“A day when all grieving parents can come together and be surrounded by love and support from their friends and families. A day where the community can better understand their pain and learn how to reach out to those grieving. This will be a day to reflect on the loss yet embrace the love. While our babies’ lives were so brief, they were also very meaningful. Yet, there was not a time to talk about them. Our society seemed to forget or perhaps, simply didn’t know how to reach out. Since October has been proclaimed ‘Sudden Infant Death Awareness Month,’ Adena will be remembering the infants that have been lost to SIDS.”
On Saturday I was honored to attend the first Walk to Remember event held by Adena Hospital for families who have lost a baby to SIDS/SUIDS.
We walked a path at the hospital lined with pink and blue pin wheels. The overcast skies seemed to grieve with our heavy hearts.
I was able to share this message with the group.
Nov 2, 2012 after 24 hrs of labor Azaiah Stone DeGarmo was born in this hospital.
Jan 4, 2013 he was pronounced dead at this hospital.
Today I remember him at his hospital.
Today we remember all the babies who were suddenly, unexpectedly and inexplicably taken from our arms.
This day is about remembering. This day is about healing. For us to heal, I want to encourage all of us who are in these dark moments of grief and fear to let go.
We feel like we should hold tighter. We should hold the memories tighter. We should hold their blankets and teddy bears tighter. But my prayer today is for this be the first step in our letting go.
Let go of guilt.
SIDS is unexplainable. It confounds the best doctors and researchers in the world. You are not to blame.
The first thought I had when I realized my son was dead was how will I tell his dad I killed him. The truth is, I didn’t. I didn’t kill him. I didn’t neglect him. I didn’t make him die. SIDS made him die.
Let go of regret.
We can kill ourselves with “what-ifs.” What if I would have?
I want to tell you a story about Dad. His name is Scott. One day Scott passed his baby sleeping in his crib and knew something was very wrong. His instinct was triggered, you see Scott is a first responder. He is a paramedic. He knew all the right things do to. Scott could not stop SIDS.
There is nothing you or I could do to stop SIDS.
Let our babies go.
Every time I see a little boy who was born close to the day of mine, I think, I wonder what Azaiah would be doing now.
But I am a Christian. I believe in heaven. I believe in the resurrection of Jesus. I believe my Azaiah is with Jesus and I need to let him be.
So as we remember today, look to the sky. Blow kisses to our babies and let the go. Let them be. Let them be with Jesus.
Maybe you are a mom or dad of a baby you lost to SIDS. Maybe you find attending these kind of things really difficult. Maybe you don’t want to accept your membership into this fellowship of suffering. I get it. I really do. But I want to leave you with one thought. You are in the best of company.
When the Roman officer who stood facing him saw how he had died, he exclaimed, “This man truly was the Son of God!” Mk. 15:19