Sunday morning as my husband preached about the faith of a man named Jairus, my heart was tormented. You see, this man had a child who was dying. He was desperate. He called on Jesus. His daughter lived.
The night my son died I was desperate. I called on Jesus. I called and called. I cried out his name over and over again. Yet, my son was buried a few days later.
- Why didn’t Jesus pick me for a miracle?
- Do I lack in faith?
- Is something wrong with me that Jesus didn’t change my destiny that night?
All day this ran through my head. I sat down at my desk at night and just asked God one thing. “Show me why.”
For the church
Just as Jesus and Paul’s’ suffering blessed the church, so will mine.
I am glad when I suffer for you in my body, for I am participating in the sufferings of Christ that continue for his body, the church. God has given me the responsibility of serving his church by proclaiming his entire message to you. Col. 2:24-25
So I can experience the power of Christ
The power of Jesus that I experience is proportional to amount of my suffering.
I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead! Phil.3: 10-11
For the best
His power works the best when I am powerless.
“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 2 Cor. 12:9
God has poured comfort on me. He has spilled grace into my soul. Now I am asked to shower it on other suffers.
He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. 2 Cor 1:4-5
Some days I am acutely aware that I cannot breathe without him.
But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead. 2 Cor. 1:9
My Real Life
Show me what’s real. This is my fake life. My real one is just around the corner.
Set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand. Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth… your real life is hidden with Christ in God. Col. 3: 1-3
While my flesh is torn, my soul is at rest. Jesus didn’t pick Azaiah for a miracle. He didn’t answer my plea to restore his life. But he did pick me. He used my son to put on a show through my life. Because the truth is, I am standing, I am praising, I am living, and that is a miracle.