I’m a God girl that’s who I’ll be
From the top of my head to the soles of my feet.- Jamie Grace
Four little girls are in my kitchen playing play-doh at the table. “Sisters Sweet Shop” is baking a lot of non-edible cookies and birthday cakes that I have to “eat.”
As they create their masterpieces, another little girl is bouncing in my womb… well maybe drop-kicking my womb is more realistic. She is my fifth daughter.
These are my girls. These are the girls God has given me.
Ten years ago, when I laid in the dark ultrasound room, the tech asked, “Do you want to know the gender?” I was sure that this was another boy. I knew because God destined for me to have boys. I was convinced. I had too many problems, too much baggage, too many scars, too many sins that could be repeated. No, I would never have girls. God knew better. The long line of mistakes would end with me.
Addie & Ellie
“It’s a girl!” She said.
Whoa. The room started spinning. Tears welled in my eyes. The first thoughts in my head were words spoken to God. With a finger pointing at him, my heart said, “You made a big mistake.”
I wrestled with myself and God over the next several days. I dealt with it but I wasn’t really on board with the plan. I stuffed my fears and embarked on parenting a daughter with a lot trepidation.
She was born. She was beautiful. She captivated me from day one, which made me even more regretful of her impending destiny. I just knew this wasn’t going to end well. But I kept stuffing and kept going.
The months went on and just before her first birthday the Lord opened my womb again. Surely he was righting the wrong.
Again, I laid in the same room watching my little baby squirm in black and white on a screen.
“It’s a girl!” She said. Again.
Whoa. I felt a wave wash over me. This time not of fear but of confirmation. “I made no mistake.” The Lord spoke a truth that my heart was hungry to hear. My girls were no mistake. In fact they were the manifestation of God’s mercy. They were and are the embodiment of God’s second chances. They are the faces of my redemption.
The message was reiterated again, again and again. I am now days away from giving birth to my fifth daughter. The message of redemption is getting louder and louder and louder. God did not make a mistake the first time or the fifth time. He intended for me to have daughters. He purposed me to raise girls of purity. He destined the long line of mistakes to stop, but not by just avoiding the possibility. Jesus planned the most unlikely scenario so that the Father could receive the greatest glory… through my daughters.
God wants me to raise a generation of girls for him.
So as I raise these girls there are some things I want them to know.
- You were made by God and bear his image in the beauty you offer the world.
- God’s plans for you are better than any you can scheme.
- You can be pure in heart and body no matter what the world says.
- Serving others isn’t an insult, it will be your great source of joy.
- The only man you should ever pursue is Jesus.
Kiki & Jada
May our daughters be like graceful pillars, carved to beautify a palace. Psalm 144:12
