Proverbs 31:26
To finish up the week on parenting I had to share TobyMac’s new song on family. It is worth fighting for.
The first four posts in this series are:
Yesterday, through some pretty amazing circumstances, God led me to write about addiction in, Jesus is Calling: What Every Addict Needs to Know. Today I want to talk to the families of the addict. This letter from an addict to her family is found in Nar-Anon material.
AN OPEN LETTER TO MY FAMILY
I am a drug addict. I need help — from a doctor, a psychologist, a counselor, from an addict who found recovery in Narcotics Anonymous, and from God.
Don’t solve my problems for me. This only makes me lose respect for you.
Don’t lecture, moralize, scold, blame, or argue — whether I’m loaded or not. It may make you feel better, but it will make the situation worse.Don’t accept my promises. The nature of my illness prevents me from keeping them, even though I mean them at the time. Promises are my only way of postponing pain. Don’t keep switching agreements; if an agreement is made — stick to it.
Don’t lose your temper with me. It will destroy you and any possibility of helping me.Don’t allow your anxiety for me — make you do what I should do for myself
Don’t cover up or try to spare me the consequences of my using. It may reduce the crisis, but it will make my illness worse.
Above all, don’t run away from reality as I do. Drug dependence, my illness, gets worse as the using continues. Start now to learn, to understand, to plan for recovery. Find Nar-Anon, whose groups exist to help the families of drug-abusers.God,
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Some things I think every family member of an addict should know:
1. You cannot save your child, spouse or parent from their addiction. Only God can save.
My wayward children,” says the Lord, “come back to me, and I will heal your wayward hearts.” “Yes, we’re coming,” the people reply, “for you are the Lord our God. Our worship of idols on the hills and our religious orgies on the mountains are a delusion. Only in the Lord our God will Israel ever find salvation. From childhood we have watched as everything our ancestors worked for—their flocks and herds, their sons and daughters—was squandered on a delusion. Jer. 3:22-24
2. You must set boundaries and tell your loved one “No.”
They know God’s justice requires that those who do these things deserve to die, yet they do them anyway. Worse yet, they encourage others to do them, too. Rom. 1:32
3. You must let the natural consequences of their actions play out. Stop protecting them from the consequences of their addiction.
What sorrow for those who get up early in the morning looking for a drink of alcohol and spend long evenings drinking wine to make themselves flaming drunk. Is. 5:11
4. Your loved one cannot see truth while they are still using.
Satan, who is the god of this world, has blinded the minds of those who don’t believe. They are unable to see the glorious light of the Good News. They don’t understand this message about the glory of Christ, who is the exact likeness of God. 2 Cor. 4:4
5. Let go of resentment. Forgive.
Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience… forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Co. 3:12-13
6. Remember, they are lost and need rescued.
My dear brothers and sisters, if someone among you wanders away from the truth and is brought back, you can be sure that whoever brings the sinner back will save that person from death and bring about the forgiveness of many sins. Jam. 5:19-20
7. The Lord desires their salvation and so should you.
But do not let this one fact escape your notice, beloved, that with the Lord one day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years like one day. The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance. 2 Pet. 3:8-9
Dear Father,
Today, please God, put your hand of comfort and your shield of protection on the families that are being ripped apart by addiction. There children weeping for their parents. Husband’s longing for the return of their wife. Mother’s arms yearning to hold their children again. Please God, remove the grip Satan has. He has these addicts in a choke hold through the power of drugs. By whatever means necessary, destroy his power. Redeem the lost and restore the broken families. In Jesus Name. Amen.
Reposting from May 10, 2012
These T-shirts dot many gay/lesbian events. I absolutely agree with it. I believe ,“For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.”
Yesterday our president came out in support of gay marriage. This sort of high-profile boost bolsters the cause no doubt. Many in the Christian community have emotional reactions to such a “slap in the face” to our perceived moral society. So where should the true Christ-follower stand?
We should stand in favor of homosexuals, of course! We should be living among them. We should love them, support them, and yes, tell them the truth. I know people I love are gay. I also know that some of them believe that it’s ok. Some of my friends do go to the scripture to defend their lifestyle. Part of loving, I believe, is being truthful even when it hurts or goes against the opinion of your family or close friends.
I suppose the first step is deciding whether or not you trust and honor the Word of God. I do. I believe it is infallible because the God who created and sustains the universe is certainly able to preserve a book.
All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. 2 Tim.3:16
So does the Word support homosexuality? Much of the theology behind pro-gay teaching, to me, lacks one fundamental- common sense. I don’t want to be harsh, but most of the time the bible just means what it says. When we try to perform scriptural gymnastics to prove a point, we risk missing the simple message. We miss what the words are actually saying. The Apostle Paul dealt plainly with homosexuality.
But God shows his anger from heaven against all sinful, wicked people who suppress the truth by their wickedness.They know the truth about God because he has made it obvious to them. For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God.
Yes, they knew God, but they wouldn’t worship him as God or even give him thanks. And they began to think up foolish ideas of what God was like. As a result, their minds became dark and confused. Claiming to be wise, they instead became utter fools. And instead of worshiping the glorious, ever-living God, they worshiped idols made to look like mere people and birds and animals and reptiles.
So God abandoned them to do whatever shameful things their hearts desired. As a result, they did vile and degrading things with each other’s bodies. They traded the truth about God for a lie. So they worshiped and served the things God created instead of the Creator himself, who is worthy of eternal praise! Amen. That is why God abandoned them to their shameful desires. Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved.
Since they thought it foolish to acknowledge God, he abandoned them to their foolish thinking and let them do things that should never be done. Their lives became full of every kind of wickedness, sin, greed, hate, envy, murder, quarreling, deception, malicious behavior, and gossip. They are backstabbers, haters of God, insolent, proud, and boastful. They invent new ways of sinning, and they disobey their parents. They refuse to understand, break their promises, are heartless, and have no mercy. They know God’s justice requires that those who do these things deserve to die, yet they do them anyway. Worse yet, they encourage others to do them, too. Rom. 1:18-32
To those I love, today I have to “come out.” I feel like I have to warn you of the spiritual danger in indulging the flesh in a homosexual lifestyle. It may be socially acceptable. It may be legal. Our president may think that it is just. But the Creator of earth and sky declared it wicked.
But I can’t stop there. To my straight friends: the way you have undermined and misused marriage has led us down this path. You throw the phrase around “One Man + One Woman= Marriage” but you date recreationally, go through multiple sexual partners, and support divorce. Go back to Malachi 2. The warning for protecting God’s Eden plan for the home is stated very clearly.
Judah has been unfaithful, and a detestable thing has been done in Israel and in Jerusalem. The men of Judah have defiled the Lord’s beloved sanctuary by marrying women who worship idols. May the Lord cut off from the nation of Israel every last man who has done this and yet brings an offering to the Lord of Heaven’s Armies.
Here is another thing you do. You cover the Lord’s altar with tears, weeping and groaning because he pays no attention to your offerings and doesn’t accept them with pleasure. You cry out, “Why doesn’t the Lord accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the Lord witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows.
Didn’t the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth. “For I hate divorce!” says the Lord, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.”
When it comes to seeking God’s will and His way, I am a purist. Since Adam and Eve ushered sin into the world, everything God intended changed. (Read Rom 5:12-21 to dig into that.) Sin brought death, physical and spiritual, into our world. The design of our Holy Father was corrupted. Whether you are gay or straight, it is clear we don’t live in Eden anymore. But does it have to be that way? Do you we have to settle for corruption? Do we have to live according to the will of our flesh and the law of sinful man? No.
Yes, Adam’s one sin brings condemnation for everyone, but Christ’s one act of righteousness brings a right relationship with God and new life for everyone. Because one person disobeyed God, many became sinners. But because one other person obeyed God, many will be made righteous. God’s law was given so that all people could see how sinful they were. But as people sinned more and more, God’s wonderful grace became more abundant. So just as sin ruled over all people and brought them to death, now God’s wonderful grace rules instead, giving us right standing with God and resulting in eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. (Rom 5:18-21).
There is great freedom in full surrender to Jesus Christ. That seems like foolishness to the world. How can I have freedom by becoming a slave? I feel inadequate to describe it. The freedom comes because He is so holy and so full of love. His of mercy and grace offer total forgiveness as He extends a healing hand. He gives redemption and salvation in place of death. We earned death with our willful sin against Him. Please consider the words of 1 Cor 6:9-20.
Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God. Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. And even though “I am allowed to do anything,” I must not become a slave to anything. You say, “Food was made for the stomach, and the stomach for food.” (This is true, though someday God will do away with both of them.) But you can’t say that our bodies were made for sexual immorality. They were made for the Lord, and the Lord cares about our bodies. And God will raise us from the dead by his power, just as he raised our Lord from the dead.
Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one.” But the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him.
Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.
Maybe today you find yourself trapped in a life that offers less than the joyful abundance you hoped for? Maybe you find yourself in captivity to sexual sin? Maybe you find yourself judging someone who is? This issue is so much bigger than legalizing gay marriage. This issue is about glorifying God in our bodies as He dwells in us as His temple. This is about eternity.
Today, I am not surprised by Barack Obama’s declaration. I am not surprised, but I feel I also have to use my platform, no matter how small it is, to speak against the lies that he speaks. Yesterday he chose to oppose Jehovah God who spoke to His people Israel, “Do not practice homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman. It is a detestable sin” (Lev. 18:22).
As you go forth today don’t forget:
“For the Lord’s sake, respect all human authority—whether the king as head of state, or the officials he has appointed. For the king has sent them to punish those who do wrong and to honor those who do right. It is God’s will that your honorable lives should silence those ignorant people who make foolish accusations against you. For you are free, yet you are God’s slaves, so don’t use your freedom as an excuse to do evil. Respect everyone, and love your Christian brothers and sisters. Fear God, and respect the king” (1 Pet 2: 13-17).
I know this was longer than my normal writing so I’ll summarize.
National Statistics say that 28% of students are victims of bullying. The attacks range from name calling and rumors, to threats, and physical attacks.
In our small town one story gained national attention at the end of 2011. Reports stated that one student was targeted, allegedly, for being homosexual. He was attacked by another student on campus and the video was posted on Facebook. Your feelings about homosexuality aside, no student in any school should be attacked by another student. The school was criticized for its lax treatment of the situation.
My kids go to a smaller, rural school. Even we aren’t exempt from the problem. One of my son’s classmates has been repeatedly taunted about the death of his older sister. Words like, “I’m glad your sister died” and “Your sister’s in hell” have been spoken to this 5th grade student. Where does such hatred come from?
Those are just 2 cases from my own community. You would think in our post-Columbine generation and increased awareness that these issues would decrease. But it’s not so. My fear is that, with the break down of family, our children have lost direction. They have lost their moral compass. The kids who bully have taken the hurts of their hearts and rage against other kids that they deem weaker. My fear is that no one is telling these kids it’s wrong. And no one is standing up for those who are being bullied.
Maybe you are a student that is bullied. Maybe you are a bully. Maybe your kids are bullied. Maybe you turn a blind eye to your child’s bullying. Maybe you’ve seen someone get bullied and you just walked away.
I want you to watch this:
For more information visit their website, The Bully Project.
Now I want you to consider what the Word of God says.
“Their mouths are full of cursing, lies, and threats. Trouble and evil are on the tips of their tongues. They lurk in ambush in the villages, waiting to murder innocent people.
They are always searching for helpless victims. Like lions crouched in hiding, they wait to pounce on the helpless. Like hunters they capture the helpless and drag them away in nets.” Ps 10:7-9
“Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed.” Ps 82:3
“The LORD replies, “I have seen violence done to the helpless, and I have heard the groans of the poor. Now I will rise up to rescue them, as they have longed for me to do.” Ps 12:5
So what do we as Christ followers do? How to we train our children to respond?
