I turn 40 this year. I had more angst about turning 30 than I do the big 4-0. Actually, I sort of love it. I love it because:
I finally feel like I have arrived.
When I was a kid I wanted to grow up. When I was in high school I wanted to graduate. When I was in college I wanted a career. Today I finally feel like I don’t have to become something else or someone else. I am here. I am who and where I am supposed to be. I have arrived.
I know who I am.
I used to be embarrassed that I never finished college. I used to feel insecure about telling people I was a stay at home mom. I used to shrink back from telling people I was a Christian.
Now I know who I am. I am a blood-bought, Christ-following, wife/mother and all around Jesus freak. Love me or hate me, that’s who I am.
Critics rarely phase me.
I will do my best to exemplify the love of Jesus and speak with grace. But the truth is I am a lot more afraid of Jesus than I am of you. He has some pretty strong warnings for people who aren’t committed to walking walk.
I have mature faith.
I have been tested. I have been tried. I have been stretched. I have been pulled. I have walked on water in the storm. I believe Jesus.
I have a good man.
I would never, never, ever want to go back into the dating scene. I was so insecure and desperate to find love and affection. Now I don’t have to try to be someone I’m not to impress a guy and win him over. I got a man and a good one. My husband has given me a safe place to be me with my flaws and my failures. He has also given me the support to try crazy things like write books and blogs and buy a salon. Yes, he let me buy a salon and I don’t even do hair.
I cannot contain my tears when I think of the friends I have. This picture was taken before we left for a women’s retreat that I was speaking at, two months after my son died. What kind of friends pack up for a road trip with you when you are postpartum and grieving the loss of that child? And let you drive?
These kind of friends do.
These kind of friends don’t gossip about you, abandon you or stab you in the back. These friends hold me up. They got my back. They watch my kids, do my laundry, listen to my woes and ride my crazy train. They breathe life into my broken spirit. I am almost 40 and these are the friends I have.