I cannot believe it has been five years. It has been five years since he was growing safely in my womb. Five years since we anticipated his birth. Five years since.
He was born November 2, 2012.
He died Jan 4, 2013.
In the first days and months of grief I clung to other mother’s like me. I needed them. I needed their testimony. I needed their strength. I needed to know someone else survived this. I needed to know that I would be able to breathe again some day.
Five years later I am the survivor.
I survived so that I can be what you need.
Your pain matters.
I believe every word recorded for us in the bible reveals a truth we need to know. Tucked away in 2 Samuel 18:33 is a truth I needed to know.
David is in the middle of defending his kingdom against an attempted coupe led by his son. His son is killed.
The bible says this:
The king was overcome with emotion. He went up to the room over the gateway and burst into tears. And as he went, he cried, “O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you! O Absalom, my son, my son.”
Why is that verse there? God could have just said, “David was sad.” But he didn’t. God actually recorded David’s exact words in that moment of grief? Why?
Because David’s pain mattered to God. Your pain matters too.
You can go to him.
But now that he is dead, why should I go on fasting? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me. 2 Sam. 12:23
Nothing will bring my baby back. Nothing.
But there is also nothing that can keep me from getting to him.
Hope is powerful.
This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God’s inner sanctuary. Heb. 6:19
We boast in the hope of the glory of God.
We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Rom. 5:2-5
The resurrection is real.
Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”
Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!” John 20:27-28
Yes, Thomas was a doubter. Jesus said it himself. But Thomas is also the first recorded person in history to testify to the Godhood of the man Jesus. Thomas, the skeptic, believed the resurrection was real.
He believed it so much that he died for it. Recorded history tells us he traveled through India preaching Christ. While in India, he was speared and bled out from his wound.
“Do not weep! See, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has triumphed. ” Rev. 5:5
Jesus wins. Love wins. Life wins!