For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. 2 Cor 1:5
We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Rom. 5:3-5
As I type these words, I have not gone to bed yet on the day I buried my son. I ache. I am sore. I am anxious. I am weary. I suffer.
And as I suffer I have a request. I know you suffer with me. I know you want to speak words of comfort. But please don’t wish my pain away anymore. I need it.
I need the pain to know that Azaiah is my son. The pain speaks, “I am Azaiah’s mom.” If you take the pain, you take him. If you take the pain, you take my memories. If you take the pain, you leave me void and empty. Please let me keep my pain.
Let me keep my pain because in my suffering for Christ, I trust that God will shower his comfort on me. Let me keep my pain so that I can keep my hope in God’s ability to bring supernatural comfort.
Let me keep my pain because through my suffering God is producing perseverance. Through my suffering God is molding my character. Through my pain God is giving me a shameless hope as he pours out his Holy Spirit on me.
So as I grieve, please don’t wish you could take my pain. And please, just let me keep my pain.