I am the mother of four daughters. With the addition of each one of them, the pressure to “get it right” grows. From my own experience and from counseling hundreds of girls over the years, I see there is a crisis in our culture that is plaguing daughters. Father’s are being pushed out of their daughter’s lives at staggering rates.
When I was starting kindergarten my parents divorced. My dad was given every-other-weekend visitation. VISITATION. Four days out of the month. How could he be my dad four days a month? How can any man be a father when the world judges his worth at 10% of the mother’s? Why the shift from only a few decades before when the family unit and role of fathers was more defined, secured, and valued?
Ladies, we bought the Feminine Mystique and shoved it down society’s throat. Betty Friedan likened the American family to ”a comfortable concentration camp.”
Gloria Steinem said, “A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.” This is also the same woman who said, ”By the year 2000 we will, I hope, raise our children to believe in human potential, not God.”
The feminist movement declared war on the traditional, BIBLICAL family. They clearly stated, that for their movement to succeed, the notion of family needed to be redefined. Women didn’t need men. Kids didn’t need fathers… or mother’s for that matter. State institutions could fill those roles.
I, for one, have vomited up the consequences of those philosophies for years. My family fell in 1980 as the first fruits of the feminist movement. I wanted my mom AND my dad. What sort of civilized society judicially rules that I only needed my dad four days out of the month? A feminist defined society is who.
Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin in their book, So Much More, examine the effects of the feminist movement on daughters and dads and aim to refocus our eyes on the truth. We need our dads.
One of their observations about girls who are missing their dads, “We have become acquainted with problems and predicaments that tortured so many of these young ladies. Broken homes. The desire to have families. Futile, politically-correct college courses. The need for protection. Confusion about the meaning of ‘true love.” Disinterested fathers. Confused mothers. The longing for spiritual guidance. An irrelevant Church.” From my experience their observations are mild. I would add low-self esteem, under-age relationships, sexual promiscuity, drug use, and self-mutilation to that list.
They also acknowledge, “Feminists will say we’re weak, but after struggling with feminism ourselves, we realize that being a woman of God will take more of our strength than trying to be anything else. It will require the courage and conviction of a martyr. This is not a book for the weak-hearted or peer-dependent.” I concur. I believe these issues are so pervasive in our society that I am dedicating my writing this week to daughters, dads, and true feminine strength.
Why do we need our dads so much? Because the Maker of daughters and dads created us that way from Genesis. No matter what Betty Friedan, Gloria Steinem, or any “revolutionary” declares. We need our dads. My girls need their dad. I need my dad.
- It is God who formed man in the beginning (Gen.1).
- It is God who designed the family (Gen. 2).
- It is God who ordained male leadership over families and nations (Deut. 6).
- It is God who says today, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord” (Eph. 6:4).
So I ask the feminists, and those who aim to “redefine the family” who makes you qualified to redefine such a monumental, divinely ordained plan? I ask you the same questions that God asked of Job:
Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorant words? Brace yourself like a man, because I have some questions for you, and you must answer them.
Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Tell me, if you know so much.
Who determined its dimensions and stretched out the surveying line?What supports its foundations, and who laid its cornerstone…
Who kept the sea inside its boundaries as it burst from the womb…
I said, ‘This far and no farther will you come. Here your proud waves must stop!’Have you ever commanded the morning to appear and caused the dawn to rise in the east? Do you know where the gates of death are located…
Where does light come from, and where does darkness go? Have you visited the storehouses of the snow or seen the storehouses of hail?Who laid out the path for the lightning…
Can you direct the movement of the stars— binding the cluster of the Pleiades or loosening the cords of Orion? Can you direct the sequence of the seasons or guide the Bear with her cubs across the heavens?
Do you know the laws of the universe? Can you use them to regulate the earth? Can you shout to the clouds and make it rain? Can you make lightning appear and cause it to strike as you direct?Who gives intuition to the heart and instinct to the mind… (Read Job 38-41)
So when those who aim to redefine family come up with a universe of their own, they may get my attention. But for now, my faith and trust lies in the God who created the universe AND families. Stay tuned for more about how we can change our path and get back on God’s course for us.
And I will be your Father, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the LORD Almighty. 2Cor. 6:18