As he approaches his next birthday he wonders what exactly he’s accomplished during his life.
His career is floundering.
He lost interest in his marriage and his wife a long time ago.
He’d rather sit at his computer than read bedtime stories to his kids.
He escapes on the internet where he can be someone else. Someone who is a real man.
Jesus promised a life that is abundant, but there’s a lot of men who claim Christianity who feel like their career, marriage and family is anything but abundant. These men are occupying space in the house but not in the hearts of their family. They find solace in overtime, video games or the arms of another woman. It is easier to disconnect than deal with it. So they withdraw. They quit their family.
We have a generation of fatherless men. Even if their dads were in the home, they weren’t really present in the lives of their sons. These men were never shown how to be men. Their dads never patted them on the back, never made them feel like they could do anything and never really believed in them. Their dad’s never lit the fire in their spirit.
How different would it be if these same men had father’s who were amazed by them?
His father [was] amazed at the things which were being said about Him. Luke 2:33
In Jesus’ church, men have abdicated their leadership. They have forgone teaching, mentoring and training the young men in their spiritual family. Our husbands have been left to navigate the deep waters of masculinity alone.
In the same way, encourage the young men to live wisely. And you yourself must be an example to them by doing good works of every kind. Let everything you do reflect the integrity and seriousness of your teaching. Titus 2:6-7
Fear of failure
Instead of facing the possibility of not being enough, they don’t even try. Even the chance of not being man enough for the job of husband and father is paralyzing. It feels safer to just not try.
But Moses protested to God, “Who am I to appear before Pharaoh? Who am I to lead the people of Israel out of Egypt?” God answered, “I will be with you.” Ex. 3:11-12
His wife’s incessant reminders of his failures made him check out a long time ago.
- We need more money.
- The bills are piling up.
- The garbage needs to go out.
- I need more time from you.
- The kids need more time from you.
These may seem benign, but to an already wounded man, they are acid to soul. They are reminders that he isn’t a good enough provider. He isn’t a good enough husband. He isn’t a good enough father.
A quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping on a rainy day. Prov. 27:15
Our men have been stranded in a purgatory of boyhood. They hear the voice of their fathers chiding, “You can’t do it.” He believes he can’t. So he doesn’t.
But just like Moses, standing at the precipice of a civil war and revolution against the greatest world power in existences, God answers, “I will be with you.” Men, he is with you too. Women, love him, support him and pray that he sees that with God he’s got this.