Since my son died, I have been granted access into a sacred world. The world of parents that bury their children. I always knew before that I lived on the outside of the gates. I felt it with every interaction I had with a mother who lost her child. I wasn’t in that world. And I really didn’t want to be.
But now, in my short time as a citizen of this community I have learned, we don’t want words of comfort from people who fain understanding. We don’t want to be told what we “should” do or how we “should” feel. We don’t want people who don’t live here to say “I can’t image your pain.” The truth is we can’t imagine the pain either. But it is where we dwell. This is where our citizenship now lies.
And so, since divine authority granted me access into this world, as a fellow citizen, I feel I must speak divine truth to its people.
Since I have been in this world I see mothers who boldly reject the idea of loving God. I have met mothers who run into the bed of a man rather than into the arms of a holy Jesus. I have met mothers who serve themselves and feed their whims rather than see the pain in their husbands or their children. I have met mothers who give lip service to Jesus and beg for his healing while rejecting his call to give up everything and follow him.
I have met you face to face. I have cried with you. I have held you in my arms. I have agonized with you. I have brought your name to the throne of God even when you didn’t want me to.
And today, I tell you with all the life and love that is my body, you will never heal apart from your Creator. You will never find peace in your quiet moments without serving the God of the Holy Scriptures. Your pain will only multiply the longer you run from him.
Today, stop worshiping your fear, your anger, your doubt, and your grief. Yes, you live in the City of Grief. I do too. And what I have seen with my own eyes, is God lives here too.
His arms are out stretched. His voice is calling. Drop what you are doing. And run. Run to him.
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.