From my journal March 29, 2012:
Since Monday, today is Thursday, I realized something pretty significant. I am not defined by my role as a wife, mother, my least favorite “preacher’s wife”, or even my name. No one knows a thing about me, except one cook who is a little chattier than the rest. She knows I am a mom and likes my tennis shoes. I realize here I am defined within myself by nothing except who I am in Jesus Christ. My relationship with Him defines me. He has been my only companion, my only source of conversation. He is the only one who even notices me here.
After I wrote those words before lunch I stood behind my chair in the meal room. The cook entered and asked someone to offer the blessing. After some brief banter two men selected the priest sitting to my left. It hit me. I am the least of these. Here I am not looked up to. I am not asked for advice. I’m not a prayer leader. I am not a mentor. I am the least of these.
The priest offered the blessing and I took my seat. The power of that truth flooded my spirit. Tears were drawn to my eyes. Yes, I am the least of these.
As I am in the “final countdown” I’ve asked the Lord to bring it all together for me. Draw me some conclusions Lord, in bullet points please.
- LEAD LESS
- SERVE MORE
I have a natural “take charge” and “get-it-done” personality. The Lord is asking me to give that up for Him and become the least of these all the time.
Update: It has been a week since I penned these words. I am thankful for humbling that the Lord graciously extended to me. I am currently in the process of amputating responsibilities.