Is There Wedded Bliss After Baby?

November 14, 2012 by 1 Comment

Here I am. Twelve days postpartum. We’ve done this a time or two before, but I still find myself wondering, will there be wedded bliss after baby?

Hormones, lack of sleep, the demands of nursing a newborn and the needs of five other kids is taking its toll on my sanity, needless to say my connection to my husband. Really, it has only been twelve days, but I find the chasm set by the newborn sleeping between us is deep and wide.

So I am digging into my mental archives to remember how to jump this hurdle. This is what I have come up with.

  • Recommit to focusing on him… and by him I mean the husband not the baby.
  • Make it a point to do something to serve him
  • Spend time together listening and talking
  • Date. Even if it’s at home after the kids go to bed
  • Release the stress and laugh again
  • Get a shower and get dressed again

I would love to hear some of your suggestions to re-bonding with your husband after baby arrives.

 

Filed Under: Kids and Beyond, Mama Stuff, Parenting, Womanhood

Lessons from Labor and Delivery Part 2: Learning to be Served

November 6, 2012 by 1 Comment

Yesterday I shared an epiphany I had after giving birth in Lessons from Labor and Delivery. Follow me today on the next part of my journey.

So as I laid around waiting… and waiting for this baby to be born I pretty much had to rely on people to do everything for me. From flipping me in the bed to making decisions on the best course of action. I had to rely on my husband, my mom, my doctor and my nurses. I was at the mercy of pretty much everyone.

That’s a position most of us don’t like to be in. In fact, only yesterday, I heard my mother say, “I just like to do things for myself.”  Is that you? It’s me with a lot of things. I just as soon do it myself and get it done they way I want. But then God put me into a situation where I simply could NOT do anything for myself. Which lead me to the next lesson I learned in the delivery room that day.

Lesson #2: God wants me to surrender to others, ask for help, and allow him to bless me through their service.

Read this excerpt from Paul’s letter to the church at Philippi:

For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. Even so, you have done well to share with me in my present difficulty.

As you know, you Philippians were the only ones who gave me financial help when I first brought you the Good News and then traveled on from Macedonia. No other church did this. Even when I was in Thessalonica you sent help more than once. I don’t say this because I want a gift from you. Rather, I want you to receive a reward for your kindness.

At the moment I have all I need—and more! I am generously supplied with the gifts you sent me with Epaphroditus. They are a sweet-smelling sacrifice that is acceptable and pleasing to God. And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus. Now all glory to God our Father forever and ever! Amen.

Paul recognizes that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. We love to quote that part of the verse because it empowers us to be able to reach unobtainable goals. But Paul goes on and shows how Christ practically met his needs through other Christians.

I love that. Christ was in it all. He was in the financial support, the gifts and the messengers. Those offerings to Paul were a “sweet-smelling sacrifice that [were] acceptable and pleasing to God.” Paul acknowledged their gifts because he wanted them to receive a blessing back from God.

So the next time you are tempted to reject help, keep silent about your need, or just do it yourself, remember that Christ is waiting to bless you through others. And keep in mind their offering to you is their offering to their God. Your stifling of their blessing could also stifle their reward.

Now go… and allow yourself to be served today.

Filed Under: Kids and Beyond, Mama Stuff, Serving Others, Womanhood Tagged With:

Lessons from Labor and Delivery

November 5, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Well, here I am on the other side of watching God bring life from my body for the sixth time.

The past few weeks and months of suffering aches and pains, restlessness, immobility, and emotional depression culminated in the climax of my suffering a few days ago. I labored with this child for 24 hours in addition to the 5 hours that I sat getting my dose of antibiotics prior. (I do accept the aid of modern medicine).

There was one point, about 16 hours into it, that my nurse checked me and said the baby’s head actually was farther up. It was then my feelings of uncertainty increased. Why wasn’t I dilating? Would I be able to birth this child on my own or would I have to have a C-section? Was something wrong with him that he wouldn’t come down? Why was his heart rate dropping? I had never had anything like this happen before.

At the 20 hour mark I was thinking I’m going to have to have a C-section. I will never be able to push him out. I am too tired. I am physically, mentally and emotionally spent.

After praying, my husband came to me and said, “I think you can do it.” My doctor came in and told me he had prayed about it and thought I could do it. They didn’t want me to quit.

In my exhaustion I complied.

I continued to labor. Finally, 4 hours later, the pressure was too great to withstand. I had to push. I mustered up what I could to push that child out. I only got to hold him for a moment because he needed medical attention. His color was not good.

I spiked a fever.  Everything on my body hurt. I was light-headed. My physical suffering continued.

Why did all this happen? Every odd was in my favor. I have had 5 relatively uncomplicated births and none of them lasted much longer than 12 hours. With the sixth everyone expected it to go fast and easy. It was as if this was planned. Was it? I am beginning to think so.

After a friend of ours who heard that I was still in labor the next day left me this message: “I’m praying God will release angels to warfare for you and your family right now. Peace for you. Strength for you. He’s right here you can do this!” It hit me.

It was never about me being strong enough. It was about me being weak enough to put my trust in something other than myself. I trusted my husband as my spiritual leader. I trusted my doctor as God’s minister to me. I trusted my God without question because I simply didn’t have the strength to fight.

Today as I recover, I pray for a healing of my mind, body and my spirit. I pray that what I took out of the delivery room that day was more than a baby. I pray that God has infused his Spirit with mine so that I will face everyday with a relinquished self-will and the ability to trust more deeply each step He leads me.

Instead, be very glad—for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world. 1 Pet 4:13

 

Filed Under: Kids and Beyond, Mama Stuff, Parenting, Womanhood Tagged With: ,

Childbirth and Sin

October 31, 2012 by 3 Comments

Needless to say I have had childbirth on my mind. I have come to the end of my 6th pregnancy. Thursday labor will be induced. And well, no matter how you slice it childbirth hurts.

  • Then he said to the woman,“I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. Gen 3:16 
  • The woman was deceived, and sin was the result. But women will be saved through childbearing, assuming they continue to live in faith, love, holiness, and modesty. 1 Tim. 2:14-15 
  • Be happy, woman—you who cannot have children. Be glad you never gave birth. Shout and cry with joy! You never felt those labor pains. Gal. 4:26 ERV

So what’s the point of all the pain? Through the end of this pregnancy I have aching hips, a sore back, and inexplicable muscle twinges. My feet are puffy, my nerves are shot, and I am just done. Well, all except for BIG HURT that lies ahead. I get to push a human being out of my body.

And through all my discomfort, restlessness and pain, I hear God saying, “I never wanted it this way.” God didn’t create life in me to see me suffer. He created me for perfect peace with him. He created all of us for perfect, peaceful fellowship with him. And that fellowship was peaceful until Eve turned her back on it and took the hand of the serpent.

I could get mad at Eve and blame her for all my troubles, but I am pretty sure that if I was standing in that garden that day with my husband I would have done the same thing. I have done the same thing, just under different circumstances, in a different time and place. Eve’s sin just effected all women of all time. Her sin gave us the pain of child-bearing.

In my misery, I am reminded of something today, sin still hurts. Our sin doesn’t hurt just us. No, the consequences of one act of disobedience to a holy God can reverberate throughout time.

But God soon reminds me of another more powerful truth spoken by Jesus, “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

He has overcome. And soon, soon I will too.

Filed Under: Kids and Beyond, Mama Stuff, Womanhood Tagged With: ,

Dealing with Depression

October 29, 2012 by 2 Comments

Every pregnancy I have dealt with some form of prenatal depression or postpartum depression. For the past couple weeks I couldn’t figure out was going on. Duh! After six pregnancies you would think I would catch on. My symptoms of prenatal depression are classic. It kicked into high gear on my birthday a couple of weeks ago. Some of the symptoms are:

  • A sense that nothing feels enjoyable or fun anymore
  • Feeling blue, sad, or “empty” for most of the day, every day
  • It’s harder to concentrate
  • Extreme irritability or agitation or excessive crying
  • Trouble sleeping or sleeping all the time
  • Extreme or never-ending fatigue
  • A desire to eat all the time or not wanting to eat at all
  • Inappropriate guilt or feelings of worthlessness or hopelessness

I know I am not alone in this. Whether it is pregnancy related or not, ladies, let’s face it, our hormones do a number on us. From PMS, pregnancy to menopause, real chemical things can throw is into a mental and emotional tailspin.  It is real. And every season of life provides women with real challenges.

The past couple weeks I have yelled too much, thrown things, slammed doors and cried for days. I lost weight at my last OB appointment confirming my suspicion that I’m not eating properly. Things that normally don’t phase me cause my skin to crawl. My sleep is sporadic. I have wild hot flashes. Anger is simmering right below the surface. And my mood switches between mad and sad. I don’t want to talk or even be around people. Sometimes in those moments I don’t even feel like talking to God about it.

Can you feel me? Have you been there? So what in the world do we do when we have spiraled out of control? What do we do when we can’t reel our emotions in? What do we do when life seems overwhelming?

Sometimes I feel like I am dragging my broken self along the side of the road whispering “help.” Sometimes the people who are passing by don’t notice my life-less body or my cry for help. Maybe they don’t see me. Maybe they don’t know what to do. Maybe they don’t care. But sometimes they do. So…

1. Ask for help.

Sometimes as women we feel like we can’t let others see our “bad side.” We feel like presenting ourselves well is more important than really being well. Stop trying to deal with everything alone. Ask for help. Sometimes that help is asking for prayers, help around your house, going out to dinner or finding a babysitter. Sometimes it is seeking spiritual help or talking to your doctor. Let go of the fear and shame that makes you hide and talk about it.

2. Eat Right.

I have been neglecting this one big time. The less I eat the worse I get. Take time to eat healthy, well-balanced meals. Even when you don’t feel like, put some God-made food into your body.

3. Get Enough Sleep 

When I am exhausted, whoa. Get a good night sleep and release the guilt for that afternoon nap that sounds so good.

4. Identify and Deal With Your Triggers.

There is usually something that sets my emotions a blaze. It could be having more house work, non-compliant kids, to hurt feelings or extra pressure to get something done.  I’m usually pretty good at identifying the triggers, but not so good at dealing with them, especially if it requires communication.

5. Establish a Support System

Yesterday God sent some people who did see me. They did hear me. And they understood me. I didn’t feel strong enough to pray in the moment but they did. As I sat in hidden away during church, one of my sisters came back to check on me. As soon as she said, “Are you ok?” The well-spring of tears erupted.  She just hugged me. I sent out texts to some of my extended support system. A few prayerful, understanding, and loving women carried my needs before the throne of God when I felt like I couldn’t. Knowing that some one “gets-it” goes a long way.

Get help dealing with your responsibilities too. My mom has arrived a few days before the baby is scheduled to arrive. She’s taking the care of my kids and home.

6. You May Need Medical Help

Seeking help from a doctor is OK. You may need that help. I do prefer natural treatments to medicine. St. John’s Wort, folic acid, and B-6 are all natural treatments that can give your mood a boost.

7. Use the God’s Gifts in Faith

Are any of you suffering hardships? You should pray. Are any of you happy? You should sing praises. Are any of you sick? You should call for the elders of the church to come and pray over you, anointing you with oil in the name of the Lord. Such a prayer offered in faith will heal the sick, and the Lord will make you well. And if you have committed any sins, you will be forgiven.

Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. James 5:13-16

Filed Under: Mama Stuff, Mental Health, Womanhood Tagged With: ,

Spirit-led Parenting: Letting God Raise Your Children Through You

October 16, 2012 by 3 Comments

Yesterday’s destination #1: Claim your place as parent and authority. “Who’s the Boss? What’s God’s Plan for Parents and Children?”

Today, as we unfold the road map a little farther, our next stop is Spirit-led Parenting: Letting God Raise Your Children Through You.

With the responsibility of growing and raising six children, there are many times that I just don’t know what to do. As a mom, I have faced sickness, rebellion, emotional outbursts of rage and sadness to dilemmas with chores and getting kids up on time.  There are times when my way just doesn’t work. I try to talk sense into my children. I try to redirect their actions and mold their behavior. I try to plan and organize our way out of chaos. But sometimes it just doesn’t work. There are times that I feel utterly overwhelmed and totally clueless.

The funny thing is, I think that’s just where He wants me. God wants me to remember that this parenting journey isn’t about my plans, but His. God wants me to remember that these are His children and I am just the vessel to nurture and train them for Him. God will always parent my children properly, I just have to trust Him.

So what does God want for my children?

And what does he want? Godly children from your union. Mal. 2:15

God wants my kids to look like Him. He wants them to imitate Him. He wants the hearts of my children.

That’s a pretty tall order! So how do I do that? How do I raise God-like children?

1. Commit them to Him.

I find such courage for motherhood from the story of a woman named Hannah. You can meet her in 1 Samuel 1. Hannah wanted nothing more than to have a child. When the Lord granted her request what did she do? Did she start his college fund? Read all the latest child-rearing books? Research the best preschool programs? Nope. She gave him right back to God.

“Wait until the boy is weaned. Then I will take him to the Tabernacle and leave him there with the Lord permanently…” I asked the Lord to give me this boy, and he has granted my request. Now I am giving him to the Lord, and he will belong to the Lord his whole life.”

We may not have the option to go drop our kid off at the local tabernacle to be raised by a prophet, but can dedicate our children to their Maker. We can stop dedicating them to academics, popularity and sports. And start dedicating them to learning of God, their Savior, and His Spirit. We can dedicate them in prayer. We can dedicate them to being among God’s people and preferring them above the world.

2. Invite God Into Every Part of  the Day

And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.  Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. Deut. 6:6-9

God longs to be part of your every waking moment. He wants us to consistently speak of Him to our children. He wants His commands to be on our lips when we are at home, in the car, running errands, first thing in the morning til we go to sleep. He wants first place in every part of our day.

3. Imitate God Myself

The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. Ps. 103:13

Whoa! This is the crucial piece of the pie. If I am going to raise godly children, I am going to have to be a godly parent. I am going to have to imitate a holy God. It is like what Paul said, “And you should imitate me, just as I imitate Christ” (1 Cor. 11:1). So what kind of parent is God?

God is provider (Matt. 6:26). God is comforter (Ps. 34:17). God is love (1 John 4:7).  God is tender (Luke 1:78). God disciplines (Heb. 12:6).

I may not be a perfect parent, but He is. My challenge is to I simply get out of God’s way and let Him work through my parenting. Instead of making my plans, I need to follow the plans of the Spirit. “If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit” (Gal. 5:25).

4. Sacrifice

For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

This verse deserves more credit than the poster board signs at football games give it. I think sometimes we skip by the truth in this verse. God gave up the most precious thing to Him, a holy son, to save a world full of ungrateful children, who would mostly reject the sacrifice.

And we complain about dreams put on hold, the loss of freedom, laundry, cooking dinner and sleepless nights. But our God is the kind of parent that gave up EVERYTHING to rescue His lost children.

5. Realize That Parenting Will Require Me to Let Go

Mama’s this is HARD! But if we want to raise our kids right and do what is best for them, sometimes that means letting go. And this letting go may have to happen long before they are 18 and moving out. Let’s go back to Exodus 2 and meet Moses’ mother, Jochebed. She gave birth to her son during a time of great persecution from Egypt when they were slaughtering little boys. Did she try to control the situation? Did she try to figure out the best escape? Nope, she gave her INFANT son over to God’s protection.

A man and woman from the tribe of Levi got married. The woman became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She saw that he was a special baby and kept him hidden for three months. But when she could no longer hide him, she got a basket made of papyrus reeds and waterproofed it with tar and pitch. She put the baby in the basket and laid it among the reeds along the bank of the Nile River.

From Jochebed’s trusting faith and ability to let go, God rose up in her son one of the greatest leaders this world has ever know. He led millions of people out of slavery, through the wilderness, and forty years later, to the gates of their promised land.

I’d say that fearful moment of letting go, not knowing what the future held, was worth every bit of trust and courage that Jochebed mustered in her moment in time.

 Lord God Almighty,

Please let each one who reads these words be led by Your Spirit in everything, especially in raising our children. May we be a mothers and fathers who imitate You and walk in the Spirit.  May our children never be snatched from Your hands. And may You bless them to walk in your ways all the days of their lives.

Amen

Filed Under: Fatherhood, Mama Stuff, Womanhood Tagged With: ,

A Word for Wives

October 12, 2012 by Leave a Comment

“Wives, be willing to serve your husbands the same as the Lord…You should be willing to serve your husbands in everything.”  Eph. 5:22, 24 (ERV)

The other day as I was flipping through my bible looking for some unrelated verse, I read THIS.  Really? Serve my husband the same as I would Jesus and be willing to do it all the time.

Wow, do I fall miserably short of that.

When I drag my feet, sigh, or resist serving I am doing that to the Lord. When I busy myself with things that prevent me from serving I am doing that to the Lord. When I think I am too exhausted to serve him… I am doing that to my Lord.

But on the flip side, every load of laundry, cooked dinner, listening ear, voice of compassion, word of respect, and yielding heart I offer is also to Jesus my Lord.

So today, as I face the challenges of the day, I pray for eyes that will look for ways to serve my husband. Through prayer, through tender touches, through an attitude of  grace, I pray I will serve my husband the same as I would the Lord.

“Wives, be willing to serve your husbands the same as the Lord. A husband is the head of his wife, just as Christ is the head of the church. Christ is the Savior of the church, which is his body. The church serves under Christ, so it is the same with you wives. You should be willing to serve your husbands in everything.” Eph. 5:22-24

Filed Under: Marriage, Submission in Marriage, Womanhood Tagged With:

Calling All the Single Ladies: Who Will You Give Your Heart To?

October 9, 2012 by Leave a Comment

There’s a small minority of single women out there who are content with their single-hood. Some are even blessed by it. But from the women I watch and talk to, most of the rest are struggling with their relationship status.

I see the struggle in the kind of guys they give their hearts to. Guys that won’t honor them. Guys that won’t protect them. Guys who have no ambition or no job. Guys that have no intention of leading and providing, let alone being a Christ-figure in a marriage.

If you’ve read much of what I say, you know John and Stasi Eldredge’s work has molded my own. The longer I do this stuff the more and more I am smacked in the face by the truth in what they say. This is one of those face smacks:

There is an emotional promiscuity we’ve noticed among many good young men and women. The young man understands something of the journey of the heart. He wants to talk, to “share the journey.” The woman is grateful to be pursued, she opens up. They share the intimacies of their lives – their wounds, their walks with God. But he never commits. He enjoys her… then leaves. And she wonders, What did I do wrong? She failed to see his passivity. He really did not ever commit or offer assurances that he would…

Be careful you do not offer too much of yourself to a man until you have good, solid evidence that he is a strong man willing to commit. Look at his track record with other women. Is there anything to be concerned about there? If so, bring it up. Also, does he have any close male friends – and what are they like as men? Can he hold down a job? Is he walking with God in a real and intimate way? Is he facing the wounds of his own life, and is he also demonstrating a desire to repent of Adam’s passivity and/or violence? Is he headed somewhere with his life? A lot of questions, but your heart is a treasure, and we want you to offer it only to a man who is worthy and ready to handle it well.

― Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul

Don’t read over that quote too fast. There’s some genuine wisdom tucked in there. I’m a bullet point kind of girl. Go through those question one by one.

  • What’s his track record with other women?
  • What are his male friends like?
  • Can he hold down a job?
  • Is his walk with God real and intimate?
  • Is he facing his own wounds?
  • Is he repenting of his passivity or aggression?
  • Is he headed somewhere in his life?

If you answered a negative to any one of those questions do not give your heart to that man. But you can help him grow into that right? I’m afraid not. God is the only one who can transform him. But he needs you? No, a man of God needs God and will offer his strength to YOU. But he could change. Yes he could. But it is also possible that he might not. But I don’t want to hurt him. Staying in a relationship out of pity does nobody any good.

If you are struggling with finding the right guy or if you aren’t sure if you should stay in a relationship, I want to leave you with this. I want you to ask yourself if you have a man who is capable of THIS. If he is, don’t let him go, if he’s not it’s time to let go.

Husbands, love your wives the same as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it. He died to make the church holy. He used the telling of the Good News to make the church clean by washing it with water. Christ died so that he could give the church to himself like a bride in all her beauty. He died so that the church could be holy and without fault, with no evil or sin or any other thing wrong in it.

And husbands should love their wives like that. They should love their wives as they love their own bodies. The man who loves his wife loves himself, because no one ever hates his own body, but feeds and takes care of it. And that is what Christ does for the church because we are parts of his body. The Scriptures say, “That is why a man will leave his father and mother and join his wife, and the two people will become one.” That secret truth is very important—I am talking about Christ and the church. But each one of you must love his wife as he loves himself. And a wife must respect her husband. Eph. 5

It’s not about personality. It’s not about mutual interests. It’s not about attraction. Give your heart to man who has given his heart to God.

 

 

Filed Under: Singlehood, Womanhood Tagged With: , ,

Adopting His Legacy

September 20, 2012 by Leave a Comment

There are certain things that are fundamentals to human fulfillment. The essence of these needs is captured in the phrase, “to live, to love, to learn, to leave a legacy”… The need to leave a legacy is our spiritual need to have a sense of meaning, purpose, personal congruence and contribution. – Stephen Covey

When I decided to put on Christ I did it with a lot of zeal and naivety. As I sat in the crowd one night listening to the preacher talk about his overseas trips I made up my mind I was going. I wanted adventures for Christ.  When I was 18 I went. And I knew God destined me for this work. I was where I belonged. I went back, and wanted to move, giving my life to overseas ministry in Asia.

Then I met Daniel. He had a heart to serve God, but guess what, not overseas.

I have wrestled with this for 15 years. I still wrestle with it at times. But I am learning a lesson. When God called me to marriage, he called me to adopt my husband’s legacy. This is where we’ll go back to Genesis and the purpose God had for Eve.

God called Eve an ezer kenegdo. That usually gets translated “helper suitable” or “helpmeet.” But one translation that brings it home for me is “sustainer beside him.” Eve wasn’t just an administrative assistant or a house keeper. She was a sustainer beside her man. Now the crazy thing is, that title is used of God himself in relation to Israel in times of distress.

May the Lord answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you. May He send you help. Ps 20:1-2

I imagine Adam going through the garden, naming all the animals, seeing their pairs and yearning for a partner of his own. As he looked to the heavens with sorrow God answered the cry of Adams heart with the crown of creation, Eve. God put a piece of himself in her. He sent his help. His rescue to Adam’s heart was Eve. If any woman was created to adopt her husband’s legacy it’s her.

If God called me to marriage, then God called me to stand beside Daniel and use my strength to sustain him just as God purposed this for Eve.

Now let’s jump ahead to the “Worthy Woman.” The scripture says:

“Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” Prov. 31:11-2

She bought and sold, worked all night, fed and clothed the family, helped the poor and on and on. It was not for her personal achievement. It was not for her reputation. It was for her man. She did it all to enrich his life and bring him good ALL the days of her life. Her life was dedicated to the cause.

So I have to ask myself the question. Am I dedicated to the same cause? The truth is, not usually.

Do I have my agenda or our agenda? Do I seek personal and professional fulfillment or joint fulfillment? Do I go my day with thoughts of enriching my husband’s life? Am`I about adopting his purpose and his legacy?

(This is a follow-up to Wives Submit? What Does the Bible Say?, Wives Submit? What’s the Big Deal? and Wives Submit? What Submission is NOT.)

Filed Under: Marriage, Submission in Marriage, Womanhood Tagged With: , ,

Wives Submit? Part 3: What Submission is NOT

September 19, 2012 by Leave a Comment

“Selfish- a judgment readily passed by those who have never tested their own power of sacrifice. ” -George Eliot

That’s what submission really boils down to- your power of sacrifice. When we are able to put ourselves aside, we unleash great potential. Instead, we begrudge the idea, and limit the power of God in our lives.

Oh, wow how I have neglected this over the years. I haven’t seen the potential of God in my submission. I have seen it as a curse. I’ve even said, “I hate being a woman.” I have despised the opportunity God has blessed me with to imitate Jesus.

What if Jesus would have begrudged submission? Simply put, we would both be lost and have no chance at redemption.

You know, the husband/wife relationship is parallel to the Christ and the church. I learn a lot about what it means to be submissive from the Master teacher himself, Jesus, and his relationship with his bride, the church.

For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. Eph. 5:23-24

I can also learn a lot about what submission isn’t.

1. Demanded

The Father loves me because I sacrifice my life so I may take it back again. No one can take my life from me. I sacrifice it voluntarily. John 10:17-18

Just as God the Father could not demand that Jesus lay down his life, a husband cannot demand that a wife submit. This is a willing, voluntary sacrifice. It’s not with teeth clenched. It is doesn’t require biting our tongue. It does come from a deliberate heart.

2. Resignation of strength

 But when the leading priests and the elders made their accusations against him, Jesus remained silent. Mt. 27:2

We do not have to resign our strength, but at times we do have to restrain our strength, as Jesus did before his crucifixion. Jesus could have come into Pilate’s court with guns blazing. He could have had a turning over tables moment, but instead he restrained his unfathomable strength. He didn’t even speak.

I think for a wife this strength would look a lot like Esther. If you haven’t read that little Old Testament book, pour a coffee and cuddle up on the couch and go meet Esther. She was a dynamic woman. When her people, the Jews, were facing annihilation, her husband, the king was the only one who could stop it. She didn’t nag. She didn’t storm into the palace demanding action. No, she requested the presence of the king  prepared a feast. She did this knowing that he could have ordered her execution. She patiently waited for the right moment. Her gentle strength saved her people.

3. Burying your gifts

God works in different ways, but it is the same God who does the work in all of us. A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other. 1 Cor. 12: 6-7

God has portioned each of us with a gift. He doesn’t expect us to neglect or hide that gift in the name of submission. However, the gift we think God has given may not be it after all.  God won’t ask you to serve him in ways that defy your role as a wife.

4. Captivity

I will walk in freedom, for I have devoted myself to your commandments. Ps. 119:45

No commandment of God will enslave us. It is quite the opposite. Obedience to God’s commands gives us freedom. We have to remember that, “Loving God means keeping his commandments, and his commandments are not burdensome” (1 John 5:3).

Ladies, today let’s look for the opportunities that God is placing before us to show a deliberate, voluntary sacrifice for the man we have been united with in the covenant of marriage. Let’s have eyes for service and love. Let’s be ready to honor God by honoring our men.

Tomorrow… we will talk about adopting our husband’s legacy.

Filed Under: Marriage, Submission in Marriage, Womanhood Tagged With: ,
«Older Posts