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10 Stupid Things Women Do To Screw Up Their Marriage

husband-wife

Girls, here you are. Struggling with a ho-hum marriage routine and a barely-there love life. It is easy to blame the hubs for all your marriage woes. But ladies, let’s be honest. There are things we do to screw up our marital bliss. Here’s a few.

Expect him to make you happy.

Any good, brave man who stands at the shores of that which is woman, and feels the slightest expectation to fill that ocean, will run! Do you hear me girls? He is going to hoof it in the opposite direction as fast as his Nikes will let him.

You can’t expect him to make you happy because he simply can’t. It isn’t his job. It isn’t why he was created. If he feels like you expect it he is going to bail emotionally or bail in real life.

Be a baby.

Stop your whining. God’s women have grit. God’s women don’t whine and complain. They get up and get things done.

  • Jochebed hid Moses under the radar of the Egyptian guard.
  • Deborah went into battle for Israel right beside the soldiers.
  • Esther, in a game of high stakes espionage, risked her life to save her countrymen.

Expect him to do women’s work.

I am about to say the most non-21st century thing ever. There is men’s work and there is women’s work. The evidence is in the DNA. God made men with a lot more muscle and he made us with a lot more fluff.

My husband isn’t opposed to doing a little laundry and cleaning the kitchen. He has certainly done his fair share of diaper duty. But, it is not his obligation. Just like I prefer for him to go plunge toilets and gut deer, he prefers me to nurse the babies.

Don’t expect your man to do women’s work and don’t get mad at him when he doesn’t.

Mother him.

He has one and there is a reason he didn’t marry her.

He doesn’t need you to tell him to be careful, wear a jacket and not to run with scissors.

Your man needs you to use that grit to fight along side him. He needs you to be his confidant and secret keeper. He needs you to be his lover. He needs you to be his cheerleader. He needs you to be his wife.

Nag him.

I know they need us to help them navigate the finer details of life, like getting urine in the toilet and dirty underwear off the kitchen table, but there is a fine line between suggesting and berating.

Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife. Proverbs 21:19

Go the way of the frump.

Remember how you used to dress up before your boyfriend came to pick you up? Remember how you changed outfits three times, primped your hair again and again and made sure you put on more lipstick when he pulled in the driveway.

Then you married him and became this.

frump

Mom trumps wife

I get it. Crying babies need their mommy, but you were wife before mom. You will be wife after mom too.

Use sex to control him.

After this he loved a woman in the Valley of Sorek, whose name was Delilah. And the lords of the Philistines came up to her and said to her, “Seduce him, and see where his great strength lies, and by what means we may overpower him, that we may bind him to humble him. And we will each give you 1,100 pieces of silver.” Judges 16:4-5

Yes, it has been done for a long, long time. We give it and we deny with ulterior motives. Don’t.

Keep secrets from him.

Garden living was all about being naked and not ashamed. There was nothing held back in Eden. There was no hiding, no covering, no avoiding the truth.

Be naked and not ashamed with how much money you spend to who you talk with on Facebook.

Leave him.

One of my friends posted this the other other day on his page:

In the Marines we had a commitment to each other- We will NEVER leave you! No One gets left behind! The world would be a much different place if we lived by this simple commitment. Semper Fi Marines

What if the Sisterhood of the Fellowship of Wives held each other to this kind of standard?

Don’t leave your husband behind. Don’t leave him alone in his isolating pride. Don’t leave him in his memory numbing drunkenness. Don’t leave him in his ignorance, his anger or his failure. When he is knocked down, go back for him. Fight for him. Drag him to safety. Care him back to health.

 “With Christ in us and the Holy Spirit transforming us, we really have no excuse for continuing immaturity.”
― Gary L. Thomas, Sacred Influence: How God Uses Wives to Shape the Souls of Their Husbands
Feb 6, 2015Serena
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Roadmap Genesis: Take the Challenge10 Stupid Things Men Do To Screw Up Their Marriage
Comments: 20
  1. AJ
    7 years ago

    This is only possible if we realize that we already have every single thing we need in Jesus Christ, no matter what kinds of husband s wet have. We will never outgrow the gospel. In order to be able to do the things in this blog post, we must saturate ourselves in the gospel and remember that it is His work and His Spirit in us and through us that empowers this kind of love and devotion. <3

    ReplyCancel
    • Alex
      7 years ago

      Actually, you can outgrow the gospel. It’s called getting an education.

      ReplyCancel
      • Serena
        7 years ago

        Alex, I’m not sure why you hate faith and people of faith. Obviously this is a place where people of faith gather. As the owner of the site, I ask you to show respect whether or not you agree with us or not.

        ReplyCancel
        • Serena
          7 years ago

          And I must add, that I am educated and I have not outgrown the gospel. In fact, my dependence on the gospel of Jesus Christ has carried me through the death of my own child. I believe in Jesus. I believe in the resurrection. I believe in eternal life. You don’t have to believe that just like you don’t have to come here and insult those of us who do.

          ReplyCancel
          • Anjie
            7 years ago

            Amen!

            ReplyCancel
    • Anjie
      7 years ago

      Nicely said and very true!

      ReplyCancel
  2. Ken Sils
    7 years ago

    Those were very wise comments and may many of our sisters take those words to heart. Both the husband and the wife need to work on their marriages so love for one another may flourish. Often in wedding lessons, I try to make the point that marriage is not 50/50 but it’s 100/100 – meaning, you need to work on being the best spouse you can be… 100%! Be the type of husband where she would never want to leave you… be the type of wife where he would never want to stray!!! Thank you – good thoughts!

    ReplyCancel
    • Anjie
      7 years ago

      Amen!

      ReplyCancel
  3. Alex
    7 years ago

    The more of your articles I read, the more disgusted I am by you. You are helping aid misogyny, homophobia, and transphobia in this world. You are ruining lives with the awful, sickening things you say. Do everyone a favor and keep your thousand-year-old beliefs to yourself.

    ReplyCancel
  4. Dan
    7 years ago

    Alex,
    If you are interested in having a substantial, educated conversation then make your points. I’m waiting..

    ReplyCancel
    • Wendy
      7 years ago

      1PE 4:14 NKJV
      If you are reproached for the name of Christ, blessed are you, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you. On their part He is blasphemed, but on your part He is glorified.

      ReplyCancel
      • Serena
        7 years ago

        <3

        ReplyCancel
  5. AJ
    7 years ago

    Btw, Serena. Thank you. I needed that. <3 Don't listen to the hate-uhs. 😉

    ReplyCancel
  6. Lori
    7 years ago

    Such good points. I pray your words will reach hearts that are stuck in tragedy-in-the-making self-centeredness. Now I’m off to apply to myself, because all of us are capable of making tragedies…

    ReplyCancel
    • Anjie
      7 years ago

      Amen!
      I Corinthian10:13 “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”

      ReplyCancel
  7. Paul
    7 years ago

    Your points are, as so often, amazing, and in my present frame of mind I even teared up on a few points, especially the statements following, “Don’t leave your husband behind”…
    I commend your bravery to make posts that go counter-culture because they are true, and many a heart are screaming to have such statements made known (mine is!).

    ReplyCancel
    • Serena
      7 years ago

      Thank you.

      ReplyCancel
  8. Anjie
    7 years ago

    It takes courage and boldness to admit our faults. It’s freeing and it helps to improve myself. Thank you. 🙂

    ReplyCancel
  9. KJ
    4 years ago

    You are one of the reasons women stay so oppressed in today’s society. If my husband didn’t want to make me happy why would I ever want to make him happy. This is so misogynistic and the fact you’ve even written about sexual abuse or harassment is ironic as writing posts such as these opens the door for men to think it’s ok. Wake up lady.

    ReplyCancel
    • Serena
      3 years ago

      I’m not sure I understand how this relates to the post.

      ReplyCancel

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Serena
7 years ago 21 Comments Marriage, Uncategorized, Wifemarriage, wife11,113
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