Help! I Can’t Take This Marriage Anymore!


So there’s a lot of us out there that traded in our wedded bliss for a one-way ticket to misery. It seemed like moments after the “I Do” we soon found out the marriage wasn’t anything like we thought or dreamed. It is hard. Everything is hard about it.

We get annoyed. We get let down. We get angry. We get hurt. We get frustrated.  We are afraid. We feel misunderstood, under appreciated and some times just plain unloved.

That’s when we are placed at the crossroad of our life and we have a choice what direction we go. Each path leads to a distinctly different destination. We either can react to the typhoon of emotions and lash out with outbursts of anger, lack of self-control or complete silence. OR we can make a conscientious decision to love like Jesus right in that same moment that we are tempted to hate.

It’s always been peculiar to me how Christ describes his love for the church in marital terms. (Is. 61, Mt 25, Eph. 5, Rev. 19 & 21)  Why did Jesus choose marriage to illustrate his love? Even more, why did he choose marriage to be the predecessor to his relationship to the church? Because nothing else so vividly captures the essence of his love, his passion, his devotion, his hurt, his disappointment and his relentlessness pursuit than marriage.

It says:

For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.  He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. Eph. 5:25-27

When you are in those intolerable moments with your spouse do you…

  • offer yourself up to make him blameless?
  • sacrifice for him so that he can stand before you innocent?
  • allow him to come home without fault?

That’s what marriage God’s way is. We may want out. We may scream, “It’s not fair.” But what Jesus did wasn’t really fair either. His sacrifice exemplifies what the marriage relationship should be.

Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.  Col. 3:13

Do forgiveness, mercy and grace flow from your marriage? They don’t always flow from mine.  I hate the moments when they don’t.

No matter what your marriage looks like or feels like today, fix your heart on this, knowing your time is coming. The Creator says:

Because I love you,
    I will not keep still.
Because my heart yearns for you,
    I cannot remain silent.
I will not stop praying for you
    until your righteousness shines like the dawn,
    and your salvation blazes like a burning torch.
The nations will see your righteousness.
    World leaders will be blinded by your glory.
And you will be given a new name
    by the Lord’s own mouth.
The Lord will hold you in his hand for all to see—
    a splendid crown in the hand of God.
Never again will you be called  “Forsaken…”
    or “Desolate…”
Your new name will be “…God’s Delight”
    and “The Bride of God,”
for the Lord delights in you
    and will claim you as his bride.
Your children will commit themselves to you…
    just as a young man commits himself to his bride.
Then God will rejoice over you
    as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride. Is. 62:1-5



  1. Maggie Bacon says:

    It would be great if each man and woman contemplating getting married would have to read this first.

  2. One of the best books that I have read about marriage was written by Lee Ezell, “The Cinderella Syndrome: Discovering God’s Plan When Your Dreams Don’t Come True ”
    There is no white pickett fence in my future. The devil works daily to destroy my marriage. But what he cannot destroy is my will to be obedient to GOD. I will survive no matte how difficult my trails. Thank you for reminding me always of how to be what GOD expects me to be. Love you, Sandy

  3. Two of Satan’s greatest lies are that 1. that squishy feeling in your stomach is true love, and 2. you will be happier if you just let go of a “bad marriage” and find someone else who makes you feel squishy. So many people give up on marriage before they get to experience the joy that comes from a solid commitment to one another and a desire to work out disagreements. Real love takes work, but it is so worth it!

  4. I needed this challenge, this direction today. Thanks for studying and sharing.

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