Oh ladies, this is dedicated to all of you good girls who are looking for a good man. They are out there. I promise. The good ones are looking for a good woman. But girls, sometimes, we are the deal breaker for them. I know I was. I had a complete bag of tricks to scare, repel and deter the best of men. If you want a guy to run, this is what you do.
1. Be desperate
Infatuation is fun. I remember. But if you find yourself calling to tell him you miss him when you go to the grocery store, you may be a little too needy. Girls, we are a vast well of emotion. Really vast. A good man standing at the edge of that well gets a little freaked out by the thought of wading in the deep. He knows to his core that he can’t fill that space. There is only one thing that can fill us. That is our Creator. Find your validation in Him and you will be a God-send to a good man.
Oh, how generous and gracious our Lord was! He filled me with the faith and love that come from Christ Jesus. 1 Tim 1:14
2. Be too independent
Guys don’t want a needy girl, but they also don’t want a girl who seems to have no need for them at all. You don’t have to play damsel in distress, but asking him to open jars and slay dragons for you goes a long way. Call out the man in him instead of the man in yourself.
Remember the Lord, who is great and glorious, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your homes! Neh. 4:14
3. Nag & Complain
You are too hot, too cold, too uncomfortable or too bored. You don’t like his mother, his pants or his job. You are irritated by the neighbors, the people at church or grocery store cashier. You honk your horn in the drive-thru line or the car pool lane. If that’s you, honey, you need to start looking at the bright side of life. No body wants to be in the same room with that let alone be married to it.
Better to live in a wilderness than in a house with a contentious and angry woman. Prov. 21:19
4. Mock him
Whether its to his face or to a crowd of huddled women, don’t make fun of a good man. He is a good man who deserves respect not your passive aggressive criticisms that are passed off as “just joking.” Don’t tell people things that embarrass him or make him look stupid. Let your man be respected by others because he is respected by you.
Her husband is greatly respected when he deliberates with the city fathers. Prov. 31:23 MSG
5. Be vain
Pampered princess is not at the top of any good man’s “must-have” list. If you spend more time in the mirror than you do in personal reflection, bible study or prayer you are misplacing your priorities. Stop thinking carnal beauty and start thinking eternal glory.
Charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Prov. 31:30
6. Blab
Do not, I repeat DO NOT, report his mistakes or your fights to your gaggle of girlfriends. And under no circumstances should you ever blab to your mom and sisters. If you have a propensity to pick up the phone after he irritates you or hurts your feelings, stop! Keep your business between the two of you. When you need relationship advice seek spiritual and pastoral counseling.
The heart of her husband trusts in her. Prov. 31:11
7. Be too sensitive
Water under the bridge or off a ducks back. Whatever! Let things slide. Get some grit. Forgive. Stop letting so many things hurt your feelings. Stop being controlled by your emotions. There truly is more to life than how you feel.
The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is? Jer. 17:9
8. Try to fix him
You got what you got. He’s not a hobby or a project. You are not getting graded on this. How good he turns out isn’t up to you. That is strictly between him and God. You have to fight the urge to fix and control and let God do the repair work.
You will desire to control your husband. Gen 3:16
9. Keep secrets
Past, present or future, be honest about everything. From old boyfriends to how much your dress cost, tell him the truth. Always.
Don’t lie to each other, for you have stripped off your old sinful nature and all its wicked deeds. Col. 3:9
10. Mother him
He is not your child. He is not a little boy. He is your hero. Treat him accordingly.
This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They trusted God and accepted the authority of their husbands. 1 Peter 3:5
Girls, resolve now to be blessing to a good man. Remember your created purpose. God said, “I will create a companion for him, a perfectly suited partner” (Gen 2:18). Pray yourself into being a perfectly suited partner.
And if you are married already and aren’t living up to your calling, it’s OK, you can start a new journey today to be an amazing woman of God and perfect partner for your man.
