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Engaged is NOT the New Married

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This is how Jesus the Messiah was born. His mother, Mary, was engaged to be married to Joseph. But before the marriage took place, while she was still a virgin, she became pregnant through the power of the Holy Spirit. Mt. 1:18

Dating

Long-term dating

Engagement

It’s not marriage.  We know there is a difference. God says there’s a difference.

Culturally, marriage is a legally binding contract joining two people in relational commitment. Spiritually, marriage is a vow to God and man that melds a man and woman into one flesh.

Dinner and movie doesn’t do that. Dinner and dessert and a movie doesn’t do that.

A diamond ring and saying that you are going to do that doesn’t do THAT.

Marriage is called holy matrimony for a reason- because God himself seals the union. Before you lock and load your commitment in a God-sealed marriage, don’t get too close.  Engaged is not the new married.

Let marriage be held in honor among all. Heb. 13:4

Emotionally

“There is an emotional promiscuity we’ve noticed among many good young men and women… Be careful you do not offer too much of yourself to a man until you have good, solid evidence that he is a strong man willing to commit.” –Stasi Eldredge

There must be a hidden place of your heart reserved for marriage. There must be quiet places of your soul that come to light on your wedding day. There must be a piece of you reserved solely for the one you marry when you say “I do.”

Financially

What’s yours is mine, what’s mine is yours. No, it isn’t.  Not until you are married. Don’t share bank accounts, a mortgage or a piggy bank until the deal is sealed.

Residentially

Don’t redecorate his house. Don’t keep your toothbrush at her house. Certainly do not move in together or spend the night together. Save that for the next level- marriage.

Sexually

Engagement doesn’t give you freedom to give yourself sexually. Put intentional hedges around your purity. Safe-guard your sexuality until the time is right (SoS 8:4).

  • Run from sexual sin!  1 Cor. 6:18
  • Let the marriage bed be undefiled. Heb. 13:4
  • Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.  Prov. 5:19
  • The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. 1 Cor. 7:3

When the time is right, freely give yourself to an open sexual relationship with your spouse.

Prepare yourself and your relationship for marriage. Do it God’s way and be blessed!

Since Jacob was in love with Rachel, he told her father, “I’ll work for you for seven years if you’ll give me Rachel, your younger daughter, as my wife.”

“Agreed!” Laban replied. “I’d rather give her to you than to anyone else. Stay and work with me.” So Jacob worked seven years to pay for Rachel. But his love for her was so strong that it seemed to him but a few days. Gen 29:18-20

May 19, 2014Serena
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Comments: 6
  1. Julie
    9 years ago

    Love this… Thanks for sharing!

    ReplyCancel
  2. Chelsea
    9 years ago

    Absolutely beautiful, thanks for writing Serena, I especially love the last part added about Jacob….

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  3. Jamie
    9 years ago

    Just a thought from my experience…
    Financially was one of the ways my husband and I did kind of “join forces” before we got married. We joined bank accounts shortly after we we got engaged and began to manage our money together. I think if you wait until the “I do” to do any sort of financial sharing, you’re going to get a rude wake-up call when everything is suddenly being shared. Starting early gave us a chance to work out the kinks and, I think largely due to that, we have virtually no disagreements about money.

    Not the only way to do it, but it worked for us! =)

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    • Serena
      9 years ago

      I did too with my husband before we were officially married. What I’m seeing more of is dating/engaged couples that are intertwining their finances and breaking up. It’s a disaster!!

      ReplyCancel
  4. Jamie
    9 years ago

    I wonder if that means people are taking engagement too lightly? It does seem like there are a lot more broken engagements than there used to be. Interesting. And yes, disastrous!

    ReplyCancel
  5. Hannah S.
    8 years ago

    This is so timely for me right now. Thank you, Serena!

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Serena
9 years ago 7 Comments Christ-followers & Culture, Dating, Marriage, Sex, Singlehood, Teen Issuesbefore marriage, dating, living together, premarital sex626
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