I’m a Christian. Should I Treat My Depression?

“In my distress I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help.” Psalm 18:6

Most days of my last 338 days I have made a conscious decision to choose joy. I reminded myself again and again that true joy goes beyond my circumstances and the pain and the tears. True joy comes from hope. It comes from faith. It comes from God.

But lately my “choose joy” mantra hasn’t been enough to get me through the day. I have had fewer and fewer moments of joy and more and more of tears, anxiety and rage.

I walked into my doctor’s office yesterday and he said, “I’ve been worried about you and praying for you.” My tears unleashed.

I am a woman of faith. I am woman led by the Spirit. But the truth is, that in my flesh, I am also a mother with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Postpartum Depression. I have desperately tried to choose joy. But lately I can’t. I need help.

Antidepressants are stigmatized in the church… Others say that if you are filled with the Holy Spirit and walking with God in faith, you will not need them. They shame those who are responsibly taking them. But we don’t shame diabetics who need to take insulin.

We human beings are made up of three interwoven parts. As Paul says, “May God himself… sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ” (1 Thes. 5:23) We are body, soul, and spirit. – Staci Eldredge Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul

I have sought spiritual counsel for my soul. I have sought psychological counsel for my mind. And now, I have sought medical help for my body. I am receiving treatment for depression.

There’s a lot of myths about depression that keep women like me from getting help.

1. You are weak.

I have battled my heart out this year. I have survived. I am not weak. This isn’t about my weakness or my strength. It’s just about dealing with what’s going on in my head and my body.

2. It’s a mood.

Depression isn’t caused by circumstances, although it can be agitated by them. Depression is a real physiological problem with the brain. Most Christians can accept brain diseases like Alzheimer’s but when it comes to depression it often gets the faulty label of a bad mood or lack of faith. This isn’t about my faith or my mood.

3. I can snap out of it.

My normal stress coping mechanisms are ineffective. Getting time to regroup. Eating better. Sleeping better. Venting. Prayer. Fellowship. Nothing budged it. Finally intercessory prayer led me to my doctor.

4. It will pass.

I have coped semi-effectively with the effects of PTSD and grief but now that I am experiencing PPD as well, I have realized it doesn’t just pass. There are reasons that I have these problems. I have to deal with each of those reasons.

5. People will judge me.

On January 5, 2013 I committed to myself that I would do whatever I needed to do to grieve, to heal and to find solace. That hasn’t changed. This is part of my healing. People may judge me but this isn’t between me and people. This is between me and God.

“There is no point treating a depressed person as though she were just feeling sad, saying, ‘There now, hang on, you’ll get over it.’ Sadness is more or less like a head cold- with patience, it passes. Depression is like cancer.” -Barbara Kingsolver, The Bean Tree

Dec 5, 2013Serena

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Comments: 29

Joan
7 years ago
I needed this today, Thank you. You are not alone
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beckye
7 years ago
very proud of you. Too many times we hide in shame and fear revealing issues where there are no visible wounds. As a mother and wife dealing with a disability that most consider at best a joke , I know how hard writing this was and I thankful you got help/
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Amanda
7 years ago
I attended a ladies Bible study last year addressing the “elephant in the room” of Christians with depression. We had a hotel conference room full of teary women who have long been led to believe that depression was a sign of weak faith. It’s a real shame that such a stigma that is attached to admitting that you need medical help for what has long been accepted in most circles as a medical problem. I pray for you, though I’ve never met you, and I appreciate your words, and I applaud your efforts to do what it takes to find joy again in this world we sojourn in.
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Emma Bingham
7 years ago
I’m right there with you; I’ve fought depression for almost two years and as a 21 year old, I definitely know the stigma. I’ve hidden, withdrawn, over-compensated by giddiness, and grasped at straws. I have a wonderful family and boyfriend and friends and Lord, but that doesn’t keep my brain from crippling me. Thankful to see your strength and willingness to seek help—I am a huge proponent of medication because it has brought me out of my fog and allowed me to be a real, active servant of God. Some days it’s not enough, and I still fight it every day, but God’s given us a gift in the medical answers He offers through modern doctors. Praying for you, and fighting with you.
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Amy Melany
7 years ago
Very well said. I struggled with PPD after both kids and have had trouble with imbalance and depression upon entering menopause. I’m not ashamed to say that I am on medication to treat the problems. I am thankful that we have been blessed with modern medicine! Thank you for your words of encouragement.
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Carole Towriss
7 years ago
I, too, used to suffer, and I mean suffer, from depression. I now take medication. I got to the point where I no longer cared what others thought –I could not take it any more. My father and grandmother self-medicated. It’s genetic (or can be.) My father was an alcoholic. Unlike you, I had nothing to be sad about. Medication made a huge difference. I’ve heard the comments, but I don’t care any more. Thank you for standing up. I’m sure there are others who now will find the strength to get help because you said something.
Someone once said this world is not the world God created for us to live in. We’ve so destroyed it and it’s just so much harder than He ever intended it to be. I know He weeps at what we’ve done to His creation and to each other. But hang in there. It will get better. It will take a couple weeks but it does work.
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Serena
7 years ago
WOW! Thank you all for sharing your stories and your heart. I hope someone other woman reading this realizes that she isn’t “crazy” and there is help out there. I really wanted to open eyes and dialog. Thanks!!
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Cassie
7 years ago
Thank you for this. I exhausted my ability to fight my depression without medication. I succumbed to medication and it helps. Stigma is an ugly, wretched thing that is hard to overcome. Your honesty will hopefully help to dispel the myth.
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Kristie
7 years ago
This is so true. It amazes me how many Christians will go to great lengths, using all kinds of medications to treat an illness, as long as that illness does not involve the mind. Once the mind is involved, it seems to become wrong to treat it. No one would suffer day after day with pneumonia or bronchitis, but would go to th dr. for medicine to help. Why is depression, or any other mental illness, treated differently? It does not mean your faith is weak, but that your body needs help to be stronger!
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Diana
7 years ago
When you’re down, it affects all who love you, so when you get the medical help you need, you’re not only helping yourself but are also helping your loved ones, and that is definitely good for all of you. I see seeking help as a sign that you have enough faith to want to improve, rather than a sign of weak faith where you might eventually want to give up. I wish you all the best and hope you find a doctor who can provide the help you need AND that you’ll be able stay away from negative people who are trying to lay guilt trips on you for something beyond your control. Best wishes!
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Eric
7 years ago
Dealing with depression for men may have an even more disgraceful stigma. I’ve heard all of these things from members of the church:
1. You should pray more.
2. You should have more faith.
3. You are sad because you are in sin. This is your conscience and it can’t be treated with medicine.

I’ve also advised others to seek professional help for mental illness and I’ve been told, “No, I will not go to a ‘shrink’ or take ‘happy pills’. I am not crazy.” So, not only does the stigma cause those who seek help to suffer additionally, it prevents some who need help from seeking help.

If we don’t overcome this ignorance and meanness toward mental illness, we will end up destroying or running off those who are struggling with it. That’s hardly how Christians should treat their own who are suffering.

Thank you for sharing so much of your story through this medium. You’re courageous.
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Pat Hagerman
7 years ago
I certainly believe you should take medications when they are needed. I guess my response to someone who says it is wrong would be “where is it written?” I cannot even imagine what you have gone through and you should do whatever it takes to keep your sanity.
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Lori
7 years ago
I too have battled depression for a very long time.(25 years) I lost my ‘dad’ (step-dad really as my father was killed when I was 2) when I was 26. He was not a Christian and this had a great impact on my mental health. A couple of months later I was pregnant with my 3rd child and after she was born I went into PPD and it took a lot of treatment (including medication, group therapy, 3 in-patient stays in a mental hosp. and finally ECT) to get out of that chasm. This was over a 7 year period. After the ECT I was able to manage my depression medication free for 6 years but then had to return to the medication. The second time around I knew what to watch for and started treatment before the illness became too bad for normal treatments. I still take daily medication for my depression. It does not cure the chemical imbalance in my brain but keeps my thoughts more balanced and rational. Depression is a physical illness as well as a mental one. Most people wouldnt consider not treating cancer or diabetes, so why has treating depression gotten such a bad stigma. A lot of Christains are afraid to admit that they are depressed and need treatment because of what other will say. I for one am here to tell you that if you feel you may have a problem talk to your physician; there is help out there and you can feel better! God bless all of you are suffering and willing to share your struggles with so many!
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leslie
7 years ago
I am glad you are getting help. Clinical depression does not equal lack of faith. The time has passed where we can judge a medical problem as a lack of faith. A wise friend once told me ,”as we learn better we do better.” Hopefully things will equalize again so you no longer suffer.
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Judy N.
7 years ago
Selena, You are not only a wordy woman, but a very courageous and wise woman. I was placed on an antidepressant a few weeks aftergiving birth for the first time. Over the next several years I was on and off antidepressants. I have a strong family history of long term depression. I am in my 60’s now and continue to take antidepressant at my doctor’s recommendation. I can’t tell you how improved my life is and how much more stable are my relationships with family, friends, and fellow Christians.

Preach on, wordy woman. I am so proud of you!
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Chris Chambon
7 years ago
Thank you for sharing this Serena! I have struggled with this for years and years…and yes I have heard all the same things. “Are you praying?” “Aren’t you reading your Bible?” “Maybe you need to talk to someone” While all these may be true and they were things I did and am doing, it didn’t change all that was going on inside me. When people around you see or hear how you are struggling most can’t handle it and will avoid, which compounds the issue. I pray these medicines really do help you.
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Rachael Thrower
7 years ago
I know the feeling too… I have struggled with depression for quite some time now. I just recently (about September) started taking antidepressants. I’ve had many ups and downs since, but the medication has helped immensely. I have never bought into the common belief among Christians that we as children of God are never to be depressed. Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain, and it can be caused by many things. I also have anxiety. Fortunately for me, my medication tackles both sides of the coin, however I still have additional medication on me at all times, in case panic sets in. It’s tough, but it’s something that does not have to control you. It is never a sign of weakness. Some of the most powerful, brilliant people have suffered from depression. I’m just glad you got help before things got worse. I will pray for you!
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Paul Thrower
7 years ago
I too have struggled with depression for much of my life. There are many facets to why it occurs, but it IS real. Someone once said that if Prozac had been around in King David’s time, half of the psalms would never have been written. We live in a different time, and the stresses are, in my opinion, more difficult to bear in many cases. Perhaps you would benefit from amino acids (Jacquie got a book, “The Diet Cure” that outlines specific amino acids related to coping and food/substance addictions. It is powerful stuff – brain chemistry! In any case, those who would protest for natural remedies have advocated St. John’s Wort as a natural anti-depressant. The fact is that depression can lay you flat, and as you certainly well know, having many children doesn’t afford the “luxury” of being laid flat. You have done what you prayerfully believe is right to do; the medicines exist for a reason. They don’t negate the need for Yahweh, but they can often correct insomnia and pervasive and unshakeable negative moods allowing you to function in your God-given role more effectively. I applaud you for the openness to admit the need, and while I’m at it, I will admit the same. We both know that it is Yahweh who makes it worth waking up and serving through a day; it is wise to acknowledge when one needs help. Yahweh bless you dear sister!
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- Sandi Rog
  7 years ago
  Serena, I suffered from postpartum depression after I had my first in Holland. We’d moved their when I was almost seven months pregnant, and in the end I had to have an emergency cesarean. Depression is so hard to explain, but you explained it perfectly. You simply “don’t feel.” At least that’s how it was for me. I felt nothing. I prayed, I begged God to help me. The neighbors across the street had a baby just a few weeks before or after mine was born and he died. I watched as the family walked from their home to the burial grounds, and I felt nothing. I couldn’t believe it! I never got treatment for it, and I finally did slowly come out of it, but it took several months. Bless you, my sweet sister! xxx
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tami
7 years ago
Serena: You are brave; you are strong; you are fearless. You are taking a stand against your depression and declaring: You will not overtake me! As you have discovered, faith cannot cure depression any more than it can cure cancer, but your faith has made you brave, strong and fearless…and it is this same faith that will supply you with endurance as you proceed through this “fire”. So often we rely on joy and hope to sustain us, but in the absence of joy and hope endurance sustains us. Endurance is a display of faith that brings God glory the same as joy and hope do. Endurance sustained me through nearly 25 years. of clinical depression, PPD, and suicidal longings . My faith allowed me to endure even when I had no hope or joy within me . I received medical help, including medication and therapy sessions. I have been “depression-free” for 7 years now. I am a survivor! To God be the Glory in all of this. You are in the midst of your journey- you don’t know if your battle with depression will be over soon or last for a time: endure. You are surrounded by a “cloud of witnesses” who are going through, or have come through, the journey that you are now facing-take heart in this. Endure. You are walking through this- endure until you can walk out of it- joy and hope will be waiting for you. Endure.
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Karen
7 years ago
Bravo to you Serena! So many in the church are stigmatized when they admit they struggle with depression. I too have heard many of the things said in your article and in the comments. I have had this struggle as well as another ‘none visible’ illness. It is so discouraging to me to see how intolerant and unsupportive brethren can be when it comes to ‘non-visable’ illnesses. I wish you all the best as you heal yourself. Blessings to you dear sister.
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Cindy Awwad
6 years ago
i almost passed the article up. Why? I didn’t want to hear again that it is wrong to take medication for depression. Then I decided to read it. So so so happy I did. I do not understand the mindset of some Christians that say it is wrong or if you do it means one is not as spiritual as one that doesn’t. Why is it medication is considered OK from the neck down but medication for our head is wrong? Thank you for posting this and being brave enough to write truth.
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Private
6 years ago
i have been reading your posts for a long time! I can relate to so much! I

am staying private because of the “judgement” I will face if someone I know reads this! I have been told the exact same thing everyone else has! The sad part, instead of getting help, I start questioning the strength of my faith. That, then results in not feeling like you belong with all of the faithful! I wish our “brothers” and “sisters” in Christ would open their minds and hearts and allow us struggling to talk about it and be encouraged to find help! So for now, I will go back and hide in my hole and when I HAVE to be around people, put on my “happy” face!! I hope this changes in my lifetime!! Thank you again for your words! I do not feel quite as alone anymore!
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- Serena
  6 years ago
  One gift that God gave me after Azaiah died was taking away my fear. I used to be so afraid of what people thought of everything from how my house looked to how I worshiped to how “together” I was. I was not any achievement of my own, but I just don’t care anymore. It is so liberating to base my worth, make my decisions and allow my emotions to be led by nothing else than pursing God and holiness.
  
  I know this, when I am raging with anxiety or in the belly of depression, holiness isn’t the result. I do not bear fruit of the Spirit when these torrents blow into my life. If there is something to help me rein in my body, and NOT sin, I’m going for it.
  
  My prayer for you today is that you won’t feel alone for another day and that every day you can move one step closer to being the real you and know that its OK.
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Serena
6 years ago
One FB comment had this gem in it. “God’s word endorses sober use of His creation to mitigate the consequences of our broken world.”
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Treina Stuhr
6 years ago
As I read your article, I realized I was reading
through tears. I also have been dealing with
mental health issues, for over 25 yrs. Its not
just a mood or a feeling. Mine is a chemical
imbalance in my brain. I have been hearing
the same responses for years… Just have more
faith, Everyone gets down…etc.
Without medication I have found it hard to
pretty much function normally. With proper
medication and therapy.. I am more focused,
more zealous, more able to serve like I have
been commanded. I too love God with all my
heart, and the struggle is real sister!..
I love and support you!.. and prayers for all
of our brothers and sisters who live life everyday
to please God!
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Emily
5 years ago
It’s funny how when you’re the one with depression you give excuses on why it’s ok to go against what the church wants and get actual medical treatment. But when it’s homosexual and Transgender children killing themselves because of depression, depression thats almost exclusivly caused from bigots like you, they should have just “follow Gods plan” and prayed away their problems. You are a disgusting hypocrite and your child is better off in heaven tha they ever would have been growing up in such an evil and poisonous environment like you would have provided.
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- Amanda
  5 years ago
  Emily, I want you to think about what you just said and ask yourself honestly what kind of person you must to say something like that to a grieving mother. I’ll just leave that there with my sincere prayers that you become a compassionate human being one day.
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- Sandi Rog
  5 years ago
  Emily,
  
  You’re angry with the wrong person. But first, I completely agree with what Amanda said. It shocks me that you could be so callous, and I grew up with two moms! They would never talk this way, let alone think this way. I’m a Christian. My homosexual family loves me, and they don’t call me a bigot. I love them, even though they are going against what God wants, and they know what I believe. I don’t condemn them, that’s God’s job. I simply try to show them God’s love, and hope they’ll want Him too. That’s what “tolerance” looks like.
  
  If you knew anything about Christianity at all, you’d know that “God is love” 1 John 4:8. As Christians, we are to try to be like Jesus: LOVE. Clearly, you know nothing about your Creator and how much He loves you. I don’t know what kind of experience you or your friends have had with so-called Christians, but your anger gives me the impression it wasn’t anything positive. And I’m so sorry for that.
  
  Again, you are angry at the wrong person. Serena didn’t write the rules. God did. So, you should direct your anger toward Him. Don’t worry, He can take it. He invented the emotion. Here’s what HE has to say.
  
  1 Corinthians 6:9-11 “Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God. Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”
  
  Notice, there is HOPE in that verse, IF we’re not fooled. Hope for not just homosexuals, but hope for ALL of us! I’m sure every person on the planet has stolen one item in their life, no matter how small, and that makes us all a “thief.” And that’s just “one” thing on the list when more things likely apply to us. These depressed people who are homosexuals need help, they need hope, and that can only be found in Christ.
  
  Some folks claim to be born homosexual, but God would not condemn something if it couldn’t be helped, if it wasn’t a “choice.” God would never do that. It’d be like telling someone they’re going to hell because they were born without legs. That’s not the God of love. These folks have made a choice. They have chosen their path. And it’s wrong. Plain a simple.
  
  Homosexuality is a “sexual orientation,” right? Well, what about all the folks who are “sexually oriented” toward children? Is that not wrong? Who’s to say? Who made the “rule?” What if they were born that way? We all know they weren’t. God says they’d be better off with a millstone hung around their necks and tossed into the sea verses facing His wrath for harming a child (Luke 17:2, Mark 9:42).
  
  None of us are perfect. Not one. Not me, not you, and not Serena. We all make mistakes, every single one of us. There’s only one who is perfect. That’s Jesus Christ. Have you ever heard the song, “What if God was one of Us”? Well, He was one of us. Jesus was God in the flesh, and He came for one reason: to DIE on behalf of all of us imperfect, mistake-making sinners so that we don’t have to pay the price for our sin. You see, because God is love, He simply can NOT be around sin. Period. No more than any of us would want to be locked in the same room with a child-molester. So, because God is love and loves us A LOT, He found a way for us to be around Him, and that’s through Jesus Christ and the blood He shed on our behalf. In other words, God loves you so much He gave up His son for you. Yes for YOU. I wouldn’t give up any of my children for anyone. No matter how “good” that person was. And yet, God gave up His ONE and ONLY child for a bunch of filthy sinners, like you and me. But … we must obey God if we want to love Him back. We must die with Christ through baptism in order to have our sins washed away and change our lives. It’s the only way we can be around God, if we have no sin. Christ is the only one who makes that possible.
  
  Anyway, none of my LGBT family would speak the way you did to Serena. Not one. But again, none of us are perfect, which is why we all need Jesus. He’s willing and ready to forgive you and save your soul. But you’ve got to want it. That means turning away from sin and obeying God’s “rules.”
  
  Blessings,
  
  Sandi
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