Let there be no sexual immorality or impurity… Such sins have no place among God’s people. Eph. 5:3
Several weeks ago I brought a series on Sex in Marriage.
- What Husbands Wish Their Wives Knew About Sex
- What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Sex
- Kids and Sex: Can You Have Both?
Through that process, I received some genuine responses of women who deeply desire sexual purity in their life and openness in their marriages but they are suffering in bondage to the effects of sexual abuse. The enemy of their soul has taken them captive through the horror of molestation, rape and incest.
Today I want to start talking about that last one. Incest. Some studies suggest that 27% of American families are affected by incest. In my work among God’s people I would say that number is quite accurate within the church us as well.
Incest is among us. And we are good at it. We hide it well. We don’t speak of if. We don’t deal with it. We allow it to be swept under the church rug. The predators remain broken and threatening. The victims carry their shame and guilt- unhealed. And Jesus is never invited to do what He does best- redeem.
Today I want to start sharing a series from a guest writer who is opening her heart and life as an incest survivor. It is my hope to sound the battle cry, to open our eyes to this sexual sin that is most likely happening among your fellowship and maybe even in your family. Prepare yourself. This will be uncomfortable.
God Gave Me This Mouth, So Why Can’t I Get This Muzzle Off!
A Muzzle is defined “as a fastening or covering for the mouth of an animal used to prevent eating or biting.”
When I hear the word or phrase muzzle or being muzzled, most often I think of animals that are out of control. For me it was different. I was muzzled, not because I was out of control but to be controlled. It was not a physical muzzle that anyone could see, oh how much easier that would have been if someone would have seen the muzzle, but I had a muzzle no less devastating, humiliating, painful and destructive.
They muzzled me when I was a young girl of three or four years old. That’s when I first remember it. My biological dad sexually abused me.
I thought it was normal. Until one day my biological mother found me undressed with a little boy, getting ready to take a bath. She beat me. Then she questioned me. “WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?” In my innocence I replied, “Daddy has me.”
That day is a blur to me, like a slow-moving old timey black and white horror movie that plays in my mind. She sent him in to “speak” with me. He beat me… with a belt. “What you’ve done is evil!” He beat down my body and my spirit that day. I learned that day I was a bad little girl.
He said he forgave me. He said we would never speak of my wrong again. I submitted. At his command, I never spoke of “what I had done to him” that day. He convinced me of my wrong and I willingly put that muzzle on.
The next day he was in the pulpit smiling and being the charismatic man he was…
Tomorrow, the effects of silence.