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Fate. Fireworks. Ever after.
Our Wedding Day 11-8-1997
Yeah, that’s right, we had clowns at our wedding. And yes, that is a balloon bouquet.
I was so anxious to BE married that I was ready to leave the reception after about 15 minutes.
Once my husband and I got past the introduction stage of our relationship, we were pretty passionate. Like all night phone calls before the age of no long distance passion. We were talking marriage within a couple of months. Five months later were engaged. Three months later we were married.
Before I got married there are some things that I wish I would have known, or at least been warned of. I was so dreadfully unprepared for the next steps that it almost sank us.
I wish I would have known:
Passion doesn’t last long
I didn’t know how quickly the fires of premarital passion would be extinguished by daily duties, arguments and disappointment. I thought something was wrong with us, like really wrong. I had no idea that this happened to anyone else after they got married. I envisioned spicy hot at least through our twenties. I wish my expectations would have been realistic.
He isn’t my dream come true
Oh boy did I put a lot of pressure on my husband to fulfill my dreams and to fulfill me. I wish I wouldn’t have expected him to validate me. I wish I wouldn’t have believed that he was a failure because he couldn’t. I wish I wouldn’t have made him my god. I wish I would have known that God is enough. I wish I would have rested confidently in Jesus.
My husband is a sinner
If I would have just remembered that he was a sinner, my expectation of perfection would have been replaced with grace.
He needs help
From the first day of creation God recognized Adam’s need for help. My husband is no different. He needed help. He needed my help, not just around the house, but emotionally and spiritually. My husband needed my prayers of support. My husband needed my extension of mercy. My husband needed to hear God’s words of life coming from my lips. I wish I would have realized God’s plan was to minister to Daniel through me.
I am a sinner
I knew I WAS a sinner. I didn’t know I AM a sinner. I didn’t know how prone I was to selfishness and pride. I didn’t know how stubborn and rebellious my spirit was. I didn’t know how reluctant I was to offer an apology or admit my wrongs. I spent a lot of time denying, justifying and defending when I should have been repenting.
Whether you are engaged, newly married or hitting the restart button on your marriage. May this be your union today:
Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.
Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father. (from Col. 3)
