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City of Grief

gate

They drew near to the gates of death. Psalm 107:18

Since my son died, I have been granted access into a sacred world. The world of parents that bury their children. I always knew before that I lived on the outside of the gates. I felt it with every interaction I had with a mother who lost her child. I wasn’t in that world. And I really didn’t want to be.

But now, in my short time as a citizen of this community I have learned, we don’t want words of comfort from people who fain understanding.  We don’t want to be told what we “should” do or how we “should” feel. We don’t want people who don’t live here to say “I can’t image your pain.” The truth is we can’t imagine the pain either. But it is where we dwell. This is where our citizenship now lies.

And so, since divine authority granted me access into this world, as a fellow citizen, I feel I must speak divine  truth to its people.

Since I have been in this world I see mothers who boldly reject the idea of loving God. I have met mothers who run into the bed of a man rather than into the arms of a holy Jesus. I have met mothers who serve themselves and feed their whims rather than see the pain in their husbands or their children. I have met mothers who give lip service to Jesus and beg for his healing while rejecting his call to give up everything and follow him.

I have met you face to face. I have cried with you. I have held you in my arms.  I have agonized with you. I have brought your name to the throne of God even when you didn’t want me to.

And today, I tell you with all the life and love that is my body, you will never heal apart from your Creator. You will never find peace in your quiet moments without serving the God of the Holy Scriptures. Your pain will only multiply the longer you run from him.

Today, stop worshiping your fear, your anger, your doubt, and your grief. Yes, you live in the City of Grief. I do too. And what I have seen with my own eyes, is God lives here too.

His arms are out stretched. His voice is calling. Drop what you are doing. And run. Run to him.

 Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.

Apr 4, 2013Serena
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Comments: 3
  1. Rhonda
    9 years ago

    I say you should run for mayor of the city of Grief. 🙂 I love you.

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  2. Hayley
    9 years ago

    I wholeheartedly agree with what you have written here. I do not wish to be a citizen of this community but, despite that, I am. I appreciate your thoughts and while our circumstances are a bit different, I know a similar ache in my heart. The only one who can offer us some comfort is our Savior. I have learned that at every turn throughout this process. Love your heart and wish you peace in the days, weeks, months and years ahead.

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  3. Paul Thrower
    9 years ago

    I too am a “citizen” of this community, and having walked its streets I know that there are no “short-cuts” to being healed inside. What I do know is that heaven looks the brightest through tear filled eyes, and 1 Corinthians 15 (the resurrection chapter) has a significance that I could never have quite seen the same way before losing a daughter. Holding Stephanie’s lifeless shell (her body) I knew that death had not hurt ‘her’ – she lives with Yahweh in bliss that I can only imagine. Her body no longer gave her pain because she is free. The reality of resurrection is more palpable, but so also is the reminder of pain for those who experience the same loss. And, as Serena has stated well already, I have a little ‘taste’ of what God must have felt to allow Yeshua to go through His horrible death; I, however, was spared the horror because those who dealt with my daughter worked to help her and save her life; God watched His innocent Lamb be brutalized and tortured well before He even got to Golgotha! And so, with Dan & Serena, I too say, “why not me?”, and I remember the amazing faith of Job who said, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him” Job 15:13. I would like to say that I have arrived at that point in faith but I have a long way to go, and I give Yahweh praise through Yeshua our Messiah for His longsuffering toward me!

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Serena
9 years ago 3 Comments Christ-followers & Culture, Christian Life, Death and Dyinggrief, healing only in God250
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