A couple of years ago I heard Lisa Whelchel (she’s famous for playing Blair on Facts of Life) speak at a Women of Faith event. Today I read that she is divorced from her husband and commented to People Magazine, “I never thought divorce would happen to me. But Steve is still my best friend. We just couldn’t be married.”
I cannot judge Lisa or the circumstances she is in, but the truth is , from a far, this makes me sad. It is sad to see a woman of influence who has an audience of millions say things that clearly aren’t words of life. It makes me sad that believers have adopted such a blase attitude toward covenant breaking. It makes me sad that children of God have forgotten what the holy scripture actually says about divorce.
Divorce doesn’t just “happen.” Divorce is a choice we make. Sometimes the circumstances are beyond our control, but it never just happens. Can God’s grace cover divorce? I believe it absolutely can. But should we toss out the commandments of the Almighty so grace can cover us? NEVER! (Rom. 6:1-2).
Many Christians have fallen into the enemy’s trap, “We just COULDN’T be married.” I’m afraid that’s a lie that is penetrating countless hearts. When we make vows to man and God there is never a “couldn’t” involved. God promises to equip us to fulfill every good work he has called us to (2 Tim 3:17). And how do I know it’s a lie? Because the Creator of marriage has something much different to say.
So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.
“At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.
You cry out, “Why doesn’t the Lord accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the Lord witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows.
Didn’t the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his… So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth. “For I hate divorce!” says the Lord, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.”
So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.
By law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive…
You make vows and break them…
“Now this is what the Sovereign Lord says: I will give you what you deserve, for you have taken your solemn vows lightly by breaking your covenant.
For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church.
Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage.
I will give myself to prayer for marriages today among believers. How can we save others when we can’t save ourselves? Let’s get back to opening the ancient book of God and restore his ways among his people. Let’s honor the covenant of marriage as it bears of image of a holy and righteous God, who alone is good. (See 2 Chronicles 34.)