or private schools. But I have a question. If we see serious spiritual dangers in many public schools, are we butting into people’s business and “judging others” by kindly and gently pointing out those dangers?

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    • 8 years ago

      I think you hit the nail on the head Wayne, if you see another brother or sister stumbling because of spiritual danger, we’ve got to jump in. We address the spiritual danger. That may or may not be because of the location of their education.

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  8. 8 years ago

    We can’t be ignorant to the world. Kids will be taught an evolutionary, feminist, fight for your rights agenda. They will be exposed to immorality of all kinds. But I am reminded of 4 exiled young men who were educated by the best and most worldly educators in Babylon and their faith in the true God got them in a spot in the Holy Scriptures.

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    • 8 years ago

      Yes, my kids had to stand up for their faith many times about those issues. And I believe it made them stronger. Sadly, they had to do the same under a youth minister we had. But again, they came out stronger for it. It’s important that we parents are INVOLVED in our children’s lives so we can help them through these times and be a support. I think it prepares them for the “real world” because public schools are “the real world.”

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  9. Beckye
    8 years ago

    the idea that homeschooling and sheltering children from issues will prevent sin isn’t Biblical. We are train our children up to walk in the Lord not hide them in seclusion and pray they are never tempted. All have sinned and our children will sin, we simple need to make sure they are taught the proper way to react and handle it when they do.

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    • Brent
      8 years ago

      Im not sure exactly what your point is, if you could show some Scripture that backs up your claim that would be helpful. Most education throughout the history of mankind has happened in the home. Deuteronomy 6 explains how this was to happen in Israelite homes. Public schools, especially in current form, are rather modern. Homeschooling is rarely about keeping children in seclusion and merely sheltering them (although sheltering them from some of what happens at some public schools would be a good idea). I would say that seclusion is the last thing I see among many homeschool children. My kids are busy doing a lot of things with other children. This is really an outdated idea about homeschooling truthfully. I’m sure there are some crazy homeschooling people, but there are also some crazy public school people as well.

      We homeschool our children because we believe we can offer them a better education. On top of that, they get to learn from their parents, rather than a person we and they don’t really know (and who changes each year). Public school teachers are sometimes really awesome at their jobs, but we are glad that we get to spend time with our children during the day, rather than them leave early in the morning, come home tired having assignments to do, and go to bed early so they can get up early the next morning again. This option may not be possible, or preferable, for everyone, which is fine, but it is what we think is best for our kids. We feel like that gives us the most amount of time and opportunity to train our children to walk in the Lord, rather than giving so much time to a person who might not have our same values to influence them. I’m sure our children could excel if they went to public schools as well. We feel fortunate that we are able to make an informed decision for our family, and that others can do the same.

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      • Beckye
        8 years ago

        actually Doug Phillips and Bill Gothard built empires on the idea that by homeschooling by a particular formula you will guarantee Godly children. I have lots of friends who home school, might have to do it in the future and my cousin was one of the pioneers in it 30 to 40 years ago. The assumption that I do not know what I am talking about is invalid in this case.

        I am not judging you at all- but you felt the need to be very defensive and justify yourself. This is exactly what Serena was addressing in her post.

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      • Beckye
        8 years ago

        and romans 3:23 is he verse to refer to about how sin cannnot be prevented by sheltering/homeschooling

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        • Brent
          8 years ago

          Actually I was just looking for some biblical support for your claim that it wasn’t “biblical” because I wasn’t sure what your point was, like I said. I have no idea who those people are that you mentioned, or what they teach, but I do know what Scripture says on the issue of parenting and teaching, so I was a bit puzzled by your comment. I guess if your idea is simply that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” so everyone is going to sin no matter what you do, than I get your point; however, I’m not sure how this really helps with decision making, truthfully. If someone has the idea that anything they do will guarantee that someone else will not sin, they are clearly off base, but that really has no logical connection to the value of a specific decision itself. My point was that if we are going to use Scripture as a guide it has a lot more to say about training and teaching our children at home, than anything else. So if we are going to talk about “Biblical” in regard to this decision (which I’m not saying there is a “Biblical” decision here, or that you have to do this, but you brought up the idea without giving any Scripture initially), than training at home would be the clear winner, since God commanded his people to do this in the OT, and their failure to train their children properly had terrible consequences. In fact, God told them not to interact with the people of the land (who you might call the “real world”), and to stay away from them because they would lead them into sin (seems he wished to shelter them). Of course, they didn’t listen.

          Again, it is not my suggestion or belief that Public schooling is wrong, but if we want to start making biblical appeals, I have a hard time seeing how training a child at home would be considered a negative thing biblically. I was really looking for some verses from you that indicate that sheltering a child from sinful situations is the wrong choice (there might be some, I just don’t know of any). If that is true, I would hope that parents of public school children would also be trying to shelter their children from sinful situations as much as they could. Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, as Proverbs teaches, I’m not sure its good for them to be in situations were foolishness is an easy choice. Rom 3:23 merely tells us that we will all sin at some point, and doesn’t really say anything about our efforts to keep ourselves, or others from sinning when possible.

          BTW, I went to public school, and Public school isn’t the real world either (well any more than Home schooling). My public school education was pretty good, but my experiences in life are nothing like what I had at public school. Of course, either one is the “real world” for children going to them at the moment. But there are a lot of things about childhood in general in either setting that just aren’t real, which is a good thing in my opinion. I’m never really sure why we are so interested in getting them in the “real world” so fast, whatever that means anyway. I’m fine with people having opinions about homeschooling or public schooling. Both of my siblings public school their children at the moment (although my sister has homeschooled some as well). The decision is personal, but I do wish to have answers when It is asserted that something is not biblical or “real,” etc. That goes beyond opinion, which is why I questioned your initial statements.

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  10. Beckye
    8 years ago

    my point was as stated homeschooling will not guarantee your child will go to heaven. My support for that is that all have sinned and must repent whether home schooled/private schooled/public schooled whether they are sheltered or not shelter from sin, the kids still will sin. Sin is sin- all are transgressions of the law 1 john 3:4. Some sins have worse consequences than others but in God’s eyes we all have blemishes. Equating home schooling with godliness, is extra Biblical it is adding to God’s word which is wrong Deuteronomy 4:2. That is Serena’s point and that was my point.

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  11. Brent
    8 years ago

    Beckye, I totally agree with that point. I just didn’t understand your point. Clearly heaven isn’t dependent upon schooling choices, and I would disagree with anyone who tries to equate home schooling with godliness, etc. On the other hand, I would disagree with anyone critical of home schooling because it is very clear in Scripture (and history) that training happened at home for centuries. That was my main point, and I often think arguments people make against home schooling are just not accurate.

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  12. Anoymous
    8 years ago

    I hope that everyone just understands that involved parents guiding children is a full time job. Know your kids’ friends. Help them understand God’s word. Open up a dialogue to allow your children to feel safe coming to you for help in sticky situations. Raising Godly children doesn’t happen by accident, so either way you go education wise, do it in the Lord. Study God’s word with your family daily. Don’t let sports, gadgets, be your idols. Stay focused on what really matters. Your children won’t forget what goes on your home – it is sports #1, decorating & gadgets #1, or is there real prayer, real bible study outside of bible lessons for church, and discussion about living a Godly life. I don’t think we’re helping one another being critical of parenting choices- I say if “you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.”

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Serena
8 years ago 19 Comments Motherhood, Parenting, The Church, Uncategorized, 365