Marriage is hard. No… marriage is really hard.
My husband and I are not marriage pros, but we have some street cred. We have been married for 17 1/2 years. We have endured the effects of sexual immorality, pornography, the lure of adultery, lots of pride, lots of “I deserve”s and life under the ministry microscope. We survived the death of our son clinging to each other.
We still have moments of not-so-wedded-bliss, but we are here. We are together. And despite the chaos that is our world, we are happy.
Good grief! How in the world did that happen?
I spent the first 10 years praying for him. It sounded something like, “God please fix him is a total mess.” And he was a total mess. But I was too.
The second half has been a lot different. I pray for him. I pray for me. We pray together. There is nothing more connecting and centering than approaching the throne of grace- together.
Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere. Eph. 6:18
Put Marriage Second
That seems pretty counter-intuitive, right? Well, check this out.
It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in people.
It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes. Ps. 118:8-9
Daniel and I spent a lot of time putting pressure on each other, prospectively, to be our all in all. I wanted him to fill the vast emotional void in my heart. He wanted me to fill the empty void in his confidence and masculinity.
It wasn’t until we independently found our answers in God that we were able to be content in our marriage.
The harder your suffering the harder you worship- together.
Be helpful. Be polite. Say “please” and “thank you.”
Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. 1 Thes. 5:18
Embrace Biblical Roles
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ… Eph 5:25
He would die for me, yes, but even more he lives for me. He heals. He comforts. He provides. He resuces. He redeemed me. He is still in the process of redeeming me when old wounds ache.
Loving as Chist means initiating reconcilation, serving and saving.
The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Gen. 2:18
These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God. Titus 2:4-5
No matter how many femenists tell us we don’t need a man, we better fight for our rights and give up bearing life for an office cubicle, there is more freedom, more peace and more holiness in being the women God made us to be.
And add some forgetfulness.
Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Col. 3:15
Believe the Best
We had to stop assuming the worst in each other. See the best. Believe the best.
Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Cor 13:7