“A race horse has gotta run”- Dr. Phil
For the past 14 years I have mostly been a stay-at-home mom. I spent a couple of those years teaching music part-time, but other than that I have been pretty well here. All. The. Time.
Don’t get me wrong. I have loved most of it. I love being the one to lay my babies down for nap. I love being able to nurse on demand, read stories and teach my preschoolers how to read.
But something happened since Azaiah died. My life as a stay-at-home mom allowed me to stop living. I quit driving the kids to school. I quit volunteering in their classrooms. I fell into a hole of days spent in pajamas. I would even go back to bed when the school kids left. I started keeping my sleep a secret. Like an addict, I manipulated circumstances so I could sleep and no one would know.
I was a stay-at-home mom, but I wasn’t a good stay-at-home.
Then something else happened. Some friends asked us to go on vacation with them. I was honestly a little nervous about my sleep fix. I was nervous about disrupting my lethargic lifestyle that had become my shell of protection. But I felt the urging of the Lord kicking me out the door.
Go. Live. And stay awake this time.
As I was laying on a massage table in Branson, MO, deep in prayer. God opened my heart and my thoughts to give up being a stay-at-home mom. Oh, he didn’t ask me to give up being a mom. He just asked me to give up the home part.
Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. Rom. 12:2
The past six months I have met with bankers, brokers, lawyers, contractors, city review boards and sales representatives. I have conducted interviews, designed, marketed and climbed neck-deep into a renovation project.
I have become a business owner.
As I navigate these the waters of a working mom for the first time I know I can’t forget:
Being a wife matters.
The iconic image of the Proverbs 31 woman portrays a woman who is buying, selling, bartering and managing. She was a skilled business woman. But it is interesting that even though she was a rock star entrepreneur she isn’t defined by that. She is defined by her marital status. She is a wife.
Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies.
Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. Prov. 31:10-11
My kids get first dibs.
Ministry, marriage and church duties have distracted me from my kids for 14 years. I have had to constantly reevaluate and recalibrate to keep things in balance. I can’t let a business take first place now. I am a mother. I am their mother. I am the mother God picked for them. They deserve my time and attention every single day.
“Never! Can a mother forget her nursing child?
Can she feel no love for the child she has borne?
But even if that were possible,
I would not forget you! Is. 49:15
Let the Spirit take control.
Whether it is prioritizing responsibilities or time management, there are decisions that will give God more or less glory. As my opening day approaches, I beg the Spirit to show me the most.
Letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace. Rom. 8:6
So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions…
But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! (Read all Gal. 5 here).