“Everybody’s done it. Sex before marriage isn’t a big deal. These days it’s normal. I’m sure God excuses it. It won’t affect my marriage.”
Let’s look at a few people from the bible who indulged in sexual sin and see if sex outside of marriage did matter.
First stop Gen 35:22. Jacob’s oldest son Reuben slept with one of Jacob’s concubines. In Gen 49:3-4 as Jacob is closing out his life he tells Reuben that he has lost his rights as first-born because of his sexual sin. Losing your first-born status is pretty much losing it all. Reuben lost his inheritance, his authority in his family and his place in the lineage of Jesus all because he couldn’t control is sex drive. Sex outside of marriage did matter.
Next stop, 2 Samuel 11-12. Kings of ancient times had unadulterated power. No one got in their way. Once a humble servant, King David let the power go to his head when he saw Bathsheba bathing. His lust was aroused. He was king. He could have what he wanted. He sinned. After the prophet Nathan convicted David of his sin, he told him that the child born of their sin would die. Sex outside of marriage did matter.
Today’s final destination Proverbs 7: 6-27.
When from the window of my house, from behind the screen, I gazed down, I looked among the naive young men and noticed among the youth, one who had no sense. He was crossing the street at her corner and walked down the path to her house in the early evening, at the onset of night and darkness. All of a sudden a woman approaches him, dressed like a prostitute and with a cunning mind. She is noisy and defiant; her feet don’t stay long in her own house. She has one foot in the street, one foot in the public square. She lies in wait at every corner. She grabs him and kisses him. Her face is brazen as she speaks to him: “I’ve made a sacrifice of well-being; today I fulfilled my solemn promises. So I’ve come out to meet you, seeking you, and I have found you. I’ve spread my bed with luxurious covers, with colored linens from Egypt. I’ve sprinkled my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon. Come, let’s drink deep of love until morning; let’s savor our lovemaking. For my husband isn’t home; he’s gone far away. He took a pouch of money with him; he won’t come home till full moon.” She seduces him with all her talk. She entices him with her flattery. He goes headlong after her, like an ox to the slaughter, like a deer leaping into a trap, until an arrow pierces his liver, like a bird hurrying to the snare, not aware that it will cost him his life. Now children, listen to me, and pay attention to my speech. Don’t turn your heart to her ways; don’t wander down her paths. She has caused many corpses to fall; she has killed many people. Her house is a path to the grave, going down to the chambers of death.
Corpses. Killed. Grave. Chamber of Death. Sex outside of marriage did matter.
Let’s bring this home. I’ve said it before, but sexual sin before marriage almost destroyed our home and ministry. In our home Satan used it to build a trap of lies, insecurities, contempt, and anger. We were ensnared. Until the Truth literally set us free.
How about you? Are you in a marriage where past sexual sin is the unspoken secret causing distance? Are you making excuses why your sex life outside of marriage isn’t going to affect your future spouse? Know this. Sex before marriage matters. Marriage matters!
Tomorrow: Marriage Myth #3: Pornography Won’t Affect My Marriage