An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:10-12
Someone recently asked me, “So how DO you build up your husband?” I throw that phrase around a lot, “Build him up.” But that question made me stop and think. So this week I’m going to dig into the how-to’s of encouraging our men.
There’s a lot of books out there flooding us with information on do THIS and don’t do THAT when it comes to marriage. You can get all the steps right, but if you don’t understand the heart of a man it will fall flat on its face. The proverb says, “the heart of her husband trusts her.” We need to find our husband’s heart again.
This is where it starts. With the creation of Adam. The heart of man. When God created Adam he passed on his image of strength and courage to Adam. He called on Adam to take charge of creation. Adam did. But we know something was missing. Eve was missing.
Things were good. No things were great. It was total perfection.
Then evil entered the garden. Eve was persuaded. Adam turned his back on strength and courage. Adam went limp. He just stood and watched his wife be seduced by another man. He didn’t speak. He didn’t fight. He just ate. Then he hid.
Isn’t that the story of all men? They have a question burning inside of them, “Do I have what it takes?” They want to know if they are the real deal. But the problem is, as John Eldredge puts it, “Every man is wounded. As he was growing up, he looked to his father to answer his Question. The result was often devastating.” The results are devastating when Adam gets the answer to his question, “No, you don’t have what it takes.” In that moment, Adam is paralyzed by his fear of failure.
Somewhere along the line your man has experienced a hurt or a failure that told him he didn’t have what it takes. So just like Adam, he hid. He may still be hiding behind his work, his sports, his games or other women. He is hiding because it feels safer than facing the fear.
Like Adam, your husband has to go to his Father to redeem the mess he is in. Your husband needs Jesus to tell him he most certainly does have what it takes.
I hope you follow me on this journey this week. Let’s start today. Pray for your husband to get his questioned answered. For him to hear from his Creator and his Savior, “YOU have what it takes.”
Lord God,
My husband is burdened with so many layers of hurt and wounds and sin. Please remove each layer and uncover his heart, his true heart. Prepare me to be a woman who his heart can trust. Speak truth to my husband. He is strength. He is courage. He does have what it takes. Rise up in my husband a warrior. Let him take up arms to fight for me, to fight for our home, our children, our church and our community. Give him a passion to bear your image today.
In the name of Almighty Jesus,
Amen
Follow Up Post: Build Him Up: Respect
