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Gimme a New Husband!

Ok married ladies, raise your hand if you have ever wished your husband would change? (Single ladies pay attention too! You may need to keep this info in your stockpile.)

Maybe you wish he would work less, lose weight, help more with the kids, listen better or be a spiritual leader.  You fill in the blank. If you’ve been married for more than six hours you have secretly, or even openly, desired for something to be different about your husband.

Sometimes we let those thoughts grow into discontentment.  I did.  I spent years praying for God to change my husband. As I prayed, my discontentment grew.  I wanted God to wave a magic wand and transform my toad into the prince I dreamed about. Funny how God works.  He didn’t answer… well not right away.  My prayers were missing a key ingredient. I was lacking a pure heart.

Only those whose hands and hearts are pure, who do not worship idols and never tell lies. They will receive the Lord’s blessing and have a right relationship with God their savior. Psalm 24:4-5

My prayers were offered selfishly.  I didn’t really want what was best for my spouse.  I wanted what was best for me. I wanted him to meet my needs. I regret to inform you that it took me about ten years to figure out that I was the problem.

Another unfortunate thing happened.  I started nagging.

“A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm” (Proverbs 27:15).

I wasn’t much of a refuge from the storm. I was the storm.  I didn’t quite get the idea, “It’s better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home” (Proverbs 21:9).

And frankly I lived in daily disobedience to the teaching in 1 Peter 3 to win over my husband without a word.

If you are finding yourself day dreaming about what your husband could be, let me suggest day dreaming about what his wife could be.

You want to see changes in your husband?  Change his wife.

Begin praying today to:

  • See your husband as God sees him
  • Love him as Christ loves him
  • Allow God to use you as a vessel of His love toward your husband
  • Have God help you hold your tongue
  • Let the Holy Spirit convict your husband of changes he needs to make not you
  • Yield to God, allowing Him to transform you through the power of the Holy Spirit

 

 

May 4, 2012Serena
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Comments: 3
  1. Serena
    13 years ago

    I received this today from one of the readers:
    Has Contentious Become my Name?
    Times have been hard
    Have I allowed myself to fall to these times?
    Have I become the woman that I never wanted to be?
    I despise the contentious woman but look what I have become
    I find reason to complain, whine and lament my position
    Why have I not followed the steps of the virtuous woman?
    Why can’t I be far above rubies?
    I do desire to do good for my husband all the days of my life
    I would desire to work with my hands in delight yet I find myself complaining
    I rise while it is yet dark even though I really don’t mind but I allow myself to whine and want pity from those that I love
    I come home and lament the things that are not done yet I do them quickly wishing those around me would notice
    I don’t put on the strength that God has given me instead I put on a contentious heart
    I do not always look well to the ways of my household but put on a tongue unbridled
    My prayer today is that my husband, daughter and MY GOD can forgive me for these sinful ways
    The devil has entered my door and I did not tell him to leave
    Have I made it so that my husband would rather live in the corner of the roof or in the desert?
    Have I become the steady drip on a rainy day; am I the same as this annoying drip?
    Please I pray that I won’t allow the devil to stay I will kick him from my path
    Today I acknowledge the LORD, trust him with all my heart and will not lean on my own understanding
    But I will allow HIM to make my path straight
    I want to be the crown of my husband and not become rottenness to the bone.
    Dear LORD GOD ALMIGHTY keep me from this evil continually.

    ReplyCancel
  2. marie
    13 years ago

    Forty-one years and I’m still working on this one. Thank you for the reprimand.

    ReplyCancel
  3. Rachael T.
    13 years ago

    I’ve heard it said that a man marries a woman hoping she’ll never change, while a woman marries a man hoping he will.

    Too often this is the case. Thank you for your great advice. Even though I’m not married yet, I hope to be one day, and at such point, this advice will come in handy.

    ReplyCancel

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Serena
13 years ago 3 Comments Marriagediscontent, husband, marriage problems, wife672
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