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Did He Really Die? Finding Peace In Jesus

006

artist- Laura Walker of Cullman, Al
presented to me after Azaiah died

This morning I was sitting at my desk getting ready for a bible study I have tonight. This question popped up in the study, “Have you experienced the peace that comes from truly following Jesus?”

And then the reality hit me again, fresh. “My son died.” Its like I forget it in some moments. I remember his birth. I chuckle at the memory of announcing my pregnancy on Facebook while my husband was on a hunting trip. Then the memories go straight to the night he left me.

So  as I meditate on the peace that I have experienced from truly following Jesus, it is undoubtedly accompanied by the memories of the storm that came first.

In my life as a Christ-follower I have given up everything from alcohol to sin to bad relationships. I have given up pride. I have surrendered privileges. I have fought for lost souls. I have poured myself out in prayer. I have given my  time, my home and my love. But no sacrifice cut as deep as the one I bear in my own flesh and in my spirit, the offering of my son.  No sacrifice caused as much pain or turmoil. None has evoked a storm of such magnitude. The winds of sorrow. The waves of grief. The pouring of tears. A torrential storm.

But it was in that storm that I found out my Savior still saves. He still saves. I am a living, breathing testimony of that truth.

He says some really hard things that go along with that truth though. Like I have to love him more than I love my child  (Mt. 10:37). I have to accept the fact that I am not exempt from suffering, because he wasn’t (Mt. 10:24). I have to be ready in every circumstance to follow him even into my deepest fear.

It’s crazy really. In my darkest pit, in my worst case scenario, in my most tangible fear, he spoke the loudest peace. My tears still flow. My eyes are burning as I type. But he speaks peace. In fact, as I was looking for a different passage, he no doubt led my fingers to this page:

A funeral procession was coming out as he approached the village gate. The young man who had died was a widow’s only son, and a large crowd from the village was with her. When the Lord saw her, his heart overflowed with compassion. “Don’t cry!” he said. Then he walked over to the coffin and touched it, and the bearers stopped. “Young man,” he said, “I tell you, get up.” Then the dead boy sat up and began to talk! And Jesus gave him back to his mother. Luke 7:11-5

I feel Jesus looking at me with the same eyes. He overflows with compassion for me. And he most surely says to me, “Don’t cry.”  I love all those things. But most of all, I love that one day I will see my dead son live too. I live for the moment when Jesus gives Azaiah back to his mother. That is truly my peace.

Because of God’s tender mercy,
    the morning light from heaven is about to break upon us,
to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death,
    and to guide us to the path of peace.- Prophesy of Zechariah Luke 1:78-80

Sep 11, 2013Serena
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Comments: 3
  1. Maggie Bacon
    9 years ago

    Serena, I want to tell you again what your articles have meant to me. They always seem to come when I need it the most. We have two sons and two daughters. Some years back our daughters went off into denominationalism. At that time it was like two deaths in the family. All four children where close in age and in their relationships with each other. It nearly destroyed our family that we had worked so hard for. I am not trying to take away from your loss but I know where the girls will end up if they don’t repent. Talk about peace in the storm. The girls know that our family can’t be “a family” untill they come back to the Lord. We talk, they know how much we love them, we see them once in a while. We don’t associate like we did before. We do not eat together. I and their father miss them so much. It is really hard with the grandchildren that are involved. You always wonder where you went wrong. With the Lord’s help we are healing, realizing there are othe souls to save. I am so thankful for how far you have come and where you are going. Sincerely, Maggie

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  2. Evelyn Garrett
    9 years ago

    Serena, we just studied that last night. New lessons on Discipleship, Jesus said hate father, mother, child, etc…and finally, reading your article today, it hit me. When we lose someone here on earth..do we turn away from God! Did we so love that person we are willing to hate God and walk away from Him. God is so amazing to me, how He has protected, shielded and wrapped me in cotton during my loss, and yes, gives that peace passed all earthly understanding. It is being blessed constantly when we walk with God.

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  3. Leslie
    9 years ago

    Thank-you! :’) <3

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Serena
9 years ago 3 Comments Christian Life, Death and Dying, Kids, MotherhoodJesus, Peace, the blessings in following Jesus, the cost of following Jesus273
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