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4 Easy Steps to Becoming the Ideal Christian Woman

The real ornament of woman is her character, her purity. – Gandhi 

 

The Myth of the Ideal Christian Woman is a perception that is softly killing the spirits of many Christ following women.  I’m afraid we have carved an idol out of the woman found in Proverbs 31. We name our ministries after her. We teach half of our women’s bible studies about her. We call a good woman “a real Proverbs 31 woman.” I can’t think of any other biblical people we do that with. I don’t hear a lot of people say “You’re a real Joshua 2 kind of woman. “

In doing so, we have caused many women who don’t have the Proverbs 31 gifts or skill set to feel like failures. We have mythologized a woman who may not have actually existed.

Oh, we modernized her some. I mean good Christian women throw good parties, bake their own bread, have dinner on the table every night, keep a tidy, well-decorated house, have well-behaved children and happy husbands, volunteer at school and are always on time with make-up on. Right?

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So if that’s it, why are good, godly women struggling with feelings of worthlessness, insecurity and self-doubt? Why do our spirits feel restless? Why are we discontent at the end of the day?

Because we are trying to be someone who we aren’t. Mrs. Proverbs 31 is a righteous lady! But she is not me. And I don’t have to be her. And I don’t think you have to be her either.

So if I’m not her, Who Am I?  Well, I can only take my identity crisis to one place. My Creator. I can only use the gifts he has given me. I can only bear fruit from the seeds he has planted.

And so what we have to see sisters, is that we don’t have to be anyone else. You just have to be you. But be the best you that you can be. Fulfill the calling that God placed within you. You are a unique image bearer of the Almighty. He put a piece of himself in you that only you can shine. That. Is. Amazing. 

As women, some of us work outside the home but some are homemakers. Some of us are college educated but some are not. Some of us are married and some are single. Some have one child some have six. And that’s OK!

The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ…  But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same Spirit…

But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it. How strange a body would be if it had only one part! Yes, there are many parts, but only one body. The eye can never say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” The head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you.” In fact, some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary. And the parts we regard as less honorable are those we clothe with the greatest care. So we carefully protect those parts that should not be seen, while the more honorable parts do not require this special care.

So God has put the body together such that extra honor and care are given to those parts that have less dignity. This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other. If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad. All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it. (From 1 Cor. 12)

When you accept where God has put you, you won’t strive to get somewhere else. When you know he is pleased with you, you won’t seek other people’s approval. When you value your gifts, you won’t have to compete with other people. When you give your to-do list to the Lord, you won’t feel guilty for all the things you didn’t get done. When your worth comes from the Father of Lights, you will know you are priceless.

So here’s your 4 easy steps:

  • Let him lead.
  • Embrace where you are.
  • Embrace who you are.
  • Shine your light.

Because the Ideal Christian Woman is you.

The challenges we face are far less about our marital status, number of children or career path, and more about being where God wants us, letting him direct our steps and giving control over to him. It’s about being just who you are. A woman of God.

Now shine for him. In your glorious imperfections. Shine. In your chaotic life. Shine. In your disappointments. Shine. In your weariness. Shine. In your dreams. Shine. In your purpose. Shine. In all your fullness. Shine!

You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. -Jesus the Christ

 

 

Apr 16, 2014Serena
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The Myth of the Ideal Christian Woman... Who Am I?How Good Sex Can Change the World
Comments: 10
  1. Joan
    8 years ago

    So timely for me, as I go into another season of my life. My husband and I are working on opening a healing clinic for special needs children and their families. I feel God has blessed me with the gift of healing and has given me an opportunity within a clinic to minister to hurting children and their families. Thanks for indirectly supporting this dream in the validation that God is using me in this way and that I can use my gifts to bring Him glory in this way. We press on and use the haters as elevators!!! 🙂

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    • Serena
      8 years ago

      RIGHT ON!!

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  2. Rachael T.
    8 years ago

    So so so true. This is spot on how I’ve felt reading Proverbs 31 at times, and many times I have asked myself why I couldn’t be more like that woman. And yes, striving for that kind of perfection is depressing. I have always had self-esteem issues, but when I realize that God expects me to do the best I can for Him, and that when I fail to go to Him, that is a comfort. I just hope I can one day set an example to others (including my possible future children) of how God expects a Christian woman to live. Sure I may fail, but as someone once wisely said “failure isn’t falling down; it’s staying down. I have to make my mind up that ultimately I will not stay down. Even if I sink temporarily, I won’t drown. I am healing from a lot of things now, (and am on antidepressants as well), so this is a great reminder for me that I don’t need to be perfect, I just need to try my best at whatever I do, and accept the fact that sometimes I will fall, but that’s ok as long as I get back up again. Thank you for this wonderful, positive message to me. God bless!

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    • Serena
      8 years ago

      I love that!

      ReplyCancel
  3. Beth Beauchamp
    8 years ago

    A friend of mine just posted a link to your website via Facebook. I look forward to reading future posts. Thank you for sharing.

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    • Serena
      8 years ago

      Thanks!!

      ReplyCancel
  4. Beckye
    8 years ago

    Thank you for this. We as Christians have placed unnecessary burdens on women, demanding a one size fits all cloak of Godliness. We should embrace our different gifts and talents, allowing God to use us to his glory.

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  5. Brooke
    8 years ago

    Another thing to remember is that. Proverbs 31 was written in the context of a father (King Lemuel) talking to his son about kind of woman he ought to be looking for. A woman fit for a prince.

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  6. Megan
    8 years ago

    THANK YOU!! I along with the other women posting here struggle with loving me for who I am. My boyfriend and I were talking just a couple of days ago how I put myself up against an impossible measurement of what a Christian woman, wife and mother should be. I will never be the woman that I have in my head should be all these things because I am NOT her. My boyfriend found this post for me today and it has been a blessing to read and I look forward to more. Again, thank you for reminding us to accept us as God created us!

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  7. Harold Ballinger
    8 years ago

    I cannot thank you enough for your blog. This post and the one about amazing Christian sex between a wife and husband are great and true. Thank you so much for letting the truth of the Word of the Lord flow through you!

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Serena
8 years ago 10 Comments Kids, Marriage, Motherhood, Self-image, Singlehood, Submission in Marriage, Uncategorized, Wife, Womanhoodchristian woman, godly woman, proverbs 312,334
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