Addition from Feb. 15, 2015
Looking back on this day it was one of the hardest things of my life. To take a baby who grew in my womb and nursed at my breast and put in the ground.
I have accepted this reality but there is not one piece of me who is OK with it. Two years later I still hate this day.
“For Mom on Funeral Day.” That’s what the card from my 7 year-old daughter, Jada, said. She presented me with the gift at the graveside of her baby brother. In it I found Max Lucado’s book, God’s Promises For You, a dollar and this- Stuck On You Laugh Notes. Her next words came from her lips, but were spoken from the heart of God. “We still have to laugh.”
Yes we do. We still have to laugh.
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Phil. 4:4
And my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
And my adversaries will rejoice when I am shaken.
But I have trusted in Your loving kindness;
My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord,
Because He has dealt bountifully with me. Psalm 12:4-6
Today I choose to rejoice, not because I don’t hurt and not because I am in denial. Today I choose to rejoice because the Lord of Heaven has dealt bountifully with me. He has blessed me with innumerable gifts. He has drawn me closer to him in my sorrow. He has allowed me a glimpse of his plan. He has counted me worthy to share in his suffering, the suffering of losing a son.Yes, the Lord has dealt bountifully with me.
We rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. Rom. 5:2-5
So today, in my suffering, I will rejoice. Thanks Jada!