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Glen Campbell, Alzheimers and the Last Summer With My Grandma

“Where is he?” She was frustrated and furious. She didn’t know where he was. Her husband hadn’t called. He hadn’t written her a letter. And he had been dead since I was in kindergarten.

I was 21. My grandmother was 90. Time corroded her mind and eroded her memories.

Country music legend Glen Campbell has fallen victim to the same corrosion of the mind. Moments ago I finished watching a screening of a 2 hour documentary following Glen, his wife, his children and his band on his farewell tour.

This film needed to be made. If you are a caregiver to someone with this disease, it was made for you.

exposes the darkness of the disease

How painful to watch the strength of mind and man shrink before your eyes. Alzheimer’s isn’t just inconvenient or burdensome. It is a thief that comes into the most sacred places of your consciousness and steals your most treasured memories. It leaves destruction, heartbreak and depression. It leaves you feeling like a child alone in the dark.

being vulnerable is not weak

Sometimes we get used to putting on a show. We get used to covering our imperfections. We feel safe hiding behind well constructed false fronts. But that’s not real strength. Pulling it together only to fall apart isn’t real courage. Showing people when you are falling apart is genuine, raw and real strength incarnate.

reveals the triumph of love

“I love you.” I love you when you can’t remember what year it is. I love you when you can’t remember what day it is. I love you when you can’t remember my name. Love means I will stick with you. Love endures. And every time, Love wins.

family still matters

Surrounding our fading and falling family members still matters. It still happens. It still softens the calamity. It still honors the legacy and life, not just of the ill, but of the Sustainer of their soul. Family still matters.

music is the language of the soul

“I will praise the name of God with a song” Psalm 69:30

Music is the language of the soul. It is the language of the divine. It is the sweet-smelling savor that rises to the Creator of melodies. And as the lights on the stage of Glen Campbell’s life dim, his music endures. When sentences tie knots in his brain, when his words fail, music, as God created, refuses to take a bow.

The last months with my grandmother shaped me as much as my first twenty years with her. She showed me her brokenness. She showed me her strength. She showed me her God. She loved me until the end. And I love her to this day.

I want to honor those of you who are in the trenches of caring for a family member suffering from Alzheimer’s. Flyby Promotions is offering a free 5 song EP soundtrack from the film, I’ll Be Me.

Here’s what you do. If you are a caregiver or you know one. In a few sentences, please tell me why you do it and what you are learning through this season. Post in the comments section below. I will select one winner on Friday, Oct. 24.

“Disclosure (in accordance with the FTC’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising”): Many thanks to Propeller Consulting, LLC for providing this prize for the giveaway. Choice of winners and opinions are 100% my own and NOT influenced by monetary compensation. I did receive a sample of the product in exchange for this review and post. Only one entrant per mailing address, per giveaway. If you have won the same prize on another blog, you are not eligible to win it again. Winner is subject to eligibility verification.”

Oct 20, 2014Serena
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Comments: 3
  1. Trish Preston
    10 years ago

    I watch my husband give care to those that the rest of the world has largely forgotten. I watch him love them and know them and feed them and talk to them. I watch him watch them die. At the end of their lives, when they are a shadow of the person they spent their whole lives being, but still need someone to care. Someone to listen. My husband is that someone. He lost another piece of his heart last night, and I mourned with him. You know death comes to all, and you know it will hurt when it comes to them and all that remains are the memories.

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  2. Joan
    10 years ago

    My father in law moved back to our city after being away 15 years. He is 90 with moderate to severe Alzheimers. My husband and I care for him when his wife is not available because he cannot be alone. He cannot remember anything from the present, where he lives, what he ate, what day it is or at times who we are. He was a Physicist with 3M and invented many amazing things in his career. When our sweet girl was born with Down Syndrome he encouraged me to have big dreams and high hopes for her. “Most children live up to their parents expectations”, he told me on one occasion and it gave me hope. Now, we all watch as he fades and yet he has the same sweet disposition and sense of humor. His wife was complaining about the “male” orderly who comes in to put her on the toilet to me last week. Her sweet companion of 65 years said “At least he was orderly” and we had a good laugh to ease the pain. We are no strangers to memory issues, as that is the biggest challenge for our daughter. A staggering statistic is the number of people with DS who get Alzheimers in their later years. A daily struggle for her is putting words into sentences and communicating. Much frustration for her and for us. Yet, she is so sweet about everything she has to deal with and rarely ever complains. Yes, they both have memories that fail them, but their spirits of kindness have not. We are blessed to know this kind of love and the joy in sacrificing for such sweet souls.

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  3. Karen
    10 years ago

    My sister and I care for our mother at home. She is in the advanced stages of Alzheimer’s. We do this because she would do it for us. We love her and it is not a burden. We have learned patience, how to laugh at the small things, and most of all how to appreciate the very small things. It is a blessing and a privilege to care for her.

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Serena
10 years ago 3 Comments Contests, Depression, Family relationships, Mental Health, Serving Others, Suffering, UncategorizedAlzheimer's, caregiver, family339
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