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Dear Naysayers, Shhh!

orphans1

Pure and genuine religion is this.

If the Lord wills, this fall we will be the parents and caregivers of eight children, 6 biological and 2 adopted.

We have heard all the criticism masked as concern. Ok well, maybe not everyone has had the guts to speak their “concern” but here’s a few I’ve heard already.

  • What if you run out of money?
  • What if the kids don’t get a long?
  • Can you handle it?
  • What if it all falls apart?
  • What if there are problems with their biological family?
  • It’s a big job.
  • That’s a lot of kids.
  • Is that too much responsibility?
  • How will you feed them and clothe them?

Well, I came across this line from the Christian Alliance For Orphans, who hosted an adoption summit in Nashville over the weekend.

“Taking on the characteristics of the Father to the fatherless…You’re not crazy and don’t back down…Uniting under the gospel to demonstrate the gospel.” 

When I read those lines up there, those “concerns” are dirt.  I am eternally motivated to take on the characteristics of my Father to the fatherless. I am roused to demonstrate the power of the gospel of Jesus Christ that saved me. I get to do that for the rest of my life to two children. Maybe it IS crazy but I want to do something the world thinks is crazy. And I want to do it in the name of Jesus, to show his power to perfectly  orchestrate and design my life.

And I wonder if the contemporaries of my heroes of faith thought they were crazy too.

Was it crazy for Moses to challenge the King of Egypt? Was it crazy for young David to challenge Goliath? Was it crazy for Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego to challenge the authority of a blood-thirsty King? Was it crazy for Mary to challenge the customs of her people and agree to open her womb to Immanuel?

Is it crazy for me to balk at my materialistic, selfish culture and raise 8 kids? I hope so.

When I look into they eyes of my two children who have lost their parents, their home, their life, honestly, money doesn’t matter. What are their lives in comparison to money? If we have to go with less, we will. If we have to sell our stuff, we will. If there are problems, we will deal with them.  And if it all falls apart, we will watch God rebuild it.

At the end of all my fears I find faith. Faith in the promises and truth of my Father. All those concerns melt when matched up to the truth of  God. The Book is filled with truth that cannot be undone, even in the face of fear and concern.

  • It is more blessed to give than to receive. (Acts 20:35)
  • Defend the orphan. (Psalm 10:14)
  • Blessed are the merciful. (Mt. 5:7)
  • Do to others what you would like them to do to you. (Mt. 7:12)
  • Don’t worry about clothes and food. (Mt. 6:25-36)

Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans…  in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you. James 1:27

Today I choose pure and genuine religion. Today I choose to care for children in their distress. Today I refuse to let the world and its earthly thinking corrupt me. So if you are a naysayer, please… SHHH!

May 9, 2013Serena
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Fears About AdoptionA New Mother's Day: Honoring Their Birth Mom
Comments: 17
  1. Sandy
    9 years ago

    I’m praying for you and yours. I’m envious of you, my husband has no desire for more responsibility. I have so much love to give and desire to give that it hurts at times. I agree naysayers be quiet these children need to know that the Father loves them so His children should show them. Loving you both and admiring you both.

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  2. J.J. Woolf
    9 years ago

    Wow!!! What a powerful article! Love your hearts and passion for God. It inspires us to seriously consider God plan for us and to have our eyes open for His will! Love you guys

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  3. Carole Towriss
    9 years ago

    We got all kinds of comments when we adopted. I have a whole list of stupid things people say. One relative walked out of the room when we brought home our first because she was Asian. Don’t listen to anyone but God. Love conquers all. You can’t help but be blessed – all of you.
    James 1:27

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    • Serena
      9 years ago

      Interesting, as I was cleaning and thinking of you, your love of Egyptian history and love for adoption- a question came to my mind. What if Moses adopted mother wouldn’t have considered interracial adoption?

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      • Carole
        9 years ago

        I love it! Heaven knows he and his adoptive “cousins” didn’t get along all the time.

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  4. Rebecca
    9 years ago

    Unfortunately, there will be naysayers in everything you do. This world is so filled with evil that even the smallest beacon of light is a target for it. Keep up the good fight! Who cares about the money, God will provide (We are SO richly blessed in America!), even blood siblings don’t get along all the time, it’s called being a part of a family and learning how to interact with other personality types. Can you handle it?? Of course you can! You have six children, with seven on the way! They are loving, thriving human beings that love the Lord! If it’s too much, or falls apart, or biological family causes some bumps along the way, who cares!?! That’s what builds a strong family unit who you can depend on, a strong foundation. You and Dan are amazing! You give hope and encouragement to those around you and you are building strong Christians for the next generation.

    And, I want you to know you have started a ripple effect. Dewayne and I had been tossing adoption back and forth, we knew our family wasn’t complete, but have just sat idol, waiting for the “right” time. After reading your story, you have encouraged us to start it, you have lit the fire in our hearts. We are in the process of scheduling our own home study and meeting with our lawyer next week to start the process.

    Thank you for your encouragement!

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    • Serena
      9 years ago

      I LOVE IT!! God is so glorified through us imitating him. Many blessings as you begin your journey!!

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  5. Joel Ellis
    9 years ago

    Serena,
    You and Daniel have frankly impressed me for years – and this year just leaves me with nothing but praise and thanksgiving to the Father for your spirit. I shudder at Sandy’s comments above, because I have been that very man she describes, and I have crushed my good wife’s desire to share her tremendous capacity of love. May God forgive me as I seek to find the way to use the time he grants us in this life to not just show, but to live his love to others. Today it is a dark glass, hard to see going into the future, but he is a wonderful Lord and Master who’s will is always pure.
    I have never actually been a true naysayer (having a beautiful adopted daughter), but by the same token I have never been a fully willing servant saying “use me Lord”. I know this because my “logic” has too often negated my wife’s “love”.
    It is wonderful that he gives us hope to purify ourselves in this life seeking to be like him 1 John 3:3.
    God bless you as you live to bring glory to Him, and respond to the opportunities he puts before you.

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  6. Joanna
    9 years ago

    Your story is a beacon of light in many ways and is a wonderful story of how the love of God is working in your life. However, I do not like the negative connotation put on the “naysayers”. Just because people ask questions doesn’t mean they are a naysayer or trying to be a discouragement. I feel the same way that you do in a lot of ways but taking on two children from a completely different background, upbringing, culture, etc does infact present issues and certain realities. I find that when I am sober minded I am on fire for the Lord but at the same time I am human and therefore have imperfections and fall at times. What I mean by that is , sometimes things sound fantastic in theory but the realities are sometimes a big pill to swallow and a lot harder than we think because we are sinners and have faults. So by them asking questions I feel they want to make you fully aware of the responsibility that you are taking on with 2 adoptive children. We can do “all things through Christ” who strengthens us but it doesn’t mean the road is going to be easy. Also sometimes we are so blinded by wanting to do something “we” feel is good that we don’t always think about the others involved. Like a question I would ask myself is “can I give each child the amount of love and attention they deserve”. The reality of the situation is there are only so many hours in the day and the more and more children that are added only take away more and more individual time. So it isn’t all monetary issues. I wouldn’t want to feel I am lacking in giving a child the love and attention it deserves. So when 8 kids are in the mix, I think it is fair to ask some questions. With all that being said, I am not saying, don’t do it, but please be easier on those that may present “concerns” for you. They may be trying to look out for you and the future children as well, sometimes God works through others as well to help guide us. What if there were two people who couldn’t have any children and wanted to adopt? So there is no harm in asking questions. May God’s will be done in all things.

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    • Amber
      9 years ago

      I believe that if you ask any orphan in the world if they would rather have 5 minutes of attention per day in a loving, Christian home with lots of siblings, or be bounced around in foster homes without a family, they would choose option #1. Questions about whether or not Serena and Dan know what they are getting into are discouraging. Of course they know it will be a lot of work! Of course they know it will be emotionally challenging! What if Abraham had decided not to leave his home because it would have been an uncertain, challenging journey? What if Boaz had refused to marry Ruth because she was from a different background and marrying her would present some challenges? The great heroes of faith saw past the difficulties and concentrated on the reward ahead. And God bless Dan and Serena for sacrificing their comfort for the love of two souls.

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  7. Tracy Paxson
    9 years ago

    I admit that I have become a bit of a Serena Stalker! I would love to be a fly on your wall for a day. lol Debby P. gave me a heads up about you before you spoke at a Ladies Getaway earlier this year. I have been a follower ever since. Your love for Christ and jumping in and DOING things has really wowed me! You truly inspire me in my walk with Christ. You are so raw and real and you touch so many lives. These blog posts and facebook updates really help me to check my heart and turn my focus back towards God. Thank you and God Bless you and your growing family!

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  8. Carole
    9 years ago

    We “only” have four children. I must admit our house is truly chaotic most of the time. One of our kids seems to be having some issues with her adoption. Sometimes I look at my friends who have two kids — one of each sex, one for each parent — and wonder if we should have stopped at two: Our kids would have more time with us. They might get along easier and fight less. Would that be better?
    Then again, had we not adopted them, they most likely would never hear the Name of Jesus and would grow up in an orphanage in a country antagonistic to the gospel. Half the kids in our oldest’s baby house died a month after we took her home because a virus went through it, so she is likely to have died.
    All that to say, we can only make the best decision we can, with the information we have at the time and with God’s direction. We won’t do it perfectly, with 2 or 4 or 10. ALl we can do is our best, and love them with our whole heart. God will make up for all the other deficiencies.

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  9. Allison
    9 years ago

    We are also in the midst of the foster/adopt process, and have had a lot of the same comments. But the end of the matter is that kids coming out of the system will have a better chance with us, even in our sometimes strained circumstances, than they will if they either continue in the state system or in the home of someone who doesn’t know the Lord.
    The other thing I have discovered is that not everyone has a heart for adoption or fostering. Its not wrong of them, but for me, it would be wrong for me not to pursue this path. Not everyone can learn to love another person’s child, but I can’t see how I couldn’t love any child that needed love.
    I am so hopeful for you all as you start down this new path in your family journey. You so clearly have the Lord first in your life- He will surely bless you in this.

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    • Serena
      9 years ago

      Taking a moment and praying for your home and your journey.

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  10. Alicia
    9 years ago

    Beautiful

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  11. Michelle
    9 years ago

    Standing ovation!!!!!!! Wonderful words, powerful message, straight from The Word!

    Love it!!

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  12. Kate Cavanaugh
    9 years ago

    Love it, Serena!!! You go, girl!!! God Bless you, Daniel and your family!!!

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Serena
9 years ago 17 Comments Adoption, Christ-followers & Culture, Christian Life, Kids, Motherhoodadoption, faith346
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