Take Off Your Mask: You May Like What You Find!

May 31, 2012 by 2 Comments

Have you ever wore one of those plastic Halloween masks? They come in all shapes and sizes from Ronald Reagan to Wonder Woman. No matter what the mask is, we put them on to pretend we are someone else. And one thing they all have in common is you can’t breathe in those things! I can only wear one for a few minutes before the heat of my breath makes me get a little panicky. I need fresh air.

Have you ever felt like that in life? Like you need to take off the mask so you can breathe? There have been times in my life that I wore the mask so long I nearly suffocated myself. It rarely came off. No one really saw the real me, the flawed me.

My “Wonder Woman” mask got heavier and sealed on tighter when we started ministry work. I had this false impression that if we were going to help people that we had to have it all together. I thought we had to present ourselves well so other people would desire to be in Christ. I tried to keep my house spotless for visitors. I went over the top for every baby shower and Christmas party. I wanted people to think our lives were immaculate.

When our marriage trouble started the mask became air tight. I could not let anyone know what was really happening behind closed doors. Instead of putting my inner turmoil on display, I masked it with humor, confidence, and more church activities.

Finally, the mask started cracking. I let some people see some of the problems. My fears diminished and my confidence grew. I started sharing more and being real, blemishes and all. God eventually led me to a place where my weaknesses have become my ministry. He has shown me that He does His best work through my inabilities.

Now, if you come to my house expect to see dirty dishes and piles of laundry, even dog hair under the couch cushions. You may see me in my pj’s til noon, my hair frizzy and no make-up. If you stay long enough you may witness a mother melt down or two. You will see children who make bad choices now and again, parents who make mistakes, and a husband and wife who sometimes let their selfishness win. I try to do my best, but sometimes I just plain mess-up.

The thing is, I like it that way. I like it because when I stumble I am reminded that it’s not about me. It is not about perfection. It is not about mastering the Christian graces, but it is about grace.

“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.  That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Cor. 12:9-10

If you are still wearing your mask I encourage you to start peeling back the layers until you find the real you. It is so worth it. Once you breathe that fresh air you will never go back.

Filed Under: Christian Life, Womanhood Tagged With: ,

What Can Mere Mortals Do to Me?

May 30, 2012 by 3 Comments

 

“I praise God for what he has promised. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me?” Psalm 56:4 NLT

I want you to make a list of the things you worry about-not a mental list, but a real paper/pencil list of your worries.

  1. Bills
  2. Family issues
  3. Guilt
  4. Grades
  5. Job stress
  6. Marital conflict
  7. Gossip
  8. Housework

Now take your list of worries and beside each one write if those things are of God or “mere mortals.”

When David wrote Psalm 56 he was recalling a time when he had been seized by the Philistines and taken to Gath, Goliath’s hometown. Everyone around him wanted to destroy him. Only one person was looking out his well-being, God.

Maybe your worries make you feel like everyone is against you. Maybe you feel like you are being crushed under the weight of your circumstances. So did David. But find comfort in the same truth that he did. “What can mere mortals do to me?”

One thing I have learned about our God, is that He wants us to believe that He bigger than our circumstances. His ability to protect us is bigger than our worries. His providence sees farther than the moment. He wants us to trust Him.

I love it that David, in the middle of despair, says, “I praise God for what he has promised. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me?”  David quits focusing on men and fixes his hope in promises of God. He praises God. He trusts God. He relinquished his fear. What does that look like for you and me?

  • Block out the criticism and persecution that comes from people
  • Relinquish your fears
  • Focus on God
  • Praise God
  • Trust God’s promises

For extra credit go read all of psalm 56 and leave a comment here on how this psalm speaks to your heart.

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We Will Rise: Looking Forward to the Resurrection of the Dead

May 29, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Today is the funeral for a sister in our church. She is already departed, but today her body will return to the dust. Family will say good-bye. Tears will be shed. Closing the chapter of her life on earth will begin. I am reminded, in Christ, this is only the beginning for Sister Mary.

We tell you this directly from the Lord: We who are still living when the Lord returns will not meet him ahead of those who have died. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven with a commanding shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet call of God. First, the Christians who have died will rise from their graves. Then, together with them, we who are still alive and remain on the earth will be caught up in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. Then we will be with the Lord forever. 1 Thes. 4:15-17.

In fact, Christ has been raised from the dead. He is the first of a great harvest of all who have died. So you see, just as death came into the world through a man, now the resurrection from the dead has begun through another man. Just as everyone dies because we all belong to Adam, everyone who belongs to Christ will be given new life. But there is an order to this resurrection: Christ was raised as the first of the harvest; then all who belong to Christ will be raised when he comes back. 1 Cor. 15:20-23

In light of death and the resurrection of the dead, let’s keep all the earth tied stuff in perspective. It really means nothing. For one day we will rise.

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Take Me To Prison

May 28, 2012 by 2 Comments

“Remember those in prison, as if you were there yourself.” Hebrews 13:3

Last night I had the opportunity to witness arousing worship unto the Lord. The singing was deeply spiritual. The prayers were more heartfelt than any I have heard. The preaching of the gospel powerfully impacted four in the audience to surrender their lives to King Jesus. The fellowship was tight. Tears streaked my face, as well as the preacher’s and many listeners.

And it all happened behind prison walls.

It made me wonder,why is prison worship so good? I know why. Because those brothers have accepted the reality that they deserve death for their crimes and their sins. They know that they deserve the punishment. They know that any favor they are shown is something called grace.

How about you? Do you know that you deserve death for your crimes?  Those inmates have broken the laws of man-made government. You have broken the laws of a holy God (Rom. 3:23).

They have been sentenced to life in prison. You have been sentenced to death. “For the wages of sin is death…” (Rom. 6:23).

They bask in the truth that they wake up everyday and receive the free gift of salvation. You have also been given the same gift of freedom. You have been offered a pardon for your crimes.  ”…but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord” (Rom. 6:23).

But the choice is yours to accept the pardon or pay the price of your guilt with your own blood. As I have heard behind those walls before, “I recommend Jesus.”

Christ died for us when we were unable to help ourselves. We were living against God, but at just the right time Christ died for us. Very few people will die to save the life of someone else, even if it is for a good person. Someone might be willing to die for an especially good person. But Christ died for us while we were still sinners, and by this God showed how much he loves us.

We have been made right with God by the blood sacrifice of Christ. So through Christ we will surely be saved from God’s anger. I mean that while we were God’s enemies, he made friends with us through his Son’s death. And the fact that we are now God’s friends makes it even more certain that he will save us through his Son’s life. Rom. 5:6-10

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Does Feminism Really Lead to Freedom?

May 25, 2012 by 1 Comment

‘The feminine mystique has succeeded in burying millions of American women alive”- Betty Friedan

“A liberated woman is one who has sex before marriage and a job after.” - Gloria Steinem

The feminist movement in American successfully convinced generations of women that they have to fight for their rights. You’ve got to stand up for yourself if you want to be liberated. If you want to break the chains of oppression, women must assert themselves.

I was raised by mother who was the product of all the radical mantras of the 60′s. I get what feminism did. “Submission” was a dirty word. Showing your strength was it’s replacement.

I fear many Christian women have been deeply impacted, yet they approach their feminism is more subtly. In most churches I don’t see women burning their bras or  parishioners crossing picket lines.

But I do see a lot of women in turmoil over their role in the home. I hear them complain that their husbands don’t help enough with the kids or they have to do all the housework. I hear women publicly chastise their husbands for their shortcomings. I have heard statements like “I just couldn’t be home with my kids all day.” Or “Being at home just isn’t for me.” They replace a mother’s touch with corporate day care, home cooked meals for fast food, and family time with “me” time.

So does our liberation come from trashing our aprons for a portfolio? Should we abandon the shackles of marriage to discover our true selves? How do can we be truly liberated?

I have lived the internal struggle. I have worked outside the home and tried to balance being a wife and mother with my job (a task that got harder the larger my tribe grew). I have felt bound to the home, chained by my duties as a mother, and defeated because my educational pursuits and career didn’t go as I planned.

In light of passages like 1 Tim. 5:14-15 and Titus 2:4-5, you many find yourself in the struggle today. You may be unsure of your direction or conflicted about your role.

So I advise these younger widows to marry again, have children, and take care of their own homes. Then the enemy will not be able to say anything against them.  For I am afraid that some of them have already gone astray and now follow Satan.

These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children,  to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.

I want to leave you with these thoughts from Paul’s writings to the church in Rome.

Now we can serve God, not in the old way of obeying the letter of the law, but in the new way of living in the Spirit…And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death…Those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit.  So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.

Let yourself live in the Spirit. Bask in the power of the freedom that He gives. Turn your will and your decisions over to Him and then… THEN  be ready for a life of peace.

*Another addition: I think the scriptures show that there is a huge different between having a job outside the home and abandoning the home. Some women seek outside employment to benefit the family, while other women to fulfill a selfish need.  There is certainly a balance that can be reached when our priorities put the home first.

Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She finds wool and flax and busily spins it. She is like a merchant’s ship, bringing her food from afar. She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls. She goes to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard. She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. She makes sure her dealings are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night. Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber. She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy. She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm clothes. She makes her own bedspreads. She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns. Her husband is well known at the city gates,where he sits with the other civic leaders. She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the merchants. She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!” Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise. Prov. 31:10-31

Filed Under: Christ-followers & Culture, Home Stuff, Mama Stuff, Marriage, Womanhood Tagged With: ,

Marriage, Motherhood and the Home: What does the Bible Say About the Assault on Women?

May 24, 2012 by 1 Comment

So I advise these younger widows to marry again, have children, and take care of their own homes. Then the enemy will not be able to say anything against them. For I am afraid that some of them have already gone astray and now follow Satan (1 Tim. 5:14-15).

So that advise may not be so popular these days. Just get married, have some babies and take care of the house. Where is Gloria Steinem when you need her? That is just down right demeaning! Archaic!

Or is it? The scripture in Timothy encourages these young widows in this so that enemy can’t accuse them because some of the women have already started following Satan. YIKES! Accused by the enemy? Following Satan? Those stakes are high. Maybe there is something more to this wife/mother thing than meets the eye.

I would say so. We are under spiritual attack from forces of darkness and our weapons of warfare: being a wife and mother and housekeeping. Seriously? Seriously.

Some things to note about this attack throughout the scriptures:

1. It was a result of Eve’s sin and affects all women after.

Then the Lord God said to the serpent…“And I will cause hostility between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring (Gen. 3:15).

2. Satan relentlessly pursues women.

And the dragon was angry at the woman (Mary) and declared war against the rest of her children—all who keep God’s commandments and maintain their testimony for Jesus (Rev. 12:17).

3. Satan is the father of lies.

For you are the children of your father the devil, and you love to do the evil things he does. He was a murderer from the beginning. He has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies. (John 8:44).

4. He uses lies to accuse us.

For the accuser of our… sisters has been thrown down to earth— the one who accuses them before our God day and night (Rev. 12:10).

5. He is still seeking to devour us.

Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour (1 Pet. 5:8).

So if Satan is using lies against us to attack us spiritually how do we know? If we are supposed to “stay alert” what does that look like? What sort of things does he lie about?

Nancy Leigh DeMoss, in her book Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free, deals with 40 different lies that women in our society deal with that are a direct attack on our unity with God. Here’s a few. See if you’ve ever heard these spoken to your heart:

  • A career outside the home is more valuable and fulfilling than being a wife and mother.
  • I have to have a husband to be happy.
  • It is my responsibility to change my mate.
  • My husband is supposed to serve me.
  • If I submit to my husband I’ll be miserable.
  • Sometimes divorce is a better option than staying in a bad marriage.
  • It’s up to us to determine the size of our family.
  • We are not responsible for how our children turn out.
  • If I feel something it must be true.
  • I can’t control my emotions.
  • If my circumstances were different I would be different.

Unless you actively are defending yourself against the lies of your enemy, he is lying to you somehow. It is what he does. Sometimes the lies are bold. Other times they are subtle.  Remember Satan can disguise himself as an angel of light (2 Cor. 11:14). He can even make you think you are doing what’s right.

The lies that Satan snagged me with kept me from enjoying freedom in Christ. I was trying to be in Christ, but something always popped up to hold me back. Before I was married I didn’t know I could be at peace with God as my husband (Is. 54:5). In marriage I thought I had to step up and spiritually lead in absence of my husband’s leadership (Eph. 5:24). I just knew that it was up to me to “fix” my husband’s defects (Mat. 9:12). And when I got mad… there was no restraining my words (Gal. 5:23). And I sheepishly responded to “What do you do?” with an answer that I thought would sound better than wife or mother. I believed my femininity was a curse.

Sisters, we often hear conservatives bemoan the attack on the nuclear family, but there is another attack on the home that is getting much less news coverage. Women are under attack. Motherhood is being assaulted. This attack isn’t coming from liberal legislators or renegade judges, it is coming from the Prince of Darkness and we need to wake up.

Today, I challenge you to examine your belief system on marriage, family and children. I challenge you to determine if you have been more influenced by the holy writings or the feminist movement in America. As women who claim Christ, let’s go all the way. Let’s live a counter cultural life that is testimony to power of the God we serve!

(For supplemental reading, I suggest reading this piece from 2008 by Alice Walker’s daughter Rebecca, “How My Mother’s Fanatical Views Tore Us Apart.” She details her mother’s social views and the negative impact it had on her.)

I feel the need for another disclaimer:  This post is not an attack on women as wage earners nor does it necessarily convey the all-time personal beliefs of the author. It is simply the result of her personal study.

Filed Under: Christ-followers & Culture, Home Stuff, Mama Stuff, Marriage, Uncategorized, Womanhood Tagged With: , ,

So Many Choices So Little Time!

May 23, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Life as a woman is full of choices,more choices than we have ever been afforded. The hard part for us is to follow God’s plan for women despite guilt, culture, or expectations. We have the opportunity to choose who we marry or whether or not we get married. We choose whether or not to have children. We choose to be stay-at-home moms or to work outside the home.  Breast or bottle. Home school, public school or private school. The choices honestly never seem to stop.  The debates on these topics often become emotional, even heated.

I don’t claim to have the answers. But I know a God who does. I can’t tell you if you are on the right career path, but He can. I can’t tell if you should marry your boyfriend, but He can. I can’t answer your questions about the size of your family, but He can.

I have had a lot of personal correspondence the last week asking me intimate questions about all of these topics. I appreciate your trust in me and the openness that some of these issues of the heart have been brought up. That is honestly one of the biggest reason I wanted to open myself up in this blog thing. I love the open discourse with women seeking the same God.

For all the questions that have been spoken and the ones that have remained silent, I have one answer for all of them.

Walk in the Spirit. Ask God for His opinion. Then free yourself to just cut loose and follow Him.

The Spirit alone gives eternal life. Human effort accomplishes nothing. And the very words I have spoken to you are spirit and life (John 6:63).

And true circumcision is not merely obeying the letter of the law; rather, it is a change of heart produced by God’s Spirit. And a person with a changed heart seeks praise from God, not from people (Rom. 2:29).

For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God (Rom. 8:14).

We have received God’s Spirit (not the world’s spirit), so we can know the wonderful things God has freely given us.When we tell you these things, we do not use words that come from human   wisdom. Instead, we speak words given to us by the Spirit, using the Spirit’s words to explain spiritual truths. (1 Cor 2:12-13).

Tomorrow I’m going to talk about the spiritual attack on women mentioned in 1 Tim. 5:14-15. “ So I advise these younger widows to marry again, have children, and take care of their own homes. Then the enemy will not be able to say anything against them. For I am afraid that some of them have already gone astray and now follow Satan.” 

See you tomorrow!

Filed Under: Home Stuff, Mama Stuff, Marriage, Womanhood Tagged With: , ,

Life is Short: Discover What Really Matters

May 22, 2012 by 1 Comment

Daniel’s Mema and the great-grandmother of my children

Well, we are diving back into, Help Wanted: Mother’s Needed. These comments were so good I felt like they needed a little more attention than the comments section afforded.

“The happiest time of my life was during the depression when my mother was at home. I was only nine years old when she went to work. It was during WW11, and women went to work because the men left to fight for our country. When the war was over, the women didn’t want to give up their jobs to stay at home, and didn’t. That was, in my opinion, the downfall of the home. It’s easier to work away from home, have someone else watch your kids, and even hire someone to clean your house… not to mention being able to have many more “things”.
Oddly, the depression years hold some of my best family memories even though we wore hand-me-downs and ate soup beans at about every meal. (my mother could fix them in so many different ways). We wore hand-me-downs and played made up games. We were so happy when someone gave us a Sears & Roebuck catalog to cut up and make paper dolls. .. I’m not saying folks should have to live that way now, but sometimes what we think are necessities, we could easily do without. I know many women who truly do have to work to help support their families. Too many, though, choose to go out and work. I was one who chose to work out of the home and I can look back with regret and see so many precious times and moments that I missed as well as see what my children missed because of my not being there when they needed me.” -Mema age 81

“Never was a stay at home mom thought my ‘job’ was the most important. Now I realize that decision was a mistake. I ended up divorced and left the Lord for many years. But our God is so good because despite my bad choices in life, He protected my daughter throughout and my daughter is now a fine christian woman, a dutiful wife and outstanding mother. So every day I thank my Saviour that Serena Kay DeGarmo is my daughter and that she nurtures and loves my grandchildren with such zeal and devotion and has chosen to raise them alongside Daniel in a pure and Godly home. I truly admire my daughter because despite all of the material “treasures” that I gave her when she was growing up, she has taught me what the true treasures in my life are.” – My Mom age 62

First of all, feel free to skip all of my mother’s doting. She is my mom and a little biased.

Second, when I think of passages like “Don’t neglect your mother’s instruction.” I am reminded that older women in our churches and families have a lot to offer. In my youthful, foolishness, I used to disregard older women’s advise if I didn’t deem them “worthy.” Now, I’ll give it to you, age alone doesn’t make a person wise, but experience, self-reflection, and God’s Spirit working in you does. I think these women qualify.

I see these thoughts from two older women as a modern day Ecclesiastes for women. They have “been there and done that” and they want to share with us what the real meaning of life is. Solomon did the same thing. At the end of his life he detailed all his earthly achievements and all the “stuff” he acquired. But at the end he said, “But as I looked at everything I had worked so hard to accomplish, it was all so meaningless- like chasing the wind. There was nothing really worthwhile anywhere” (Ecc.2:11).

If I could sum up Mema and my mom’s words together it would be this, “Stuff doesn’t matter people do.” Relationships matter. Growing strong families for God matters. Being there, actually THERE, for each other matters. Let’s stop chasing the wind and do something with our lives that really matters.

I’m sitting here thinking of something else to say about it. But I think that’s enough commentary for today. I’ll just let their words speak for themselves.

I will leave you with the verses that started all this:

As for you, Titus, promote the kind of living that reflects wholesome teaching... teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers.Instead, they should teach others what is good.  These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children,  to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God (Titus 2:1, 3-5).

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NO CHILDREN: What Does the Bible Say About Having Kids?

May 21, 2012 by 4 Comments

After Friday’s post last week, “Help Wanted: Mother’s Needed”, I had an interesting question posed to me. What if a woman decides not to have children? Is that ok?

First of all I want to acknowledge that this is a sensitive and emotional topic. I don’t want to deal with it lightly or brashly. But I do want to answer as truthfully as I can, in love. In my own home I have had to examine a lot of my ideas and compare them to the scripture because of the “baggage” I started this gig with. No matter where we are in life we have baggage that influences our choices and actions. The thing we have to decide is if we are willing to let go of our preconceived ideas and let our God shape us or not. It should be our goal to get our belief system inline with our Creator. “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ”  (2 Cor. 10:5).

I also have a thing about directly answering questions. I don’t really think it’s my place. The best I can do is offer God’s words as direction for your own spiritual journey. I also believe that the Holy Spirit is given as our guide. Jesus said, “when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth…” (John 16:13).  The word of God coupled with the guidance of the Holy Spirit and a submissive heart is bound to find truth.

One more disclaimer before we dig in:  this isn’t dealing with infertility, only the choice to not have children as a married woman.

So here it goes, my journey into the empty womb.

The first stop, Eden. The more life I live, the more I see that it all goes back to our created purpose. Why did God make us in the first place? When I struggle in my marriage or in life in general, it is usually because I’m not living out my created purpose. God created women unique, feminine, and glorious to fulfill a special need that nothing else could.

When we see Adam after the creation of animals, we notice that Adam’s loneliness pulled God’s heartstrings. God created male and female among the creatures, but hadn’t created a counterpart to Adam. So God puts the finishing touches on six, glorious days of creation and fashions Eve, specifically for Adam. I can’t imagine how Adam felt seeing her for the first time. I remember when I came around the corner to walk down the isle on my wedding day. Daniel’s eyes were fixed on me. The awe Adam must have felt in that moment had to be overwhelming. He is in unblemished fellowship with God and has been given the most perfect companion.

In the moment God himself extends his hand of blessing to them and says, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth…” (Gen 1:28 NASB). The CEV reads,  “God gave them his blessing and said: Have a lot of children! Fill the earth with people and bring it under your control…”  The TNIV translates the same verse, “God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it… ”

After the flood this call is repeated to Noah and his sons. “And God blessed Noah and his sons and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth” (Gen. 9:1).

God’s original design calls for women to be life-givers and for marriage to bear children.

God also made a habit of speaking to people by giving them children. Dt. 28:11 establishes that children are a gift from God, “The Lord will give you prosperity in the land he swore to your ancestors to give you, blessing you with many children…” Women like Sarah (Gen 21), Manoah’s wife (Jud. 13) and Hannah (1 Sam.1) were rewarded for their righteousness, after a period of infertility, with children. They birthed Isaac, Samson, and Samuel, all men who fulfilled their purpose in God’s preparation for the Messiah.

On the flip side, the scriptures only tell us specifically of one barren woman who remained childless to her death. Michal (2 Sam. 6) was punished for mocking the worship of her husband, King David.

The scriptures also say:

  • The godly always give generous loans to others, and their children are a blessing (Ps 37:26).
  • Children are a gift from the Lord;they are a reward from him (Ps 127:3).
  • For when they see their many children and all the blessings I have given them, they will recognize the holiness of the Holy One of Israel. They will stand in awe of the God of Jacob (Is 29:23).

I love that last verse from Isaiah. God tells us that we will recognize his holiness through the children he gives us. Through the gift of children, God draws us closer to him. We may limit our awe of God when we stand at the shore of the ocean, gaze at the stars, or glimpse at the scene from a mountain summit. But God himself says that we will stand in awe of HIM when we see our children.

After the captivity, God uses Malachi to reiterate his word to Israel after the rebuilding of Jerusalem. In an effort to restore the ways of Jehovah, part of the message Malachi delivers is this, “Didn’t the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart…” (Mal. 2:15).

So do I think it’s “wrong” to not have children? I can’t say that because God hasn’t. But I can say that our refusal is an incredible missed opportunity to see the face of God. There is no earthly treasure that beats that.

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HELP WANTED: Mothers Needed

May 18, 2012 by 9 Comments

Help Wanted: Mothers needed to birth, feed, nurture, teach and love. Location: anywhere.Will require selfless sacrifice of time, sleep, and personal wants. Responsibilities include but are not limited to cooking, cleaning, bathing, laundry, tutoring, transportation, medical care, listening, playing, drawing, homework assistance and discipline, which may result temporary discord. Wages competitive. Will be paid in hugs, snuggles, kisses, smiles and laughter.

 

As for you, Titus, promote the kind of living that reflects wholesome teaching… teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers.Instead, they should teach others what is good. These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.  Titus 2:1,3-5

Lately I’ve noticed a trend. Actually I was part of the trend.  Several years ago I found myself living in another country, being a stay-at-home mom to three children, and yearning for more.  So, I went back to school.  I longed for success.  I craved acknowledgement for all those qualities in me that I thought died with motherhood. When I found out we were moving back to the States seven years ago, the FIRST phone call I made was to my former boss to get my job back.

So you may be wondering where I’m going with this. “Is she saying it’s wrong to go back to school?” “Does she think it’s WRONG to go back to work?”  I know… how archaic right?!

Well, I am not a legalist so I won’t go there.  But remember, I am a purist and I love the Word of God.  My challenge to you, as a wife and mother, is one I issued to myself several years ago, “Why?”

Do you find yourself aching for validation? Do you aspire for more than wiping snotty noses and cleaning up spilled Cheerios for the 27th time? Do you dream of days of yore when you actually had a functioning brain in that head of yours?

I have.

I have also tired of the endless supply of dirty clothes, diaper blow-outs and vomit on the kitchen floor. I have gone to my kitchen cupboards at 5:00pm wondering if I really have to feed them AGAIN! I have drug myself out of bed at 2:00, 3:00 and 4:00 am to attend to a sick child or comfort another after a bad dream. I drift back to days when I actually slept.

I have felt the Motherhood monotony, the tiresome doldrums, and the weight of a colorless life.

Maybe you haven’t experienced that longing the way I did. Maybe you feel like you have to work to help your family financially. I want to establish that is totally a decision between you, your husband and God. There are plenty of examples in the scripture of women who financially contributed to their family. The “Worthy Woman” of Proverbs 31 profited for her family. Lydia of the New Testament sold her goods to support her household (Acts 16:14-21). Women even financially supported Jesus (Luke 8:3).

But I want to bring your attention to another trend that affects our decision to work outside the home. Christians are generally dissatisfied with their lifestyle.  Many people claiming to follow Jesus don’t follow His example. What if we treated material possessions the way He did?

But Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens to live in, and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place even to lay his head.” Luke 9:58

Jesus didn’t even have house, and we work overtime just to make payments on the one we live in. We drown ourselves in debt for material stuff that actually pulls us away from the ways of the Spirit. We have car payments, cell phone and cable bills. We even spend money for storage of all the stuff we don’t have room for. And that college education we thought we “needed” only provides a ball and chain of debt.

When the bills are due do you find yourself stressed out and barely scraping by?  It doesn’t have to be that way.

In fact it SHOULDN’T be that way because that’s not the life that Jesus promised. Remember what the Word actually says:

  • “Loving God means keeping his commandments, and his commandments are not burdensome” (1 John 5:3).
  • “I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly” (John 10:10).
  • “It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery” (Gal. 5:1).
  • “Train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God” (Titus 2:4-5).

Sisters, I am afraid that we have allowed Satan to conquer our hearts through the culture we live in. Our society regularly sends the message that there is more to life than being a wife and mother. We now have equal opportunities, reproductive freedom, and rights beyond women of any other time and culture. Yet I see more women in slavery than ever before, and they chose it.  We are rejecting the freedom of a life in Christ for the chains of the world.

As I sit and type this, I have a sick toddler snuggling in my lap with her blankie and there is no place in the world I would rather be. The Spirit of God has transformed my discontent heart into one that joyfully serves my family (not without challenges of course). I don’t day-dream about what might have been. Now I receive in the life God has given me with gratitude. I now chose to rise to the challenge of bringing up the next generation. I don’t just want to produce good citizens, but sincere followers of Jesus Christ. God has entrusted me… ME… to raise up a spiritual army that can go into the world and impact it for Christ.

Studying English Lit isn’t so appealing anymore.  Reading Brown Bear, Brown Bear is.  Learning a new language has lost its draw. Learning to speak the language of five children’s hearts has grown in its place. I don’t strive for career achievement or the Dean’s list, I now strive to be the first in the eyes of my children.

The call of motherhood is so high God used it describe His own love. I hope today we are called back to love our children like that.

This is what the Lord says:“I will give Jerusalem a river of peace and prosperity. The wealth of the nations will flow to her. Her children will be nursed at her breasts, carried in her arms, and held on her lap. I will comfort you there in Jerusalem as a mother comforts her child.” Isaiah 66:12-13

Next week I want to talk about the freedom of being a stay-at-home mom, our call to spiritually train our kids, and what we are up against so stay tuned…

*After several personal responses today I feel the need to add a disclaimer.  I am not in favor of being a stay-at-home or work-outside-the-home mom. My goal is to get women to consider their heart and motivation behind their choices in light of passages like Titus 2.

Filed Under: Christ-followers & Culture, Home Stuff, Mama Stuff, Marriage, Womanhood Tagged With: , ,
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